To be annoyed at being told exactly what present to get nephews

I am not a Disney fan myself and I think it looks really tacky the Disney clothing/toys etc in stores. So I feel her there.
I appreciate my kids may feel differently when they grow up…
i always take advice from parents and am quite grateful when people ask me what to buy and they stick to the list. I made the mistake of not saying no gifts for my 1 year old birthday this year…we have multiple of the same things . 5 shape sorters.(the same one) 6 of the stacking towers… when we go to parties or buy gifts for family/friends I usually just buy what is asked for. Less waste unwanted stuff but more importantly I expect the parents have selected what’s best for their kids.

If you’ve been told what to get, why would you then go and buy something random??

Ahhhhh see my MIL gave my 3 year old a scalpel 'for crafting' for a her birthday this year as she went rogue.

So I am probably more like your sister on this. That coupled with the fact we literally have no space in our small house, unwanted gifts genuinely stress me out.

Not read the whole thread but maybe you buying more than asked for makes her feel obliged to buy more than she can afford for your children. I'd feel uncomfortable if someone spent a lot more on me than I spent on them.

My sister asks what she should get my children, I tell her, and children get something they like/ need, which is then used and enjoyed. My sister is happy. We are happy. Kids are happy. SIL just buys something she wants to buy. It then mostly remains unused until it goes to the charity shop - it usually is something the children are not into, already have, don’t like, doesn’t fit (she doesn’t see them very often and doesn’t know them). And when they were little - something we wouldn’t have in the house (those annoying toys that make endless sounds), already had, they’d already grown out of, not to our taste/ quality. But of course it is your choice - just…. It might get more usage if you actually follow your sister’s lead, especially if you don’t see them very often?

Honestly, some of these family Christmases sound absolutely awful. Cut the tension with a knife I imagine.

why subject your kids to this kind of environment op? Not allowed to talk about Disney, mum and aunt pissed off with each, and they’ve had to travel to far to even get there.

I don't agree with dictating exactly what someone wants to hear gifted unless that's wanted. I nearly posted just this weekend as I asked a relative what sort of things her DC were into (as I was looking at Christmas gifts) and she sent me a link to a specific item. I wasn't happy with it because I had my own budget in mind and also wanted to avoid getting everything on amazon. I didn't ask what they specifically wanted: I asked what they were into so I thought that was rude...

That aside, I agree with PPs who say it depends what you give. I get mildly annoyed with relatives who give large items that take up space or items of clothing I don't really want. Could it be that? I wouldn't say anything though.

I have a sibling like this, they are just a bit grumpy & controlling in general and I always end up feeling like I have to pander to them to keep the peace, despite how often I tell myself I need to be more assertive! It's so annoying.

Every year they'll send a list with themes of items on (say, Harry potter, Peppa pig, cricket gear) and ask me to let them know what I've got - supposedly so they can let other people (who have been given the same list) know, to avoid duplicates.

Instead what happens is i buy something I think is fine, say a Harry potter rucksack and a Peppa pig jumper - I'll let them know and I'll get a response like 'oh they don't like rucksacks and they've got enough jumpers' - basically that the gift isn't good enough and that I need to go back and change it. I'm sure in our household we were taught to say thank you and accept things graciously, and tbh I think my nieces and nephews are polite enough that they would do so, it's just my sibling who is bloody awkward!

I would agree with this, were it not for the Disney ludicrousness, she does sound like hard work.

I wouldn't worry about it OP.

She sounds like a nightmare!

Listening to the carping on MN over presents - clothes aren’t a gift, pyjamas aren’t a gift, we have no space, we only want DC to have educational toys, etc, etc, I’d be inclined to buy children nothing. What’s the point when a good deed gets savaged? I bet these ‘no room’ people would find space for their own nice things.

I’ve never told anyone what gifts my DCs could receive. It’s a gift! I’m happy to give ideas but I’d never be such a mega control-freak that I’d dictate exactly which items my children could have.

OP you sound like a lovely aunt.

She sounds annoying, mountains and mole hills etc

I always thank people for gifts for my children but it can be a bit of a nightmare when they get a lot of stuff. I really don’t like clutter and at the moment my living room is bursting with kids toys (we have a baby and a toddler so their toys are different at the moment but will soon align - think jumperoo/play mats but also toddler kitchen, toy box, kids sofa etc). I’m dreading the Christmas influx tbh!

on the basis of this these, I don’t imagine that much life lost between the pair of you.

So you’re going to have to forbid your children from mentioning their Disney holiday?

A list of what people want for Christmas is very welcome to me. Otherwise I have no clue what is age appropriate, what they already have, what they like. Even more so for a child I see once a year.
Clothes are not a present for a child imo, especially preschool age.

Heavens, I don’t suppose that makes for a particularly joyous occasion, for anyone

You see each other once a year… over Christmas?

So in that case, I can’t fathom why you’re happy to respect no word of Disney being mentioned. Are you going to forbid you children from raising it?

I absolutely love it when family members are really explicit about gifts for their children. I love it even more if they send me a link so I can just order it!

I understand where you're coming from but to give another perspective I have 4 kids and we have a real issue with present giving from relatives. We appreciate it's lovely, generous and we are appreciative. However, we have no space. At all. There is too much stuff. We do sometimes ask for specific items if people ask what to get them, and we keep it to lower priced items, but we have also started to specify what not to get them and it can be frustrating when people deviate from that. What is "just" another small item of clothing per child, another soft toy, another colouring set, another book, another doll, another toy car etc mounts up. To you, it's only another couple of items of clothes which is lovely for you to get them. But what if several other people do the same thing? If every grandparent in our family buys each of my kids "just a wee teddy" for Christmas that's potentially another 16 soft toys to add to their already vast collection. I feel like we may have come across as a little rude with our list of things to please not buy them but they really don't need these things and we really have no space. It also means there's nothing left for us to buy them sometimes 😂 We're aware we're fortunate to have people who love our children so much but it can just be a lot y'know?

she doesn't want her kids to be "sucked in" to the whole Disney commercialism. 😂

She's one of those mothers. Yes, she is BU and rude, but don't take it personally.

Hopefully she will have to eat her words before her kids suffer from her miserable attitude. Until she changes, she will make everyone laugh behind her back, the kids will be feral as soon out of her sight when they have access to everything she bans and that is normal for other children. Within a few years, she'll be drowning in plastic crap because she doesn't know how to manage things sensibly.

Dont' take it personally, stick to the list, but having to lie to your own nephews about your own holiday is a sign she's being ridiculous.

She sounds ridiculous and I wouldn’t be pandering to any of that.