Page 2 | 1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

FamilyofTrees · 2025-12-13T19:16:16+00:00

When we've been out walking recently in our fairly small village, my 22 month old has been wandering into front gardens and having a look around. Especially if they have Christmas decorations up, like reindeer or a Santa. I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage. YABU - You shouldn't let him go into front gardens at all YANBU - As long as he doesn't break anything or stay too long it's fine

CinnamonBuns67 · 14/12/2025 16:40

Yabu. You absolutely can stop him doing it, you are choosing not to.

IAmAHomewardBounder · 14/12/2025 16:14

Did someone ask you not to trespass in their garden and you came on Mumsnet expecting everyone to agree with you that it was all right? You seem really defensive about this.

Also, why have you rounded down by 10 months rather than round up by 2?

KilkennyCats · 14/12/2025 16:11

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:19

Maybe I will start a new thread, thanks for the idea.

Also, not sure if you can't do maths, but 22 months is indeed a 1 year old. (12 months in a year. 24 months = 2 years. 22 months = 1 and 10 months)

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There’s a world of difference between a normally developing one year old and an almost two year old, op.
Surely you’ve noticed this?

Fedupofwimps · 14/12/2025 16:09

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:27

How would you feel if the same dogs ran out into the road? Because as I have mentioned, the gardens are not fenced and are right on a road.

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Not worried, unlike your child my dogs are trained to stay on the pavement!

Whoevenarethey · 14/12/2025 15:57

Wondering if you live near me. I certainly wouldn't let my child walk over their front gardens. The houses near me like this the owners work hard to maintain, in the summer I see people taking pride in mowing their lawn and their plants either in the garden or in pots. I would be miffed to look out my window and find your child wandering around my garden.
Look with your eyes, not with your hands.

outerspacepotato · 14/12/2025 15:56

There are lots of things your toddler can't do. Saying no is part of parenting. You don't like it, tough.

And you know better than to trespass. That's such an asshole move.

Coconutter24 · 14/12/2025 15:54

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 14:43

It's so tempting, honestly, but a) it's not my house/garden to take a picture of and b) I don't want to identify the location to anyone who knows the village/road.

Anyway, it's not that I don't accept that it is bad and I plan to stop allowing it, but I want to clarify why it was more ambiguous than some people seem to think it is!

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If you look at point A, you say it’s not your house/garden to take a photo of so surely by that logic you see it’s also not your garden to walk in?

IdaGlossop · 14/12/2025 15:50

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:35

See the picture I posted. I walked next to him (so I am also in the front garden - not ideal I know) or let him go a bit further if I can literally see there are no hazards.

I have already said I intend to stop allowing this behaviour. I can't believe how aggressive and hurtful some people have been in their responses, although Mumsnet AIBU does bring out the worst in people, I find!

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Thank-you for the picture. It clarifies the majority view: your son should not be walking on the grass in other people's gardens.

The tone of some MN posters surprises me sometimes but that's what happens on public forums.

Balloonhearts · 14/12/2025 15:46

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:27

How would you feel if the same dogs ran out into the road? Because as I have mentioned, the gardens are not fenced and are right on a road.

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That's where the electric fence comes in. Keeps dogs in and entitled parents of roaming toddlers out

IdaGlossop · 14/12/2025 15:45

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:26

You missed the end of the quote. I was trying to get a consensus opinion on whether this is a firm boundary worth enforcing. It's very unfair to just constantly say no to a toddler over something that isn't actually a big deal. Just because we have total control over their lives doesn't mean we have to be unreasonable tyrants. Also, saying no and then changing your mind when they have a screaming tantrum only teaches them that a tantrum causes the parent to change their mind, which is why you see older children still tantruming when they should be over that developmental stage.

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Saying no to a toddler is about teaching them right from wrong. Consistency is what brings fairness. If you are clear in your own mind about what is right and what is wrong (and you are not clear, hence your OP), you don't change your mind. As a parent, you have to learn to deal with tantrums, otherwise you're teaching the child that they will get what they want if they have one. As for the fairness argument, it becomes more and more significant and complex as they get older.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 14/12/2025 15:44

Reins are brilliant, especially the ones that have a sort of handle on the back so that you can pick up the child if needed. If you have a child that often impersonates the Screaming Iron Bar (loud and rigid, IYKYK), they're invaluable.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 14/12/2025 15:40

We leave the gate open for easy access for a wheelchair, not for stray kids and dogs.

Original poster

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:35

IdaGlossop · 14/12/2025 15:29

You are contradicting yourself. You have said your son is never more than a metre away from you ie small patches of grass, and yet now the gardens are big enough for families of reindeer and inflatable santas.

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See the picture I posted. I walked next to him (so I am also in the front garden - not ideal I know) or let him go a bit further if I can literally see there are no hazards.

I have already said I intend to stop allowing this behaviour. I can't believe how aggressive and hurtful some people have been in their responses, although Mumsnet AIBU does bring out the worst in people, I find!

OP posts:

Matsukaze · 14/12/2025 15:35

Yesimmoaningaboutbenefits · 13/12/2025 19:25

"there's not much I can do to stop him"

I'm sorry??? He's 1 fgs! Be a parent and stop him.

Maybe the toddler is a giant, along the lines of Honey, I Blew Up The Kid

1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

Polyestered · 14/12/2025 15:34

I think @FamilyofTrees you also need to make sure you aren’t making a rod for your own back. Child needs to learn he can’t walk all over other people’s property, because then it will be harder to undo . What if in the spring he wants to go into peoples gardens because he sees flowers he likes? Will you let him pick them? Etc etc. much easier for you if you just nip it in the bud and have a clear rule - walk nicely on the path.

Original poster

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:31

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/12/2025 15:10

You could do a drawing. But in your OP you said wondering into gardens to have a look around, now it’s literally just a small patch of grass next to the pavement and he can’t get more than 1m away - sounds more like you’ve changed your story after hearing responses to be honest. But ultimately no matter how small someone else’s garden is, it’s still not your child’s to walk on so I’m glad you listened and won’t allow it going forward.

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Okay, this is blurry because Google maps is blurry, but seems fairly unidentifiable. The pavement is on the left of the road and there are large grass fronts gardens right next to it.

OP posts:

JustPeter · 14/12/2025 15:30

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:26

You missed the end of the quote. I was trying to get a consensus opinion on whether this is a firm boundary worth enforcing. It's very unfair to just constantly say no to a toddler over something that isn't actually a big deal. Just because we have total control over their lives doesn't mean we have to be unreasonable tyrants. Also, saying no and then changing your mind when they have a screaming tantrum only teaches them that a tantrum causes the parent to change their mind, which is why you see older children still tantruming when they should be over that developmental stage.

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Did your parents allow you to wander in other people's gardens? When you were a child, were your friends allowed to? Do you see other mums nowadays allowing their kids to?
Why don't you know this isn't OK?
What other odd blinds spots of entitlement do you have?

IdaGlossop · 14/12/2025 15:29

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:20

They aren't small at all. They are just a very large patch of grass with a stone path leading to the front door. Recently there have been some very large and attractive reindeer families and blow up Santas installed in some of them!

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You are contradicting yourself. You have said your son is never more than a metre away from you ie small patches of grass, and yet now the gardens are big enough for families of reindeer and inflatable santas.

Original poster

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:27

Fedupofwimps · 14/12/2025 15:26

How would you feel if my two Springer spaniels came bounding up to your child exploring their garden??
They are not aggressive but I'm assuming you would have no problem with them bowling him over? I could guarantee they could get to him far quicker than you could cover the meter you say he is away from you.
Stupid and irresponsible parenting.

How would you feel if the same dogs ran out into the road? Because as I have mentioned, the gardens are not fenced and are right on a road.

OP posts:

Original poster

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:26

JustSawJohnny · 14/12/2025 12:32

.....there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown.......

You'd be doing yourself a massive favour if you stopped this pandering shit now, rather than later.

You missed the end of the quote. I was trying to get a consensus opinion on whether this is a firm boundary worth enforcing. It's very unfair to just constantly say no to a toddler over something that isn't actually a big deal. Just because we have total control over their lives doesn't mean we have to be unreasonable tyrants. Also, saying no and then changing your mind when they have a screaming tantrum only teaches them that a tantrum causes the parent to change their mind, which is why you see older children still tantruming when they should be over that developmental stage.

OP posts:

Fedupofwimps · 14/12/2025 15:26

How would you feel if my two Springer spaniels came bounding up to your child exploring their garden??
They are not aggressive but I'm assuming you would have no problem with them bowling him over? I could guarantee they could get to him far quicker than you could cover the meter you say he is away from you.
Stupid and irresponsible parenting.

Original poster

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:20

IdaGlossop · 14/12/2025 15:16

So some of these minute gardens without fences that front onto the pavement have Santas and reindeer in them. The Santas and reindeer must be very small - and liable to get pinched.

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They aren't small at all. They are just a very large patch of grass with a stone path leading to the front door. Recently there have been some very large and attractive reindeer families and blow up Santas installed in some of them!

OP posts:

Original poster

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:19

DidIJustHearWhatIThinkYouSaid · 14/12/2025 00:17

Oh dear. OP you need to start a new thread. In the meantime, parent your almost two year old and edit your thread title, your child is not a one year old.

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Maybe I will start a new thread, thanks for the idea.

Also, not sure if you can't do maths, but 22 months is indeed a 1 year old. (12 months in a year. 24 months = 2 years. 22 months = 1 and 10 months)

OP posts:

IdaGlossop · 14/12/2025 15:16

FamilyofTrees · 14/12/2025 15:11

Fair enough, I see the confusion, but I did specify it was a reindeer and Santa which specifically got his attention and neither were lit up (it was about 12:30). I didn't mean to come across as hostile.

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So some of these minute gardens without fences that front onto the pavement have Santas and reindeer in them. The Santas and reindeer must be very small - and liable to get pinched.

Maray1967 · 14/12/2025 15:12

Anononony · 13/12/2025 19:20

He should not be crossing the boundary into other people's gardens. If he tantrums he goes home, he will soon learn if you teach him

This!! Take the buggy, and when he kicks off he gets firmly strapped in there and taken home.

You are teaching him that he is allowed to go wherever he wants. Stop that now and teach him to respect other people’s property.

If you put the effort when DC are 1/2 it will be easier when they’re 3/4.