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AIBU?

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1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

279 replies

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 19:16

When we've been out walking recently in our fairly small village, my 22 month old has been wandering into front gardens and having a look around. Especially if they have Christmas decorations up, like reindeer or a Santa.

I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage.

YABU - You shouldn't let him go into front gardens at all

YANBU - As long as he doesn't break anything or stay too long it's fine

OP posts:
DyslexicPoster · 13/12/2025 22:44

Lavender14 · 13/12/2025 19:20

I wouldn't be letting my child go into other people's front garden but equally I wouldn't have an issue with him coming into mine. I'd be inclined to put him in his pram. Ultimately he needs to learn boundaries while walking with you, especially if you've another on the way. And you've no idea if those houses might have a dog. I think you need to be a little tougher and stop giving the option for him to walk if you aren't able to lift him and carry him. Especially if he went to run out into the road or similar.

I agree. It wouldn't boover me if he came in my front garden, but I'd never let my own toddler do it. Dogs especially or cars and drives etc. That's a risk you need to find peace with. I certainly never expect to look for a toddler in my drive when it's dark. In the day I'd see him. At night? Maybe not so much.

NKU2029 · 13/12/2025 22:38

I was going to ask if this was a reverse but it would appear not. Oh dear.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 13/12/2025 22:37

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:33

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad? If all my son and I did was wander up the path, touch the front door and leave, would this also be considered trespassing and bad parenting? What if we happened to put a leaflet through the door while doing it?!

I am a believer of the parenting strategy of only saying no if you are willing to enforce the boundary swiftly and completely and there are plenty of boundaries I enforce in this way. I was unsure on the general opinion for this type of toddler behaviour so I asked in order to confirm for myself if this should be a firm boundary (like not going in the road). It appears you all think it should be, which is helpful feedback.

Edited

You’re tying yourself up in knots trying to find loopholes to justify your behaviour now. You’ve asked the question, been overwhelmingly advised that you are indeed unreasonable, so perhaps just take this on board? You sound very entitled letting your child go wherever they like onto other people’s property, plus as other numerous posts have mentioned there may be hazards or dangers you aren’t aware of.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/12/2025 22:34

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 22:03

Who said it was dark? Why would I be going for a casual walk in the dark with my 1 year old at 8 months pregnant? 😂

To see Christmas lights at 4pm?

The rest are all possible accidents that can happen during the day.

Not sure if you meant your response to come across as hostile, but it's how it did to me, however. I wasn't even criticising you, they're just the sort of issues that people with unrestrained children have whether pregnant or not - reins are very useful and you could team it with a buggy for when he drops like a stone because he doesn't want to do what you want; with reins, you can hold the back and then lift him into the buggy like a rather angry handbag without doing as much damage to your lower back, hips or large bump.

Although that may have been just one of mine. It did let her have some freedom without doing me any damage - or annoying anybody else.

LadyHexham · 13/12/2025 22:29

localnotail · 13/12/2025 22:26

I would go against the overall opinion here and would say if a tiny child wanders into my front garden I would feel fine with it, even it it breaks something.

But I would be worried, OP, if other people are not that nice. Your kids could get hurt or shouted at. Maybe do put reigns on him.

Really?

If someone's uncontrolled child broke something in your garden you wouldn't be bothered?

Want to move in next door to me?

localnotail · 13/12/2025 22:26

I would go against the overall opinion here and would say if a tiny child wanders into my front garden I would feel fine with it, even it it breaks something.

But I would be worried, OP, if other people are not that nice. Your kids could get hurt or shouted at. Maybe do put reigns on him.

longtompot · 13/12/2025 22:25

I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage

I'm sure you are able to stop him from running out into the road though. Yes, I get your toddler running into a garden isn't necessarily going to end up with them being hit by a car, but it's still somewhere they should not be going, and something they need to learn. That said, they could still end up being hurt by someone going about their private business in their own garden. They could be using sharp tools, mowers, strummers, they could be reversing out of their drive...many other things
Would you knock on the door if they broke something?

LadyHexham · 13/12/2025 22:24

Absolutely don't want random kids or cats in my garden.
Dogs welcome.

JudithMitchell22 · 13/12/2025 22:22

Love this Yes - what if he refuses +gets stroppy tho? My 12 Year old grunts a bit when i talk with her, likes to have her tea ‘after’ me- something am sensing more, although I tell her tea is ready.
shes better with her mobile phone at letting me know when she is home / who shes going to the house of, which is reassuring.

TheShyMumX · 13/12/2025 22:22

When I first moved in to my house every single day a child waking home from school would walk on the slab path right in front of all the front doors on our street. There was a proper roadside path but this is our ‘private’ path so to speak between our drive and to the back gates.
anyway - he’d set the ring doorbell off every day at 3.30 and it drove me insane because 1, this is private property. 2, he’s got his coat and bag etc on potentially scruffing up my car and 3 his parent just allows him to do this
so one day I watched on the camera from inside the hall and as he walked past opened my front door and pushed the pram out right in to the little bugger. His parent came over asking him if he was ok and I simply said sorry it’s not a footpath and the postman’s already been I wasn’t expecting someone to be there! Parent looked at me but never said anything. He’s never done it again

*edited spelling

XenoBitch · 13/12/2025 22:20

It is exploring xmas decorations now. In the summer it will be exploring the pretty flowers. Oh, it won't hurt anyone if they picked a few would it... and so on.
There have been threads on here where people have seen kids pick flowers from their garden.

lifeonmars100 · 13/12/2025 22:18

One of my nieces used to try and do this when was around that age while out for a walk. Just used to grab her hand tell her "no" it was somebody else's garden and disracted her so she moved on. It wasn't always easy but she did stop doing it

Anyahyacinth · 13/12/2025 22:15

I have a stone wall at the front on my house, the top stones are painted white (railings went in WW2)...people regular hold their child's hand as they walk across the top OF A PAINTED WALL! Drives me crazy, so so thoughtless

Carandache18 · 13/12/2025 22:14

Reins, proper reins, are brilliant. My dd was a bolter and a climber. I am sure that twice they saved her life.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 13/12/2025 22:12

If you can't pick your child up, he should be in a pushchair anyway.

BellissimoGecko · 13/12/2025 22:11

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:26

I am also extremely relieved to see that everyone is so vehement about not violating private property, as clearly this should translate into being appalled at taxation, which is just theft and violation of private property by the government. If you cannot see the parallel then I can recommend reading this: https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft

😂😂😂😂

usedtobeaylis · 13/12/2025 22:11

I think it depends OP. I live on a street where none of the front gardens are enclosed and frankly we have to walk over each others grass at times because of people parking up on the pavement - I wouldn't expect anyone to drag their child out onto the road around the cars instead. I can see the attraction in close-up decorations in those circumstances so I wouldn't care unless there was a safety risk - but then safety risks shouldn't be out in the open anyway. I do think opening a gate to enter and enclosed garden is different.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 13/12/2025 22:10

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:26

I am also extremely relieved to see that everyone is so vehement about not violating private property, as clearly this should translate into being appalled at taxation, which is just theft and violation of private property by the government. If you cannot see the parallel then I can recommend reading this: https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft

Don't be silly.

TootsMaHoots · 13/12/2025 22:10

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 22:03

Who said it was dark? Why would I be going for a casual walk in the dark with my 1 year old at 8 months pregnant? 😂

It’s dark at school pick up in a lot of places. Perhaps the poster thought that’s when you were walking as many people do go out after 3.30 if they are getting their older children.

AffableApple · 13/12/2025 22:10

Reins exist for this reason. Use them.

KilkennyCats · 13/12/2025 22:09

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 22:03

Who said it was dark? Why would I be going for a casual walk in the dark with my 1 year old at 8 months pregnant? 😂

Who knows? After the fairly bizarre derail of your own thread earlier, nobody is actually taking you seriously, op 🥱

NoisyViewer · 13/12/2025 22:08

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:33

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad? If all my son and I did was wander up the path, touch the front door and leave, would this also be considered trespassing and bad parenting? What if we happened to put a leaflet through the door while doing it?!

I am a believer of the parenting strategy of only saying no if you are willing to enforce the boundary swiftly and completely and there are plenty of boundaries I enforce in this way. I was unsure on the general opinion for this type of toddler behaviour so I asked in order to confirm for myself if this should be a firm boundary (like not going in the road). It appears you all think it should be, which is helpful feedback.

Edited

It’s not the same, someone wishing to converse or give you information through a leaflet is completely different to someone wandering up looking at your flowers, through your window or in this case at your Christmas decs. I would every year take my kids out to look at the local decorations & not once did they try and wander on someone else property. Viewing from the street sufficed & if they had of id have explained they couldn’t. As for enforcing rules. Whats so hard about cutting the walk short and taking them home if they refused to pay attention. It’s not ridiculous to have a pram for an 18mo if they refuse to cooperate you could pop them in & take them home

MaryBeardsShoes · 13/12/2025 22:06

Please parent your kids 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

birdglasspen · 13/12/2025 22:05

We live in a very rural location so on trips to somewhere with streets and houses I’ve had to teach my three kids not to wonder in when they see something interesting.

just remember that one day your toddler will be a child, a teenager and an adult and it’s easier to teach them now about
boundries.

It may not be fun for you but your
toddler looks way cuter having a tantrum now when told no than they will do at 8, 13, or 18.

Gardens are private property and of course many of don’t mind a young child exploring and enjoying the lights but just like stroking a dog you should only ever do it with owners permission!

Infact just think of people’s property like their dogs!
You’d be crazy to let your toddler approach any dog at will…..

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/12/2025 22:05

TheOccupier · 13/12/2025 19:22

Are you the same poster who thought their toddler should be allowed to run wild and free in the Japanese garden at Kew? YABVU. Get reins.

Or the small child I saw gaily stamping on purpose, all over a bed of gorgeous scillas at Kew. I should have said something to the parents, I know, but I didn’t.