Should I do all the housework because I have no job?

No you should not be doing everything even if you were not contributing 50/50 because what happens when you go back to work? All of a sudden he starts doing 50/50 again? I doubt it. He is treating you this way because you are letting him. Stand up to him. Refuse to do it. If he doesn't like it, you don't have kids so just kick him out.

What your husband expects is irrelevant. Only do housework that benefits you. Cook for yourself, wash only your clothes, etc. He can take care of himself. Life is too short to tolerate his behavior. Consider divorcing him.

Do you think your mental health problems might be connected you having a horrible, selfish partner???

I don’t think it’s about money it’s about spare time. You now have a lot more than he does.

I don’t think it would be unreasonable for you to do more given the time (u could go into a weekend with out the pressure to clean up etc) but no. You shouldn’t do it all and he should still treat you as an equal- because you are. He does sound like a bit of a nob.

@lulu55xxx Are you receiving financial support if you are unable to work due to ill health? I'd put some of that aside for a "rainy day."

I would expect my husband to do all the housework if he wasn’t working and I’d expect to do it if I weren’t working. What i wouldn’t tolerate is being treated badly and like someone not worthy of treating nicely because of it.
a cup of tea is not much to ask and hardly a chore. This man sounds horrible tbh

No. Just fucking no.

In my relationship our contribution/expectation on domestic chores has no relation what so ever if we are working or what we earn. We are a team. If I was off work with stress/mental health struggles/health issues, my husband would tell me to just rest and get myself better.

I think you need to reconsider the relationship. He is not your teammate who wants the best for you.

OP how you doing now? I highly recommend you LTB. He sounds vile and I would suggest that is contributing to your poor MH.

youve been with him 5 years and he was only nice for the first year? That’s a 20% grade which is a Fail.

Op why are you thinking about a future with this man? He hates you and is treating you with complete contempt. It seems like he's a naturally abusive person and has jumped on this opportunity to up his game (you said he started being nasty after the first year). You really would be far happier on your own and you really should think about leaving as this is surely not helping your mental health.

You've created (by accident!) a power imbalance. Even though you're contributing equally (and even if you weren't he's still wrong), he's making you feel guilty and you're not sure whether you're being unreasonable so you're letting him get away with being abusive. Thing is, it sounds like you are doing all the housework anyway and he's now treating you like his personal slave.

Generally, I'd expect someone with more time, to do more in the house, irrespective of financial contribution, but within what they can manage dependent on their health. If my partner was physically and mentally capable of housework but I regulalry had to come home from work and start doing cleaning and laundry as they hadn't done it despite being at home all day, because they paid the same bills as me that month, I'd be pissed off.

There was a thread on here recently from a woman who had a partner who had a large trust find / inheritance and financially contributed more so used that as a reason to do absolutely nothing despite the OP working full time and the consensus was to LTB.

However whatever the financial and health arrangements there is absolutely no excuse for him to speak to you like shit, or treat you with no respect. Even if I was a lady of leisure and my husband worked 12 hour shifts I'd expect him to make me a cup of tea if he was getting one, refrain from dumping his clothes on the floor or leaving his shit everywhere, and treat me with kindness and pick up the slack if i was ill. I think he is fundamentally, a shitty person. And like others said, staying in this relationship won't be helping your mental health long term

The disrespect is off the scale! If he wants you to do it all then keep your savings and do as he wants!

If you think you have mental health problems, first make sure you're not just surrounded by twats.

He doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. Whatever you feel about him, you can't change that. Accept it and end it.

I don't think it was your job causing your mental health issues. Seems to me that he's the problem.

If you were both happy with old fashioned traditional roles fair enough. However, your are still paying so that's not the case.
You need to get another job and leave.

I do think it’s fair for the non working partner to do most of the housework most of the time, yes. That said, why is any adult just “throwing his clothes where he stands” and not considering the fact that there will be days you can’t do much due to your physical health.

I do work again now, but I have heart failure & there are weeks where I just work & sleep. I’ve also had a lot of time not working in the past couple of years due to ill health. During that time, DH did most of the household jobs because I wasn’t physically able.

It’s supposed to be a partnership.

I hope you don’t have kids with him, and are using at least two methods of contraception

You should do most of the housework if you're able. The problem here is he wants you to be his servant.

I've been out of work and did the majority of the housework. I wasn't made to feel like a slave though and there was times DH would pick up the slack if I was ill. I'd expect the same if my DH was out of work, regardless of the financial contribution it's about a partnership and the person not working has much more time. He shouldn't be treating you so poorly though. It sounds like he is very resentful about you not working.
How long will your savings last? Can he cover all the bills when you run out? Would he be willing too? You may need to start planning how you will manage alone or even making plans to leave now. You may be better off financially if you are alone as his income wouldn't reduce benefit entitlement. It sounds like he has lost respect for you and that isn't going to be any good for a relationship or for you, especially when you have mental illness to deal with.

He sounds horrible. But I’m not working and I do all the housework because my OH is at work. But doing all the housework doesn’t mean he treats me like a maid.

A shared home needs both money and time spent on it and I believe both partners should contribute equally. That doesn’t necessarily mean a 50/50 split of everything but if you’re doing that for the financials then you should take the same approach towards the housework!

Im pretty sure becoming someone’s servant is not on the list of things recommended to improve MH.Id be petty enough to take a new job working long hours and then tell him he needs to pick up the slack at home.

I think you should certainly be doing more than him, you don’t work. You’ve got 40 hours more a week than he does. I don’t think he should get to abdicate all responsibilities so maybe he could be in charge of the bins and obviously he should be taking all his clothes to the wash basket. However, you’ve got more time so you should be doing more. It can always be reviewed once you start working again.

It's not just the money, it's that you are more time rich. So I think in general the person who has a lot more free time should do more of the chores (though not all).

But there are nuances to that.

If you are ill, your free time is reduced because it affects your ability to do chores.
Neither does it entitle the working partner to do nothing at all.
Expecting you to pick up after them is just insulting. My children get pretty short shrift for doing that. However busy you are, if you make a mess you clear it up. If you dump something down, you tidy it up.

Do you think there is more behind his nasty attitude? Do you think he's worried you'll never work again, your savings will run out and he'll be lumbered with paying for everything and doing the chores as well? So he's trying to send you a message that he won't accept that. Would be much easier if he just used his words though!

Your still contributing etc so I think he's being unreasonable and his attitude stinks which is the bigger issue here I wouldn't even stay with him