Should I do all the housework because I have no job?

OP is mentally unwell right now though. She has not been made redundant and is at a loose end. She is off sick.

He is abusing your mental and physical unwellness. What a horrible person to do that.
Are you tied together through a shared rental contract or a mortgage @lulu55xxx ?
He has changed the relationship, strutting around like billy big bollox taking advantage of your emotional low.

Now that you cannot 'unsee' this new vile side of him, will you be considering your options in the New Year @lulu55xxx ?
I will cross my fingers that your savings stretch to moving out. Needn't be a whole flat or house. Shared house and shared bills might be the way forward.

He won't get better or behave nicer or act like a partner. It gets worse once abusers get a taste of the power. For this is what is happening. A power trip for his ego. Next it will be snapping his fingers and 'fetch my drink', infront of guests.

No one should be treated like a skivvy and his behaviour is awful.

But OP has 8+ hours every day and had done for 5 months and it’s shocking that the housework and cooking etc isn’t done in that time.

I hope this is a reverse as I think a lot of posters would have a very different opinion if it turns out it’s the DH who hasn’t worked for 5 months.

I was wondering the same. He will get worse.

@lulu55xxxwhat’s going to happen when your savings run out ? What if you can’t get a job?

We don't need to look far to see the real cause of your mental health problems, OP.

Get rid of him.

Hang on so you are paying in exactly what you paid in before, but out of your savings, and he is acting like you should be his mother and hanging on his every word?
wow. LTB.

what a dick.

even if you were not contributing financially I would think what a dick. Who does he think he is!?
ltb. He is not good for your MH

She’s still paying half.

Me too - it’s used up all my energy cleaning my teeth and putting a wash on at my lowest.

Mental health crisis in the UK is solved, then. With Windolene. Who knew?

It does. At my worst I can't even clean myself let alone my surroundings. Every simple task is like crawling through mud.

Why is the race/ethnicity/culture relevant to the facts?

Mental health issues do not mean that you can't see and sort dirt in your house. I have generally found that cleaning is a good way to make life feel better. Sparling windows lift my mood.

usual question from me. Why do you stay?

I mean she is off work because of her mental health so I'm assuming she may not be capable of doing 40hrs housework? If she's paying her own way whilst off sick why should she have to do 40hrs of chores? If I'm off work sick with the flu my husband doesn't expect an 8hr day of chores out of me.

I did scan the first few messages, and became infuriated on behalf of the OP, so I weighed in. I've read more now, and my opinion is shifting to a view that this is a cultural diversity issue. In which case, I am absolutely not going to post what I really think. I'll stick to the polite version.

Is he causing your mental health problems or is he making them worse?

Absolutely. If OP is spending over 40 hours per week on housework, the remaining hours should be shared equally over the weekend or in evenings. However, I’m not sure I know anyone that averages almost 6 hours per day on housework!

OP if its been a few months and the setraline hasn't worked see if they will give you something else, I had much better results on both fluoxetine and citalopram (the latter especially, but everyone is different) setraline didn't do anything for me. Xx

However I suspect your struggles with your mental health probably have a bit to do with your shitcunt, abusive boyfriend making you feel worthless. If you are paying 50% of the bills you do 50% of the chores. He's taking the piss.

Yes, because people that are not working are sat watching day time TV all day and living in filth.

Why should she be treated like a skivvy once he is home? And on the weekend?

If you’re at home all day then yes you should be doing the housework & cooking.

What else could you possibly be doing?

Forgot to add your partner sounds like a prick and you should leave him.

Blown away by the number of posters who only managed to read the title, and thought that was enough to impart their wisdom.

didn’t bother to read anything else at all which would have shown you that this is nothing to do with housework and everything to do with the op being treated like shit by her partner.,

@lulu55xxx I have a job and choose to have no partner because I hate being bossed. Yes I have to do the housework by myself but I don’t have some man telling me what to do. You don’t have to stay with this horrible man. Let him sort out his own fire stick and you’ll only have your own laundry to do.

Im more bothered that you are leaving yourself financially insecure by decimating your savings and he’s allowing it. Get a job - get your savings and income sorted and leave this absolutely vile man.

your mental health may actually be somewhat better when you aren’t in such a relationship

She’s not off work as a 1950s housewife, FFS. She’s not working because she’s not well. So yes, she should do as much housework as she can reasonably manage. But no, she should not be doing all the housework.