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Original poster

To dump DP after what happened last night

284 replies

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

OP posts:
MrsLizzieDarcy · 13/12/2025 18:56

I got drunk like that in my teenage years, not as an adult and a parent.

There's something seriously grim about a grown man pissing on your carpet.

TheHillIsMine · 13/12/2025 18:51

I'd dump him

wish I'd dumped my nice boyfriend who turned up at my flat after his works do having thrown up in the taxi.

CosyPandas · 13/12/2025 18:48

Even if he had been spiked his behaviour and attitude towards you are his own. Do you really want to live like this?

MannersAreAll · 13/12/2025 18:41

His reaction this morning says it all imo, I would end a relationship for that.

My DH got hideously drunk once 20+ years ago. I had to collect him. He was sick in my car and sick again in my bathroom. He was also pretty rude. The difference is the next morning he was absolutely mortified. He couldn't stop apologising and within an hour of being awake he'd organised a professional cleaner for my car and bathroom (after cleaning it up himself but wanting to be sure there was going to be no lingering smell). He's also never touched alcohol since.

The pestering for sex and sulking over not getting it is disgusting - not a chance I would stand for that.

Meteorite87 · 13/12/2025 18:41

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:43

He has his own house, but stays with me a lot too at mine. So don’t officially live together but spend a lot of time here.

Show quote history

Well that will make going NC easier.

Is he out of your home now?

AlltheJs · 13/12/2025 18:37

Dump him ASAP.

Megifer · 13/12/2025 18:30

Spiked my arse. His disgusting behaviour this morning proves thats a load of rubbish. If this was my DP he'd have been binned by 12pm and we've been together 20+ years and have 2 DC.

Sometimessmiling · 13/12/2025 18:27

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

Get rid what disgusting behaviour. How repulsive

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/12/2025 18:27

muggart · 13/12/2025 15:30

no, no way would i end an otherwise happy marriage because my DH had too much to drink as a one off. what an overreaction.

You would stay with someone who drank eight hours straight without eating?
Who vomited over himself and had to be collected by his girlfriend as if she was his mother?
Who broke a table?
Who pestered her for sex while he was in this state?
Who pissed in the corner of the room at his girlfriend’s house?

People talk about raising the bar: you don’t have a bar to raise.

No wonder this board is full of people dragged down by awful men if the standards are this low…

MissDoubleU · 13/12/2025 18:25

The way he pestered you for sex and expected you to satisfy him (with sick breath and having pissed on your carpet) has nothing to do with being spiked, if he was. Which he wasn’t - he just wants to get away with the behaviour as he has severely embarrassed himself.

I don’t think anything he could’ve spiked with would make him behave like this more than his drinking for hours after no food. It’s just drink. It was his choice to get into that state. Dump him.

BabyHairs · 13/12/2025 18:25

muggart · 13/12/2025 15:30

no, no way would i end an otherwise happy marriage because my DH had too much to drink as a one off. what an overreaction.

Op said he got funny with her because she didn’t ‘see to him’ sexually. No, no way would I ever stay with someone like that.

Beentheredonethat98 · 13/12/2025 18:24

Every time I read a thread like this, I wonder what it is that makes some women set the bar so low.

TFImBackIn · 13/12/2025 18:23

Raise your standards a hell of a lot higher than a man who drinks so much he vomits all over himself, can't get a cab home and pees in your spare room.

As for him being spiked - why would anyone pay to spike him? What would be in it for them, eh?

EndlessHolidayWashing · 13/12/2025 18:22

I suppose the question would be- why would someone spike his drink? Anyone spiking drinks is either looking to commit sexual offences or rob the person, and they would chose their victims where they can easily get them alone to commit said acts.

From the sounds of it your DP was with friends/colleagues all day/night right up until you were called. He is an unlikely targeting for random predatory spiking (unless it was a colleague, which I'm not saying never happens, but how likely is that?)

If he was drinking from 2 until 10 on an empty stomach I'm not surprised he was in the state he was in.

If he is serious about the spiking he needs to go to the Police today to make a report and get a blood test (hospital won't do it without police referral). If he is using this as an excuse for his behaviour he will go and get a test, don't let him fob you off with 'oh I was spiked' but he won't go and get any actual proof.

THisbackwithavengeance · 13/12/2025 18:22

Well it depends doesn’t it on whether this was a completely unprecedented one off or whether he likes his drink and this is a regular or semi regular event.

Most of us have disgraced ourselves with drink one time or another.

But if you’re the kind of person who can’t take your drink and you become nasty and lose control of bodily functions then you need to quit alcohol.

It’s not impossible that he’s been spiked. I don’t think we would disbelieve a woman would we?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/12/2025 18:21

What alcohol or drug turns a decent person into a coercive sex pest that still has a strop about not being serviced the following morning? None.

It's a fundamental part of his character that just isn't being held back anymore (whether that's because it's genuinely obliterated any impulse control or whether it's being used as an excuse is irrelevant). The coercion, verbal aggression and entitlement was there all the time.

Throwaway65131 · 13/12/2025 18:21

muggart · 13/12/2025 15:30

no, no way would i end an otherwise happy marriage because my DH had too much to drink as a one off. what an overreaction.

Even though he has in essence shown absolutely zero respect for her or her property, made vile comments to her about not doing sexual things for him, lied about not making it to the toilet then damaged her house by urinating in the corner, and has made absolutely no attempts according to this report to apologise for his behaviour the night before - instead he actually doubled down on it by making the comment about having to sort himself out and lock himself in the bathroom! You think she is overreacting not putting up being treated in such a manner? Seriously?

sidebirds · 13/12/2025 18:21

He's clearly a keeper 🤔

itsgettingweird · 13/12/2025 18:21

LiftAndLetLift · 13/12/2025 15:30

Of course he's lying about being spiked.

If he's usually a wonderful, caring, fantastic partner and never given you a moment of hurt then I'd forgive.

If it's the latest in a string of selfish behaviours, I'd dump.

This.

If it really was out of character and he’s mortified and sorry I’d accept it.

Happened again ….. it would be goodbye from me.

Sassylovesbooks · 13/12/2025 18:20

I doubt very much your partner has his drink spiked, it's highly likely that drinking from 2 pm on an empty stomach was the cause! Of course men can have their drink spiked, just as women can. Given that your partner doesn't appear to have a 'stop' button, and drinks to excessive, then I'd be very wary. Yes, occasionally we all have one too many and get drunk, but your description gives the impression that he's ended up in this state a few times since you've been dating. Meeting your friend and her husband, even allowing for nerves, he then gets blotto, it's hardly going to show him in the best light. Once he starts drinking, all common sense goes out the window and he's incapable of stopping - that's a red flag as far as I'm concerned. It's someone who has the potential (if not already) to become an alcoholic. The fact you had to pick up a sick covered, drunk, talking gibberish is bad enough but then he broke your table and pissed in the corner of your lounge. This morning he seemed to think that you'd be up for sex....and made some pathetic excuse that his drink had been spiked to justify his behaviour!! You need to end the relationship, because I think this behaviour will become the normal.

Rockschooldropout · 13/12/2025 18:19

Things will only get worse , My ex partner had form for going on benders like this . The first time he stayed at mine ten years ago on New Years Eve , he got blotto then accused me of ignoring him all evening then pissed in my bed . And blamed me !
I stupidly stayed with the POS for two years due before walking away after one of his drunken rages. Thank fully he lived two hours from me and we were too old to share children . .
apparently he’s getting married at last (we are in our fifties ) I feel nothing but sympathy for his poor wife to to be .
Even if he had been spiked (and I’m the pope.. 🙄) his behaviour the next morning is disgusting

Apocketfilledwithposies · 13/12/2025 18:17

Dump him

Tuesdayschild50 · 13/12/2025 18:15

Op don't stay in this relationship set the bar much higher than this.
Pissed on the floor and been sick coffee table smashed.
Imagine life with him ... tell him it's done x

Laura95167 · 13/12/2025 18:14

Spiking would have probably seen him "unconscious" not furiously wanking because he was huffy.

I hope he cleaned the piss and sick, and fixed the table... but I suspect not?

Scorchio84 · 13/12/2025 18:12

i think lots of people have sailed past their limits at least once in their lives

@Bhbhhnhnvvghk You're right, I know I have, more than once over the years but I've never pissed in someone's sitting room, smashed a table, vomited all over myself, had colleagues having to send out the Bat signal AND then pestered my OH for sex that night AND the next morning.. there's being embarrassingly drunk & well...