to withdraw my daughter from nursery

I can understand your anger OP, but it seems unfair to punish your daughter and remove her from a nursery where she is happy and thriving over something like this. It isn't the nursery fault and this is something that could happen anywhere.

I understand the risks and concerns about posting pictures of children online but as parents we can never fully eliminate the risk of pictures or videos going online unless you plan on keeping at her home forever and never socialising her. As your daughter gets older she'll have sports events, school plays etc that people will film/take pictures of and some of these might end up online.

By all means talk to the parent who took the video, they shouldn't have been going against nursery rules but don't punish your daughter by taking her out somewhere where she is happy.

Two of my kids are adopted from the town we used to live in. I used to ask nursery and school to put them at the end of rows and cut them off any official photos (we’d get the copies with them on). I also used to ask for parts with masks or face painting in school productions when they were smaller, so they couldn’t be identified if someone filmed and posted.

School and nursery were always really good about this.

Jeez. By all means make your choices to not put your child online.

But lose the ‘child abused’ label from people that choose otherwise. It’s offensive and belittles real abuse victims.

She hasn’t said her daughter is in danger. Just she doesn’t like it.

Can’t you report the video on the SM site it’s on (insta/FB?) and say that it contains images of a minor (your daughter) for which there was no consent given? I think they remove them in those circumstance

This.

removing your child from her nursery where she is settled & happy, because of something outside the control of nursery is ridiculous.

Do you never take your daughter out in public? She could be filmed at soft play, at the park, in a restaurant. People will video their families & she might be in the background.

will you stop her going to birthday parties? because the parents will take video & upload it to SM.

im sorry about your childhood & understand your desire to protect your daughter & I do know 'bad shit' happens online. BUT you also have to keep in mind your daughter is out & about in the real world living her life. You cannot have 100% control of any images on line.

You're massively overreacting and to say showing a child online is abuse is quite frankly unhinged.

The issue should be with the parent not the nursery.
I’m not sure what the benefits would be to you removing your child and sending them elsewhere tbh.

Posting children online is not child abuse. That’s a ridiculous thing to say. You can choose not to have your child online but those of us who are happy to post pictures of our children are not abusing them.

The nursery should have words wirh hte parent and send a message out to everyone As a reminder.

The nursery could have been a bit better about stopping people filming (if that’s their policy, it might not be). But other than that I agree with PPs that they can’t force someone to take it down.

Our old nursery had a no phones in the building policy generally (like during pick up), but you were allowed to take pictures at parents’ events that they did. At our new nursery, you have to leave phones in a box at the door if you go in for any show or event or anything, so nurseries do vary in how they view it.

It sounds like the nursery could do more to enforce the no filming rule. - reminder at start of show, being clear anyone filming will be asked to leave.

But the issue is this could happen at any setting including school and public places like parks. Is it worth up heaving your dd when this could happen anywhere.

There's nothing the nursery can do but ask her, they can't force her and it'd be the same anywhere so moving nurseries won't change anything. What you can do is report the video to the platform and ask they remove the video due to your child being in it and the video being put on there without parental consent. My uncle posted a picture of my daughter on Facebook when she was born when I'd asked everyone to not post pictures of her online and thats what I did it got removed quite quickly.

And what exactly do you expect the nursery to do?

@IsItSnowing i think most get the issue and almost everyone has said that the parent who filmed it (and it seems filmed it when they weren’t suppose to even film let alone post) is wrong and shouldn’t do it. Raising it with the nursery so they can request it is removed is fine as well.
and saying you don’t consent is also absolutely fine

removing her from nursery is a way over the top reaction the OP needs to manage because there isn’t much else any nursery can do with this when parents don’t listen

There's always one ...

I wouldn't take your daughter out if she's thriving. I would simply have a word with the parent in question and say that I notice she has uploaded a video that includes your daughter, but due to privacy you would not like your daughter not to be visible. Ask if she could remove the video or edit the video so your daughters face is not shown. If she refuses to negotiate then that's another matter.

Actually, I’d be lying in wait for her and I’d be threatening legal action if she doesn’t remove the video.

Can you contact Instagram and get them to remove the video.

And try to speak to the entitled woman who filmed and posted against the nursery’s policies.

This.
Every nursery and school will have this issue. A friend of mine adopted a child when they were primary age. There are real concerns that the birth family are trying to track the child down and she has worked with the school to ensure that the child isn't videod or photographed by other adults. So in this years nativity they are one of the animals and wearing a mask, as are several other children.

The nursery can do their best but unfortunately there will always be people ignoring the rules because they "need" a film of little Johnny in his Shepherds costume to post on social media.

This could happen at any nursery and is even more likely to happen when they go to school. Moving them from a nursery where they are thriving because of this is a bad idea.

Its the selfish few who think its their right to post the videos and photos (that no one bar the parents and close family) are actually interested on that means everyone can no longer just have the photos and videos to have as personal memories.

I think those who are not seeing the issue here maybe don't understand what can happen to video/photos of children posted online. There are some vile people out there and images can be manipulated in horrible ways.
Having said that, I wouldn't necessarily remove my daughter from the nursery. It's not really their fault but they should be proactive in contacting the parent to ask for it to be removed. They will have her contact details and they should do that now not when her child returns to nursery.
I would contact the SM platform and asked for it to be removed. They will generally do that if you tell them it is non consensual sharing of your child's image. That will at least mitigate the risk.
Some people really are clueless about this kind of thing unfortunately and continuously post images of their child and others online. I would check that the nursery has a clear policy on this and ask them to bring it to all the parents attention explicitly.

You can pull her out of nursery but this could happen at the next nursery and school, or any activity she does. Football, brownies, dance, gymnastics, karate. Anything that involves awards, plays, assemblys.

School tell parents not to post but they do. It’s not the nursery’s fault but they should ask the parent to take it down or blur her face.

This seems like an absolutely crazy overreaction on your part. Just let it go.

There are lots of reasons why parents may not want a child to be online.

Sometimes a smiley face over the face is the best option for the nursery/school/club because otherwise they need to remove the child from the activity to take the photo which can make them feel more aware / anxious / different.