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AIBU?

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Original poster

We’re away for the weekend and DP is as grumpy as hell

212 replies

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:07

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

OP posts:
Original poster
bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:17

Tighteningmybelt · 13/12/2025 18:16

What’s his reason for saying no?

He doesn’t fancy this or fancy that

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 13/12/2025 18:16

He’s telling you very loud and clear that he doesn’t want to be there, isn’t he?

When you asked him why he’s being such a miserable twat and ruining the weekend, what did he say?

Tighteningmybelt · 13/12/2025 18:16

What’s his reason for saying no?

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:16

Gymnopedie · 13/12/2025 18:13

Go home. Whatever the fallout it doesn't sound like you have much to lose. And it might bring things to a head, whichever way that ends up looking like.

Does he make a habit of spoiling things you're looking forward to, or when the attention might be on you, eg your birthday? (And by contrast is he perfectly capable of being cheerful when he's out with friends?)

It does sound like he's checked out of the relationship. Either that or he's seriously depressed.

We don’t really have any friends. I have lots but we have no friends day really as a couple .

OP posts:
PurpleCoo · 13/12/2025 18:15

This sounds like a really horrible situation to be in. Is he depressed or experiencing mental health difficulties? Can he be encouraged to go and get support?

In the meantime, I would be inclined to carry on and do what you want to do. But invite him. E.g. I'm going to go and check out such and such a place, you are welcome to join me" instead of "shall we do x, y. Z" where he is saying no, then you don't do anything either.

Just go out for dinner on your own, don't let him stop you going out and having fun. I travel all the time on my own and often eat out in places. It's not at all awkward and a completely normal thing to do. Loads of women travel the world on their own. I have been Canada, Europe, Asia on my own, and no one bats an eyelid.

TFImBackIn · 13/12/2025 18:14

What's your home situation like? Do you have children together? I'm glad he's your partner and not your husband.

If you don't live together, I'd pack up my stuff and go.

If you do live together, I'd do the same, tbh!

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:14

ShawnaMacallister · 13/12/2025 18:10

The fallout?
Are you scared of him? Is he emotionally abusive? Could you leave?

No I’m not scared of him but it would just be less drama to stay

OP posts:
Tomatocutwithazigzagedge · 13/12/2025 18:13

Don't feel awkward to go out and eat alone. There's nothing wrong with treating yourself to a nice meal.

Take the evening to think about what you want in life, it certainty can't be one living on eggshells for the remainder, can it?

Gymnopedie · 13/12/2025 18:13

Go home. Whatever the fallout it doesn't sound like you have much to lose. And it might bring things to a head, whichever way that ends up looking like.

Does he make a habit of spoiling things you're looking forward to, or when the attention might be on you, eg your birthday? (And by contrast is he perfectly capable of being cheerful when he's out with friends?)

It does sound like he's checked out of the relationship. Either that or he's seriously depressed.

Pancakeflipper · 13/12/2025 18:11

Do you live together? I'd just go if you don't. More complicated if you live together cos' ot needs to be 'discussed' at some point but leaving is still an option..

I'd wake him up and ask if he wants to stay and have fun or go home now.

Either way I'd be thinking seriously about dating Mr Misery.

ShawnaMacallister · 13/12/2025 18:10

The fallout?
Are you scared of him? Is he emotionally abusive? Could you leave?

Nearly50omg · 13/12/2025 18:09

Why are you with him? Life living with a man who makes you walk on eggshells all the time isn’t living it’s utterly misery! It’s a form of domestic abuse too. Tell him to stop being a miserable arsehole or he can leave and find somewhere else to live

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