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Original poster

To dump DP after what happened last night

284 replies

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:26

NC’d for this. There have been some minor flags around my DP’s drinking in the past but nothing like what happened last night.

DP was on his work do in town and I was expecting him home late. I got a call about 10pm as I was getting ready for bed and it was from his phone - but when I answered it wasn’t him. It was a colleague who told me I’d need to come and pick him up because taxi’s were refusing to take him because he was covered in sick.

I went to get him, he had to be helped into my car by two colleagues propping him up. He was smashed, had been drinking since 2 on an empty stomach and was an absolute mess with sick all down his jeans.

On the drive back he was barely making sense, he kept saying he wanted to have sex and was turned on. I got him in the house after telling him to take his clothes off in the porch and set up bedding on the sofa (I’ve got a spare room but it’s an office and no bed) and left him to go to sleep.

I heard a load of crashing two hours later, he had fallen over into my coffee table (it collapsed) when walking in the dark. He then told me he had not made it to the bathroom in time and had pissed in the corner of the living room. Bullshit because the bathroom is in the other direction.

This morning he still seemed drunk and got funny with me for not ‘seeing to him’ sexually and then said he’d sort himself out and locked himself in the bathroom for ages.

He has finally sobered up this afternoon and claims he was spiked and is going to make a report to the police.

I am 99% sure that didn’t happen but does anyone think there’s any chance that’s true? I’ve never known him to get that drunk.

OP posts:
custardcreme77 · 14/12/2025 02:36

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 15:43

He has his own house, but stays with me a lot too at mine. So don’t officially live together but spend a lot of time here.

Show quote history

You should have taken him to his own home after you picked him up.

Let him pee up his own walls and trash his furniture! Yuck!

mummytrex · 14/12/2025 01:19

Run for the hills.

His shittiness re you not meeting his sexual wants - I mean how could you resist BlushHmm - is unacceptable.

He clearly used the "I was spiked" to manipulate you into accepting his diabolical behaviour. If he believed it he wouldn't have freaked out.

As others have said sounds like he was doing drugs willingly if he is worried about being tested as well as drinking too much.

You deserve better. Life is too short for these sort of antics and anyone that will wee in your house. Vile. I've honestly only ever read about such madness as weeing in living rooms etc on Mumsnet. It really isn't normal or acceptable.

BauhausOfEliott · 14/12/2025 00:52

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

He drank for eight hours on an empty stomach while off his tits on cocaine, then. What a prick.

JFDIYOLO · 14/12/2025 00:47

He was doing drugs too, wasn't he. Hence the reaction to your suggestion he should go to the police.

How old are you both, op? Is this repeated behaviour?

The bit about him sulking over you not sorting him out while was covered in puke ... 😬

You say he has kids and it luckily wasn't his weekend with them. Do you know the ex? I'd suggest a coffee and a chat with her. She may be able to add context, her own examples of his behaviour. But she needs to know if she doesn't already what he's capable of doing - and might do around their children.

I'd pull back a bit. Does he make assumptions that he can come round when he wants? Is he angling to move in?

Franjipanl8r · 13/12/2025 23:41

I got at drunk as that at a work Xmas party once. The problem was my wine was being constantly topped up by others so I had no idea how much I was actually drinking.

My partner at the time had to come and get me in a hire car (taxis wouldn’t take me) and we didn’t own a car. I was mid 20s.

I wouldn’t do it now aged 40 but wouldn’t dump my partner if he did the same because I’ve been there and know it can happen.

Alessi · 13/12/2025 23:37

Run!

Muffsies · 13/12/2025 23:37

QuirkyMoose · 13/12/2025 19:42

I don't know if anyone actually answered your question about whether or not the drink was spiked. I would be interested, because I know clinically what symptoms to expect from a date rape drug that is put into a drink, and his symptoms are not what the internet says.
I guess it could have been something else, some other type of substance, but I'm just curious.
Sounds like he was massively drunk, puking is a part of that. Smashing into things, going on about how horny he is, and not using a bathroom properly. All those things are definitely experiences of an over drunk person I know these symptoms well enough, but I'm unfamiliar with how drugs make it into the equation and I was just wondering myself...

There was a spate of people spiking drinks with ketamine in my town. Spiking isn't always done for "date rape", some arseholes are doing it just for the funzies.

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 13/12/2025 23:33

It gets no better. Bin him off and don’t look back.

outerspacepotato · 13/12/2025 23:32

So he's been taking illegal drugs that would show up on a toxic screen.

He's a liar as well as sexually coercive and has problems with binge drinking and drug use. Tell him he has to replace the broken table and pay for a professional clean of the rooms he vomited and pissed in.

You're only two years in. Toss this one back. He will not improve your life.

TokyoSushi · 13/12/2025 23:31

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

Ah, there you go, definitely end it.

ChaliceinWonderland · 13/12/2025 23:31

I just feel sad for you that you even need to ask. Put boundaries in place. He is a waste of your time and effort.
Single life without him will BE SO much better. Please, you know what you have to do.

Pissing in your lounge and you have to ask ? Come on. Have some self respect.

TokyoSushi · 13/12/2025 23:30

Absolutely grim.

If this was a once in 10 years or so situation then maybe you could get past it, but 2 years, assuming you don’t live together(?) and previous form, then I’d leave.

MooDengOfThailand · 13/12/2025 23:27

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

I take it that he was doing coke.

MooDengOfThailand · 13/12/2025 23:25

What a prize.
A man who can't manage his drink - and with a clatter of step kids in tow.

Do yourself a favour and get rid for 2026.
Right after he's got you a new coffee table.

CornishTiger · 13/12/2025 23:23

Get the replacement items and carpet cleaned at his expense. Get the walls painted. He can do that tomorrow.

Then dump mid week after coffee table ordered.

Yuk.

SpinningaCompass · 13/12/2025 22:36

He wasn't spiked.

He's another arsehole who thinks alcohol is an excuse to behave poorly and it excuses all kinds of absolutely unacceptable behaviour. Like pissing in the corner of your living room and lying about it. Did he have the decency to thoroughly clean up his mess?

I used to be shocked when I saw stories like yours on MN about men getting drunk and then pissing freely in the house (on furniture, in corners, in cupboards, etc), but then I went to a comedy night out a month ago. The comedian said he'd done this himself! And then asked how many men in the room had done the same. Half a dozen hands went up! I just can't help wondering what the fuck is wrong with men. Women don't do this. They just don't.

Ohduckie · 13/12/2025 22:19

I saw this exact post around this time last year 🙄

Bamfram · 13/12/2025 22:17

Well done.
His drink wasn't spike.
What scum, with children.
Poor kids with suchba disgusting loser for a father.

Drug taking drunk vomiting on himself and a sex pest to boot.
What a horror.

Stick your key in the door so he can't get back in.
He's a total waster.

Mamascoven · 13/12/2025 22:14

Jesus christ this is the biggest ick ever. Get rid.

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/12/2025 22:09

Yeah he’s been doing drugs as well as boozing. Which is why he doesn’t want to report.

So on top of the rest of it he is also a proven liar and probably uses coke.

If you wanted an extra something to throw into the pot of awfulness you have it.

Philandbill · 13/12/2025 22:06

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

Would you consider changing the locks so he can't come back? It's good that you don't live with him. What a grim situation OP.

Littlejellyuk · 13/12/2025 22:02

Relationshipover2 · 13/12/2025 21:26

I’ve called his bluff re. the spiking by telling him if he didn’t report it then I will. He was very animated tellling me not not to do this and said he’d be in trouble if he had a blood test. He then refused to elaborate.

I told him to leave which he did so he’s gone back to his own house whilst I’m stewing on the sofa with a bottle of wine.

RUN.
He has shown you his true colours 🤢
No good can come from his antics. 👎
He's a man child who lacks responsibility and this is just the beginning. 😨
Please don't have children to this man 🙏
@Relationshipover2

TheatricalLife · 13/12/2025 21:51

Well there you go. Not only is he an awful drunk and a bloody liar, he's also a drug taker. Top it off with sulking because you wouldn't "service" his revolting, pukey body, it's really a no brainer isn't it.

newbie202020 · 13/12/2025 21:49

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 13/12/2025 21:30

He doesn't want a blood test because he was doing lines in the toilets hence it all resulted in him getting wasted

Was just coming on to say the same! 100% agree with this.

Nevereatcardboard · 13/12/2025 21:48

I’d only stay with him if he promised to never drink another drop of alcohol again, including Christmas, New Year and his birthday. He won’t want to do this, so better to dump him before he gets another chance to damage more of your home. He’s an utter pig.

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