Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We’re away for the weekend and DP is as grumpy as hell

212 replies

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:07

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 13/12/2025 19:37

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:17

We don’t live together

Show quote history

Thank God you dont live together. I think you can do better, you say you have lots of friends, make the decision to live your best life and leave this miserable git.

Whatsthatsheila · 13/12/2025 19:37

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:51

So have cancelled first table. Have now booked a table in a jazz bar - I love a bit of jazz . Am able to eat there too 😊

Fuck him off. Life’s too short to be with a grump. You could be with someone wonderful and having lots of fun!

nomas · 13/12/2025 19:34

What’s stopping you from dumping him, OP?

somanychristmaslights · 13/12/2025 19:32

Have a great time at the jazz bar!!!! When you get home, dump him.

pictoosh · 13/12/2025 19:31

He sounds a miserable bastard...and a selfish one at that.

Find someone you can have fun with.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 13/12/2025 19:26

He sounds like an arsehole. Hope you can enjoy your evening tonight. Think about what you want from life. You sound like you are putting much more into this relationship than he is.

glendabrownlow · 13/12/2025 19:17

Have a lovely evening tonight, Op. In the morning, pack and go home. Sorry, but the relationship is obviously over. Doesn't sound like you've lost much.

Livingthebestlife · 13/12/2025 19:16

I'd be interested in knowing his age, only because my own DH when he reached his 50s went from social animal to practically a hermit.

Good to read you booked a table and as everyone else says there is nothing wrong eating alone, people watching is fabulous.

If it were me I'd ask him why he came away if he planned on sleeping and not doing anything. Don't have regrets down the line, really think about what you want for your future.

Eyeshadow · 13/12/2025 19:08

Did he drive?
Can you get back home by yourself?

Either go home or tell him to go home.

You’d rather walk around on egg shells than upset him?

Fuck that he’s being a twat and needs to be called out on it.

I would not be going away with him again - what’s the point.

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 13/12/2025 19:06

If anyone should go home, it should be him. If he just wants to sit in his room, he can do that at his house.
I definitely like to do more exploring than DH who always enjoys a little quiet time in the hotel. He’s not generally grumpy but he can’t stand being too hot for very long so there’s always a limit to how much sunny city sightseeing he will cheerfully manage. I’m fine doing things on my own but I will not be held hostage in a hotel room when there’s a shiny new city outside. Doing things separately is fine. Sulking is not.
You have made a trip. Make the most of it. Meet his grumpiness with cheerful resistance. Refuse to engage with this petulance and do your own thing. If he isn’t prepared to be a grown-up and talk about what’s bothering him, then refuse to notice that anything is bothering him. Don’t let this man-child drag you down.

landlordhell · 13/12/2025 19:06

You don’t live together so this is simple. Leave him. Life is too short. Good for you going out on your own!

LividArse · 13/12/2025 19:02

It's good that you don't live together.

Let this be the night you realise you're in control of your own future and you can make it in whatever shape you choose.

HoppityBun · 13/12/2025 19:01

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:14

No I’m not scared of him but it would just be less drama to stay

Show quote history

Apologies for being contradictory and I have only just read this response.

The plain fact of the matter is that no, OP, it would not be less drama to stay. In fact, it’s going to be permanent drama like this if you stay. You said that you don’t live with him, so end it. That will be the end of the drama and you can move on in peace. You have no need of this nonsense and it doesn’t appear much, being blunt, as though he wants you.. Nor do you have to be in any relationship. Find yourself.

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 19:00

Thank you everyone 🥰

OP posts:
EverybodyLTB · 13/12/2025 19:00

Jesus OP you’ve got one life. Just one, this is all finite in minutes, hours, energy, progress, love and enjoyment. All so bloody pointless to sit there getting bullied by a less than mediocre man, who brings nothing but misery to the table. Get out.

frostiesandfog · 13/12/2025 18:59

You’re doing the right thing OP, I would 100% take myself out for the evening then pack my bags with the intention of leaving tomorrow morning. In fact, I would be asking him to pack his bags and leave whilst I enjoyed the rest of my stay!

Meteorite87 · 13/12/2025 18:58

Him not finding any joy or even contentment on life doesn't make it ok for him to make you miserable.

I hope your evening is lovely and that you enjoy Christmas with some of your friends.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 13/12/2025 18:58

Sounds fun 💓
Enjoy yourself and think about what this means for what you want for yourself and your relationship

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/12/2025 18:58

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:51

So have cancelled first table. Have now booked a table in a jazz bar - I love a bit of jazz . Am able to eat there too 😊

FUN!

Have a great time.

Suzi9989I · 13/12/2025 18:56

Enjoy your evening OP. Jazz sounds fabulous

Fuzzymuddle33 · 13/12/2025 18:56

Unless he is unwell, he is being a nob.

Donttellempike · 13/12/2025 18:55

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:51

So have cancelled first table. Have now booked a table in a jazz bar - I love a bit of jazz . Am able to eat there too 😊

Excellent. Enjoy 😉

NorthFaceofthelaundrypile · 13/12/2025 18:54

I love that you’ve gone out and booked the thing that you would really love to do.
Have a fabulous evening of jazz!

Then give yourself the Christmas gift of dumping the joy vacuum!

CraftyPlayer · 13/12/2025 18:54

Hope he’s not expecting sex later! I’d have dinner and go home without him!

Original poster
bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:51

So have cancelled first table. Have now booked a table in a jazz bar - I love a bit of jazz . Am able to eat there too 😊

OP posts: