to withdraw my daughter from nursery

Yep, it's creepy. Influencers and celebs should just keep their kids off their SM. Although they seem happy to show their kids' faces if there's a collaboration or Hello mag waves their cheque book.

Children posted but from behind only or worse, with an emoji over their face is one of my most hated things, it makes me feel I’m doing something wrong by seeing a photo someone actually intended me to see!

A lot of it is performative protectiveness which is really unhealthy for everybody.

I understand but she's still background and unidentified. You need lots of images and angles for deepfakes of the same kid. I just don't see that it's a risk. There are lots of content creators with hundreds of videos of their kids publicly posted online... they are the kids at risk as there's enough there to make a convincing deepfake. I don't think your worry here is proportional to any tangible risk.

This is the problem with videos and social media. If you took your daughter to the park and a stranger filmed then they could post this online legally. That’s just the world we live in now. I know the nursery is a protected setting but it would be the same at every nursery - and wait until you get to school.

If you think its 'child abuse' why would you have instagram and why would you be friends with someone who is sharing images of what you consider 'child abuse'.

I say this as someone who shares no pictutes of my child online, but i am not going to consider the 90% of people who do as child abusers. Thats rediculous.

You should be able to report the video for having your daughter in it without permission through facebook I believe.

Your daughter isn't highlighted, named, publicised... just background. It's not great but I couldn't be upset about this. Your daughter will be filmed as background hundreds of times a day on ring doorbells and dash cams and cctv. I would be careful to try and keep the likelihood of harm vs the likelihood of making your child fearful and unsettled in balance. The balance here is not to upset your daughters life over a video with no real likelihood of harm I think.

I think posting children online is child abuse

No. The pervert who posted the deep fakes is in the wrong. Not parents happily posting videos of their children at normal happy events like a school or nativity play.

I wouldn't do it because it's not my thing but you need to keep a sense of perspective or your anxiety is going to rub off on your DC.

What will you do if you go on holiday and see a parent filming their kids have fun in the pool?

I don’t see how this helps your daughter. She may struggle with changing nurseries. It can happen anywhere.

Sorry to hear about your past. I wish you well 💐

I think posting children online is child abuse.

It's not.

If you approach other parents with that approach you are going to get nowhere and everyone is going to think you are unhinged. It's fair enough to say that you don't share pics/videos online and could they please take it down. But ranting about child abuse is just daft.

While I realise it’s your right I do find the preciousness surrounding this so over the top. What do you think will happen if someone sees your child?

I think what happened to you in your childhood is skewing your opinion. Not even sharing your child's name is extreme. You do know that this is not secret information and birth marriage and death records are all in the public domain? Anyone could order a copy of your child's birth certificate and wouldn't even have to give a reason.

As for the social media posting, agree with others that this isn't a nursery problem, it's a problem with the other parent who has posted even though they were asked not to. It's a bit of a leap though assuming that anyone who saw the video of the other mother's child which inadvertently had yours in the background that they would even notice your child, or have any interest in them.

You can remove your child for any reason, including this reason, but as someone else said, you cut off your nose to spite your face. All nurseries, schools etc will tell parents not to film / at least not to put it online, and there’ll always be the odd one who doesn’t listen. You can keep moving your child from one setting to another whenever this happens, but it might be better to be annoyed, do what you can to get it offline, silently curse the stupid cow who did it, and move on.

You daughter is happy and thriving and fine there and this isn’t something that affects her so she needs to stay where she is.

because this is (an understandable) YOU problem and one you are going to need to work on because as much as Nursery/School/Clubs assert the boundary people are going to walk over them sadly (they shouldn’t but they will)

DD has a friend who was adopted via the LA and you would be amazed and how many times certain parents had to be informed to remove stuff of their children

It is worth keeping in mind that a toddler they don’t already know in the background on a video is going to be unidentifiable as your daughter.

I fully get why you don’t want things sharing but it sounds like in this case nobody would be able to identify her anyway unless they already know her.

Seen your latest reply, in which you explain why it’s a trigger, but you do need to work on accepting that this life. My children have been at three nurseries and three primary schools across their lives and these slip ups occur, despite best feet forward. Make your complaints but don’t pull her from a nursery at which and is happy and settled – you will only find the same in any other setting.

Unfortunately this selfishness is the reason why children who are at risk of abduction, abuse don’t even take part in events as the risk is too great.

If the nursery weren’t involved - then removing child seems a drastic step.

Realistically no one can feasibly stop others taking photos and videos subtly. It’s a hazard of modern life. No other activity in the outside world will not have the same risk.