Should I do all the housework because I have no job?

It's hard to express an opinion when we know only 1 side of the story.
Maybe he comes home everyday and there is no dinner and the house is a total mess. That would make me angry, too, if my spouse was at home the whole day doing nothing. Why don't you just get any short-term job, in a bakery or a pizzeria, if you simply don't like housework or don't feel like doing anything at home. Or hire somebody to do it, cause that's obviously a problem.

Please leave this awful man.

It's not really about the housework - the way he is treating you is vile.

Broadly speaking, the non-working person in a couple should be doing most of the housework, but if they are unwell or other unusual circumstances arise, the working person should step up without complaint.

Taking responsibility for the housework doesn't mean waiting on your partner hand and foot while they don't lift a finger. Your partner should still take his share of things like making cups of tea, keeping his own things tidy, doing other housework if there's more to do than usual, doing things when they're on his way, e.g. collecting dirty cups if he happens to be going into the kitchen.

You haven't become his servant just because you have left your job.

I would expect you to do more as you have more leisure time. But he sounds awful. I would make him be my ex.

Ditch him and I bet your MH improves. No one should be speaking to you like that.

I don't know what other people's households are like so I can only speak for my own. Where's the stress? We don't have children, we don't live like pigs. The place is generally tidy and whichever of us has more time picks up more of the cleaning, laundry etc. It takes about an hour, maybe 2, a day to really go at it and prep dinner.

But that isn't the case here and even then that's not fair. Why should someone only contribute half financially and zero household wise? And another person contribute half financially andn100% household chores? How is that fair?

The OP has is using her savings to pay for her time off work. She's losing out on money every month ( money shes saved and missed out on things to save ) and the time she could be spent recovering she's not expected to cover her partners share of household chores. When is she meant to spend her time recovering exactly when all the stress of the household now falls onto her?

As a general principal I think h/w is done relative to how much spare time you have. So in your situation I would expect to do more if I had more time. It would feel weird to me for my DP to come home from a day at work and have to do the laundry if I'd been home all day. However, your relationship sounds dysfunctional and he sounds awful. Why are you with him?

I literally said the issue is how he treats her and he sounds vile.

But my relationship is good and healthy, so it would be quite normal that we'd want each other to have equitable time and money, and generally be able to enjoy the time we have together.

I haven’t worked in a few months either and my DH works full time. I do more of the housework, admin, laundry, and shopping now but he still does the dishwasher, bins, cooking, and anything else I ask for assistance with at the weekend. I’m not his maid or his mother, I’m his partner. Sounds like your DH views you only as someone he can get something from, how sad.

OP is paying more towards bills, and is expected to run around after her partner when he is home.

This is not about time or money. This is about her partner being an asshole.

Sounds like he wants a mummy not a partner 🙄 fuck that!

But it isn't about finances, it's surely about time? If one person has a lot more free time than the other then of course it makes practical and logical sense for them to pick up the housework.

If the partner was paying for everything then I'd say yeah she probably should have most of the household cleaning duties as such but her partner doesn't..... OP still pays what she normally pays and now she's doing extra cleaning on top. It's not like he's paying for her to not work

I don't have a job, and I do the housework, because that's a part of my contribution, as I see it.

If my husband treated myself and my contribution with such disrespect, I'd be doing 7/8's of fuck all. And terminating our joint household.

OP, I'm really sorry you haven't been well - it must be so painful and exhausting.

Can you tell us why you're still with this man? He sounds really awful and surely you must feel worse living with him than you would do on your own?

He sounds revolting.
It's not really relevant who is contributing what financially, and who works however many hours, and who is in better health. Whatever the circumstances you should be able to agree together who does what and when calmly, respectfully and fairly. That's what a good relationship looks like.

If I was well enough I would do more round the house during the day but when he is home in evenings and weekends you should both contribute equally ,do cat litter,take out bins,make each other a drink.
He is being really nasty and treating you like a skivvy and with disrespect.
He shouldnt just drop his clothes on the floor and expect you to pick them up ffs.
I think longer term it may well improve your mental health if you were to leave this relationship.
What was he like before you left your job?
I think counselling may be helpful for you and possibly couple counselling too .
You need to kick back.
Say you will do a bit more if you can as you are not at work during the day but its not your sole responsibility to do everything point out you are still contribiting financially.
Look after yourself OP

I’m willing to bet your mental health will be a lot better when you break up with this asshole.

Poor mental health can absolutely stop you doing housework.

You are in an abusive relationship with an arsehole.
Have you family you can stay with?
Get away from him asap.
He's a bad man.

Being mentally unwell does not stop you from doing the housework.

Pretty obvious you’ve beeh lucky enough to have fair or better mental health. Your comment is equivalent to someone saying flu is just a nasty cold and you can push through it.

If you were a perfectly healthy stay at home wife, then yes I’d expect you to do the vast majority of the housework. That doesn’t include making all the cups of tea or picking dirty clothes off the floor or washing all dishes or making all meals.

But that’s not your situation. You’re off work because you are ill. Mental illness is as bad as physical illness. You are also still financially supporting him as you said you are paying more towards bills than he is.

Personally, I’d stop paying your share of the bills as you’re not working. If he wants to treat you like a healthy stay at home wife with no income, then he can bloody well pay all the bills.

If he doesn’t change his attitude, use your savings to divorce him.

She left her job as her mental health was a mess. Do you think she got home and was suddenly magically better?

And yes, poor mental health can stop you doing housework. It can stop you doing lots of things. Like I said in a PP, when I have been very unwell, I can not even clean myself let alone my house.

It sounds like OP is trying her best, but she is also contributing more financially to the household, and being expected to do 100% of the work including making cups of tea for her partner. He sounds like an abusive arse.

She is not off sick, she has left her job - that is very different.

Being mentally unwell does not stop you from doing the housework.
She may not be on top form but she has 8 hours a day 5 days a week to do it.

No kids have been mentioned and so it sounds like just the 2 of them and so the house will barely need cleaning anyway.