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AIBU?

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Original poster

We’re away for the weekend and DP is as grumpy as hell

212 replies

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:07

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

OP posts:
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researchers3 · 16/12/2025 19:34

HoppityBun · 13/12/2025 18:19

I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own.

Take a book, find some that looks welcoming and enjoy your meal. The only reason you’d feel awkward is because you’re not used to it, simple as that. Get used to it, because it sounds to me that your life would be much more rewarding and restful without this pain in the backside.

if you need any encouragement to eat on your own, then listen to Bill Nighy’s podcasts: he never eats at home and always eats out, much preferring to be on his own.

Edited

Love the sound of this podcast!

MsGinaLinetti · 15/12/2025 10:41

Sorry @Iwillcomeouttheotherend

Iwillcomeouttheotherend · 15/12/2025 09:04

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:07

Just that - he’s doesn’t want to do anything or go anywhere . We did go out for a bit today and he had a face like thunder. Im walking on eggshells the whole time - he’s so snappy. Whatever I suggest doing its a no. I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend - we planned it together. He’s just more and more like this with everything these days . We are in the hotel room now - have been back here since 3 pm (didn’t go out til nearly midday) and he’s asleep . I could go out to eat on my own later but tbh I’d feel a bit awkward sat somewhere eating on my own. It wasn’t what I had in mind ! I’m seriously thinking of just going home - I could bloody cry though. The fall out will be awful if I leave early 😢

My husband was so snappy and horrible.
Didn’t matter what I did or what I suggested, he was simple horrible and I just couldn’t fathom it.
Found out he was having an affair.

MissSold · 15/12/2025 06:57

Any update on this, OP? I’m so invested I finally created a username and commented. You deserve better than what you’re getting, but I suspect you know this. Your situation sounds very familiar. My advice would be get out whilst you can. And I don’t mean the hotel room.

pictoosh · 15/12/2025 05:24

changeme4this · 14/12/2025 23:09

By chance he isn’t one of those morons who thinks going away means spending every moment in bed having sex?

Did wonder this too. Some men do have fantastical ideas about weekends away being a shagfest for them.

ChaliceinWonderland · 15/12/2025 04:13

EverybodyLTB · 13/12/2025 19:00

Jesus OP you’ve got one life. Just one, this is all finite in minutes, hours, energy, progress, love and enjoyment. All so bloody pointless to sit there getting bullied by a less than mediocre man, who brings nothing but misery to the table. Get out.

This basically.

changeme4this · 14/12/2025 23:09

By chance he isn’t one of those morons who thinks going away means spending every moment in bed having sex?

Greenshed · 14/12/2025 22:38

Well, I’m glad you went out. However, I think, from what you have said, that you need to do some serious reassessment of your relationship with this man. You say you don’t live together, so you really don’t have any financial ties to untangle, I’m guessing? No children together? If that’s the case, then I think you need to seriously consider whether this man is worth spending the rest of your days with, or whether it’s time to cut your losses and wave him goodbye? Walking on eggshells is no way to live and it seems as if he is making you utterly miserable. However, you say he hasn’t always been like this, so ask yourself why has he changed, and since when? Can you pin point a time when things started to change, was there a trigger in his life? Then ask yourself if the relationship you’ve built together over the last 8 years worth salvaging or is he always going to make you feel unhappy. Only you can answer these questions and then reach a decision based on your answers, but whatever you decide, remember that you are the most important one here, your happiness and contentment is paramount.

lizzyBennet08 · 14/12/2025 22:16

Op. This is no way to live. He'll just drag you down to the dumps with him. You just see that sitting enjoys jazz on your own was more enjoyable than being 'together'
with him in the room,

Laurmolonlabe · 14/12/2025 22:00

Just go out and eat- it's not as if you will be missing sparkling company.
You need to have a serious talk with DP because there could be something serious behind this- he could be in trouble at work, or have other worries, he needs a good explanation, if he doesn't have one then you should be seriously considering whether you want your future to be with him.

Studyunder · 14/12/2025 21:52

Please update telling us you’ve dumped him. What is he adding to your life?

MissDoubleU · 14/12/2025 21:36

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 18:14

No I’m not scared of him but it would just be less drama to stay

Show quote history

Less drama? It sounds like your life is fucking miserable. How would leaving be less drama than your life partner throwing a tantrum every time he has to do a nice fun activity he helped plan?

You are absolutely kidding yourself on with that. You’re quite literally married to the drama. Get rid of it, you’ll never know peace and happiness like it.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 14/12/2025 21:15

Honk honk.
Sqeal, squeal.

The unmistakable sound of a male chauvinst, misongynist piggie.

Tell him to blow his mean comments up his arse and then leave him.

Get someone you can have fun and enjoy your life with.

X

August1980 · 14/12/2025 21:05

Op, are you married? Just think the drama will fall you home whether you leave early or not!
anywag just want to say you will be absolutely fine eating dinner and going out on your own! I used to begged kids! Example hubby will
drink too much the night before and couldn’t get up for breakfast I used to get up and have breakfast and then take myself to the pool/spa!

is DP not feeling well? Is he particularly tired? Only asking as I just said to my husband to remind me to take an iron tablets tomorrow I have no idea why but I am so exhausted wonder if it’s something going around…
anyway he doesn’t deserve you. Go out and make the most of your weekend away….

dcthatsme · 14/12/2025 19:57

If he wasn't like this in the past it does sound like he's struggling with something - depression perhaps. I'd try and have a chat with him to find out what's going on. I'm glad you managed to have a lovely evening out. Wishing you all the best.

NewAgeNewMe · 14/12/2025 19:31

Hope you are ok.

Wrenjay · 14/12/2025 19:16

I have eaten in many countries alone. Asked to sit facing people, sometimes I get in conversation with other singles, couples, groups, lovely. I really love it. Jazz or any music places are great. Have a great time on by yourself and meeting other like minded people.

FinallyHere · 14/12/2025 18:30

@Notmyrealitythey are not married

OP refers to DP

Heyhoitsme · 14/12/2025 18:30

You don't live together so I would consider finishing the relationship when you get home. Have your meal tonight and try and enjoy it. Life is too short to be with a grumpy partner.

Skyview7 · 14/12/2025 17:52

Oh OP,
Some of us have experienced this...he is bringing you down because he wants you to feel the misery of the level he's on. Furthermore, if he can achieve that and get you there, he can control you, yank your chain, and feel powerful whilst doing it.
You are clearly a thoughtful, caring individual who wants things to be lovely; the perfect fit for a coercive controller.
In reaching out here on MN, you maybe know you're at a fork in the road: there are better routes/outcomes other than the deadend hell hole he's dragging you down into.
Life is hard enough without this! You should be cherished, not treated like this.
I truly wish you well.

PersephonePomegranate · 14/12/2025 17:06

Only just seen this thread come up, but so glad you went out and did something fun, OP!

You're not the one 'playing at' anything. What kind of controlling, rude, man-child behaves like that?!

I hope your lovely evening meeting some interesting peole has reminded you that there are good people out there and how much fun your life could be without that miserable baggage!

Sarah2891 · 14/12/2025 17:05

Dump him. Life's too short for this BS.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 14/12/2025 17:01

bagpuss90 · 13/12/2025 23:13

I’ve had a lovely evening- got chatting to some really lovely interesting people. Got some angry texts from DP asking wtf I was playing at. Back at the hotel now and guess what he’s fast asleep. So glad I went out - thanks again for all your support 🥰

Hopefully the fact you now know because of those messages that didnt just want to stay in, he also wanted to ruin your weekend, will be all you need to leave.

Wheresthebeach · 14/12/2025 14:30

Get out now before you waste any more time on him.

Greenwitchart · 14/12/2025 14:29

OP, go out on your own and when you get back home, dump him.

You don't leave together so that makes it easier.