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Original poster

To dump DP after what happened last night

284 replies

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

OP posts:
Miiaaoow · 13/12/2025 16:36

I would tell him to get in the car right away so you can report the drink spiking. In fact I would absolutely insist on it as drugs only show up on tests for a short time and we would definitely want to catch the evil drink spiker wouldn’t we?!

Seriously though, I would end it. It’s not just the clear unhealthy relationship with alcohol (which will only ever get worse) but the complete lack of accountability is unacceptable. I’m guessing nothing is his fault and he rarely apologises for things. We get one life, don’t waste it with a man like that.

schoolfriend · 13/12/2025 16:35

Well I guess it depends how much you like him and what his attitude is to addressing his alcohol issues. He clearly has a problem. Any grown up (ie not teenager who doesn’t know their limits) who gets in that state has some form of alcohol misuse disorder. You don’t need to be the classic ‘alcoholic’ who gets up and start drinking for alcohol to be an issue in your life that needs addressing.

If you feel inclined this could talk to him about behaviour and see if he is open to addressing it (probably means stopping drinking altogether). Equally if that’s not something you want to get involved in, it’s perfectly acceptable to leave him to it

ETA - he’s embarrassed, which is why he’s saying he’s been spiked. If you do want to stick around and support him, don’t shame him, it won’t help. But as I say, it’s perfectly acceptable to leave; this isn’t your problem to fix.

Wolverhamptonwanderer · 13/12/2025 16:34

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

Leave him. And I rarely say that on the LTB type posts.

I was with someone like this for most of my 20s. He eventually dumped me. And I thank god every day that he did. I honestly don’t know what I was doing staying with him for so long. It was the most boring and humiliating time of my life, never being able to go and have a nice evening out, or the odd drink, without him doing something totally embarrassing.

Your time and your life are worth more than having to sort out his pathetic behaviour.

Redpeach · 13/12/2025 16:32

Why would he be spiked? For whose benefit?

Shatteredallthetimelately · 13/12/2025 16:32

No one on here can tell you if his drink had been spiked or not, only what they want you to believe from their perspective.

It's irrelevant though as you say it's not the first time you've had doubts about his behaviour after having a drink, so this should just add to those and help you come to a decision as to whether this is what you want from a relationship.

While there's nothing wrong with having a drink and letting your hair down there's everything wrong in not knowing when to call it a day and stop.

CandyCaneKisses · 13/12/2025 16:31

Does he not get out much?

ThisOldThang · 13/12/2025 16:31

Muffsies · 13/12/2025 16:29

Random people get spiked all the time. I know a very nice couple who both got spiked when they went on a rare night out, they were both behaving very strange and barely made it home after a couple of drinks in the pub. It can happen to anyone and there was a spate of spiking middle-aged people around my area, presumably someone found it funny.

Having said that, I doubt if he was spiked as he had been drinking for several hours on an empty stomach.. it's not much of a mystery.

Show quote history

A female friend was spiked in a pub last Christmas. We were all sat as a group, so there was no way the (presumably random) spiker was going to be able to take advantage of her. It was very odd.

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 13/12/2025 16:31

It’s possible his drink was spiked, I guess.

Muffsies · 13/12/2025 16:29

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 13/12/2025 15:38

Who the hell would spike him. He’s just ashamed.

Random people get spiked all the time. I know a very nice couple who both got spiked when they went on a rare night out, they were both behaving very strange and barely made it home after a couple of drinks in the pub. It can happen to anyone and there was a spate of spiking middle-aged people around my area, presumably someone found it funny.

Having said that, I doubt if he was spiked as he had been drinking for several hours on an empty stomach.. it's not much of a mystery.

Eudaimonia11 · 13/12/2025 16:27

I’d be too embarrassed by him to stay with him after that. He humiliated himself in front of work colleagues, it shows he has no boundaries or self respect at all. Sure, they all had too much to drink but it sounds like the others were at least in control of their bodily functions. I bet they all feel sorry for you being in a relationship with a man who gets himself into such a shocking state. A grown man vomiting down himself from drinking, he’s like a teenager after their first ever night out. It’s so cringe!

Make him paint your piss stained wall and get him to order your coffee table. As soon as that’s delivered, tell him you can’t be with him anymore as he’s too embarrassing.

You’ve only been with him 2 years, better to get rid of him now and then start dating in the new year.

I am harsh but come on, he’s a grown man! Who does that?! And then all the pressuring you for sex just makes me want to throw up. He’s gross! Get a different one, a sexy man who isn’t going to show himself or you up.

ThisOldThang · 13/12/2025 16:26

thepariscrimefiles · 13/12/2025 16:08

I agree. For some reason, even really pissed women don't tend to lose control of their bodily functions.

Show quote history

I know a woman that had to be picked up by her husband, with their 6 year old twins in the car, from a bus stop where she'd pissed herself.

krusovice · 13/12/2025 16:23

When you say pestering for sex was it relentless badgering or drunken rambling - did he take no for an answer or argue/strop about it? That would influence me. The drunken behaviour I could excuse with annoyance, but the pissing on the floor I'd be furious with so would depend how repentant and mortified he was to be honest. And the spiking concern may be genuine in terms of him not understanding how he could be so drunk as to behave like that rather than an out and out lie? Only you know him well enough to suggest if it's and underhand tactic or he really thinks it happened.

FrivolousKitchenRollUse · 13/12/2025 16:20

I think combining the facts that you don't live together and have no kids with the fact this isn't a first offence you'd be more than entitled to end it. Sounds like he has a problem with not knowing when he's had enough and more importantly no plans to address it.

MonGrainDeSel · 13/12/2025 16:19

When someone I know was spiked they could not remember a single thing that happened from the point the drug took effect until the following morning. Does he know what happened last night?

Cabinqueen · 13/12/2025 16:19

diddl · 13/12/2025 16:12

You should have taken him back to his own place to puke & piss in!

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. However I completely agree... Lesson learned I think.

AInightingale · 13/12/2025 16:19

Bet his ex wife/partner would have some interesting tales to tell too. If you don't live together, you have no idea of the extent of his drinking.

springintoaction2 · 13/12/2025 16:17

muggart · 13/12/2025 15:30

no, no way would i end an otherwise happy marriage because my DH had too much to drink as a one off. what an overreaction.

My husband has had too much to drink on occasion - but not on the scale the OP has described. Never in 27 years of marriage.

She is not over reacting 🙄

ChristmasinBrighton · 13/12/2025 16:17

I would send him home and take his key. Revolting behaviour.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 13/12/2025 16:17

My now exH was like this. I thought it would get better, but he got worse. I divorced him. I now have a real aversion to drinkers. And drunk people are boring as fuck.

Your DPs attitude after that is appalling, and so is the state he got into. If it's not the first time, then I would be having a hard think.

Dweetfidilove · 13/12/2025 16:16

Picking up my lover who's covered in his own drunken sick always gets me going 🙄. Yuck!

Surely you've seen enough to throw this one back, OP.

MySilentLions · 13/12/2025 16:13

muggart · 13/12/2025 15:30

no, no way would i end an otherwise happy marriage because my DH had too much to drink as a one off. what an overreaction.

He’s a DP not a DH.

Happyjoe · 13/12/2025 16:13

Not the blind drunkness that is an issue if happens rarely, it's his lack of apology and the nasty about not sleeping with him. What awful behaviour and attitude to have, my goodness.

And... even had you wanted to, someone covered in sick, stinking and pissing in the room is really not a turn on ffs.

Louiseb85 · 13/12/2025 16:12

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

That would give me the ick big time. Make him pay for damages and clean up then put him in the bin

Sorry meant to quote op

diddl · 13/12/2025 16:12

You should have taken him back to his own place to puke & piss in!

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 13/12/2025 16:10

Be busy a lot until he pays for a new table and carpet cleaning, then dump him.