To wonder if this is normal mum life (6 month old)?

Do you have a partner OP? If so, make sure they have the baby in the evening and prep for the next day. Get clothes out, I used to make myself a packed lunch, packed snacks, bottle of drink etc. Refill nappy bag. Shower and dress in the morning before they leave for work.

If friends or family offer help, take it! Mine used to offer to clean or whatever, I used to hand them the baby and clean myself

I had one clingy that cried and one that wasn't and didn't. There was NO changing the clingy one and honestly felt like my heart was being pulled out so just didn't put him down. Its not forever.

@BethymumNo, no medical issues. She just gradually grew out of the constant crying as she got older. At 7 she's healthy, caring, creative, popular with her peers, fantastic big sister to her siblings. She does however remain a very emotional and sensitive child. I think it's just her personality...takes after me! I was also a baby who cried relentlessly apparently!

All 3 of mine were like this and it was only as they got older that we realised they had inherited allergies from DH that he didn't fully know that he had at that point.

I obviously didn't have any of the allergies and was exclusively breastfeeding them all, and regularly eating everything they were allergic to.

We were actually talking about how allergy belly feels to them yesterday, they said it almost feels like very bad hunger pangs, so I imagine that's what it felt like when they were babies too.

They cried constantly, never slept properly, my house was a tip, I couldn't keep up with the laundry and I just felt like I was failing all of the time because they needed so much comforting and attention.

This is what society does - makes out only the newborn days are when you will be in the trenches but actually it’s everything else particularly like you say 6 months when they go through the object permenance stage and realise you’ve gone out the room and scream so yes what you’re going through is normal! The newborn stage is the easiest imo!

What I do -

• get up earlier to shower dress have breakfast exercise etc
• Toys in high chair while cooking / doing things
• bouncer or mat with toys while doing things - can do this in bathroom if you need to shower
• try and get into some form of nap routine so you get some time to sit down with a brew / do things

Totally normal. It is SO hard initially. I found it hard until my kids got to about 3 if in honest, but the problems kind of change as you go along.

This sounds wild, but hear me out .. having a 2nd kid really changes things. I feel like with the first, you still cling on to your old life. You still miss it and wish you had the time to do the things you used to do. You have the 2nd and then fully accept your old life is over. You accept you have no time to do anything, you don’t have time to clean the house etc and I just accepted it and slept when the baby slept etc instead of trying to do it all. It’s not possible to do it all.

I’ve just had my 3rd and totally given up on achieving anything other than keeping everyone alive!

It does get easier though. My older 2 are 5 and 8 and it’s a piece of piss compared to when they were younger.

Vitamins and supplements are saving me! Check with your GP of course and make sure you don't have doses too high but each day I take ashweganda (prevents anxiety), magnesium (energy and calm), zinc (immune system), pregnancy vitamin, iron (prevent maternal depletion syndrome), calcium (vital since you've cut out dairy), vitamin D (helps absorb calcium, gives energy, helps immunity).

I bought a dosette box with 14 compartments in amazon, so once every 2 weeks I fill up the dosette box again when I have a quiet moment. That way I just take the supplements from one compartment each day with a meal.

Apparently iron is really effective for postpartum mums to prevent fatigue.

And since you've cut out dairy like me, the calcium and vitamin D (to help you absorb the calcium) are really important, especially now it's winter!

But of course check with your GP because it's not great for your kidneys to be on so many supplements forever, but while breastfeeding (which takes a huge toll on your micronutrients) I'm noticing a huge difference

@JustMe2026 good heavens, have you really got six month old twins plus a fifteen month old toddler?

Argh.

Just put mine down and had a playpen.
One was a calmer content baby, the other less so but I just wasn’t going to carry them all the time.

When I was very young I saw a cartoon in Punch and it was of a massive baby sat on throne, crown on it head with its parents prostrating themselves at its feet. That image stuck with me. I could tell the very different cries mine had.

Unless you want a really clingy baby you need to step back a little...I mean for all our olders I never felt like this, they knew when mummy puts you down then entertain yourself for a few minutes while I eat or wash etc..now our youngest are twin 6months and a 15 month old and same they are all bf tho 15 month less so now but ye down they go on play mats or into there swing chairs while I plod about doing whatever. Only cry first time then realise it won't get a carry every second lol

For breastfed babies this is normal. Well done though, I’m in awe of women who breastfeed for the full 6 months. 4 months was the longest I’ve gone, then 3 months, due my 3rd (and my last) and will give it everything to try! I also had a CMPA baby and going dairy free would have been impossible if my DH wasn’t home to do all the cooking.

I don’t know what it is - maybe the bonding/attachment side of feeding, or that they’re full and content, but whenever I moved onto formula it just became easy. 4 hourly 10 min feeds and very happy to be in the bouncer or playmat all day! As opposed to CONSTANT feeding and needing to be held which is exhausting. You just can’t leave the house or do anything. You’re amazing and it’ll get better when they’re weaned.

This sounds normal to me, but you quickly learn you don't need to be holding/entertaining baby 24/7.

When mine was that tiny, I used to pop her on her play mat, and just sit on the floor next to her with a cuppa and a sandwich. Gives you five minutes peace to eat something, and they get to have a practice at rolling around, building strength ready to crawl, play with some toys, etc. Or if you're BLW it's a great idea to eat sat in front of baby when they eat, so they can learn from you.

You don't need to feel guilty, it's actually good for their development to learn to play alone and entertain themselves. A little playpen or travel cot downstairs is also very helpful if you need to nip to the loo, grab a drink, tidy up around baby and still keep an eye on them!

Re CMPA, I also breastfed and my baby was very allergic to dairy, soy and eggs so i was on quite a restricted diet from about 8 weeks. Put in the effort to get used to the new diet and you'll be fine. Get good olive oil and coconut oil im the house. Oatmilk is better than other veggie milks. Rope Dh in for help, prep some meals.

Once you look into it, there really are a lot of dairy free foods out there.

And careful when weaning, a random teaspoon of yogurt landed us in hospital as baby couldn't stop vomiting.

I don't think it's normal to be so pushed for time that you can't eat and lose weight.

Does he nap during the day?

Remember that it's fine for him to cry because he's not being held/entertained all the time. Don't leave him crying from hunger or fear or a dirty nappy or anything, but if he's fine when you're holding him and cries when put down then there is nothing wrong with him. He just prefers being held and that's fine, but not to the extent that you get ill/have a breakdown/die. The consequences of that are far worse than grumbling for ten minutes while you eat a sandwich.

The best thing you can do for your child is look after your physical and mental health. It's like on a plane, put your mask on first.

You're doing a great job, youre taking care of your child, checking out allergies. Not easy, but you're a great parent

Sending you so much support and recognition.

My first was exactly like this. I was convinced I was a shit mum because I was finding it harder than other people. Now I have my second and have realised just how difficult my first was. And that I'm not a terrible mum. It is genuinely easier having two now than it was having him as an under 1. Chances are its not you its the baby you have.

He's the most adorable three year old now.

Sounds totally normal. Mine are 7, 4 and 1 and the 'constantly rushing' feeling has been my life for over 7yrs now tbh. The older two are a lot more independent now of course but the 1yo is still super needy, also mobile and just cnt be left anyway unless contained and then usually screams blue murder. But yes I did leave all my children for a few mins here or there to shower, get dressed, make a sandwich or hot drink and eat and drink them, yes, if I had to. I don't like to and I'd try to avoid it but sometimes it's unavoidable. I wouldn't miss a meal or get a headache from being dehydrated or skip going out somewhere (which is what lack of getting dressed or whatever would lead to) just to avoid a few mins crying much as I'd hate to listen to it. The baby will be absolutely fine afterwards once comforted.

My DC1 cried most of the time anyway tbh until they were about 1. DC2 was the easiest one of the three. DC3 in between but on the flip side the worst sleeper and would often scream hysterically for hours and hours at night, still does sometimes. So yeah I know what that's all like too. That all does get easier as they age.

I went back to work 2 days per week at 5 months. It means I can drink a coffee in peace with adult company! For me it got easier when he could crawl at 6 months because he was less frustrated. Meals are still mostly toast. I take him with me to the shower in his highchair and we walk to the shop every day for some fresh air.

Mine was like this. I lost a lot of weight too. Eventually I was able to have a shower with them in a little laundry bowl thing right beside me, getting wet too. Also eventually they started to watch television so that allowed me to maybe do a little bit of tidying, or put some laundry on/hang it out/fold it up - but like you, I had to do everything all in a rush. Their dad worked nights and slept all day, so no help there. It was really, really hard. I now suspect my child may have ADHD or ADD which is why they wanted/needed my attention constantly. And I mean constantly.

I think this totally depends on the baby though. DD was very hard work, she wouldn't just cry a little like some babies it was full in distress and tears. No way could I just leave her to cry, even my NCT friends where surprised when they first sore her cry.

Consequently we didn't bond as a group as I just didn't feel they new what I was having to cope with. OP read DrSears, The fusy baby book, after I read that it made so much more sense. And I also found a group of mums who seemed to understand what I was going through.

Oddly enough she didn't put us off having a second baby and DS was so much more relaxed as a baby he seemed easy in comparison. We probably did have a slight bigger age gap then I'd first thought though due to how little DD slept.

The whole first year is pretty tough going. As time goes on you'll have more good moments than hard ones.

I've never left my children to cry, that would've had a significant negative impact on my stress levels. I appreciate that it works for some families, but it's not a failure if you choose not to do that.

Do you have a partner or anyone who supports you at home? I found it easier to shower/get dressed when DH was home and could watch the baby. He also used to make me a meal or a sandwich and leave it in the fridge before he went to work.

Is baby mobile yet? They don't play independently for quite a while yet but when I found the rolling/crawling started, I could sit on a chair for a bit while they practiced that.

On the hair loss, I went to the GP for blood tests around 5-6 months postpartum as my hair was falling out in clumps and I just felt horrendous. Turned out I had an iron and vitamin D deficiency and taking supplements (you can get them at the supermarket) - on top of my breastfeeding vitamins - made a massive difference really quickly.

Finally, I know (because I've had friends telling me) that to the outside world I look like I've got everything under control - the reality is I am also frazzled, I just don't go out unless I feel fully prepared! So please don't feel like you can't speak to your friends about how you're feeling. It's totally normal.

I just left mine to cry if I needed to eat or get dressed. Im not allowing a baby to run my life for me. He's 42 now and is just fine.

Sounds very similar to my experience. It could be that your little one is about to get his first tooth, could be developmental, could be temperament. I find it comes and goes. Little one is 20 months and I do find it gets easier and harder all the time, in different ways 🤣

make sure you’re fully dosed up on vitamin D, iron m, omega 3 for the skin and hair and general wellbeing. Breastfeeding really takes it out of you. I looked on the packet of my multivitamin and it hardly contained anything! So def double check.

my last tip, learning how to put baby on my back in a soft structured buckle carrier - game changer. I could stick him up there for 45-1hr and potter around the house. Even just put my headphones on and an audiobook for 20 mins. He was happy, I could sort of tidy for a bit, I was hands free.

There is absolutely nothing happy about eating while your baby is crying. I know MN advises this a lot but I felt physically sick when my baby was crying. 1-2 minutes, fine. 10 minutes or long enough to eat a meal? I'd probably vomit it all out from stress.

Also, I also had a CMPA baby. Until we sorted out his allergy, he screamed for HOURS. Evenings especially from 6pm - midnight. Hours. Never happy in the day either. Upset during and after feeds. It's nothing like having a normal baby.