Would you say something?

Don’t say anything to the cheating exH.

I’d happily report to mutual friends and family that it’s reassuring, after hearing so many years of lies and being made out to be the bad guy, that ex is now admitting he was a cheater and forced the situation, maligning you. Add how lucky you are to be away from that kind of behaviour.

Take charge and positively re-write the narrative around the breakup to anyone you can.

I would probably speak to him about it- it would drive me mad that he’d made it seem like it was your fault you chucked him out so he didn’t have to break up with you for another women. Cowardly thing to do. He probably would deny deny deny even now, so you might not get much closure out of it and I know it’s petty, you wouldn’t achieve anything, but I would feel so much better just to see his face when he realises you know the truth and he has made an idiot out of you no more.

What’s your relationship like now? If things were friendly/civil then maybe it’s all water under the bridge (ie you were at his wedding?) then you may have to be prepared that if you bring it up then it would cause him to lash out/animosity towards you.

Don't say anything. It simply proved what you knew all along and that you were not imagining it
His relationship with his children is separate to yours and he has showed them that he is a cheat and a liar.

Be happy
Enjoy your relationship with your kids
Forget the little fucktard

It was 12 years ago. @hazelowens you need to disinvest and please tell me you weren't at the wedding.

Move on.

Absolutely I would, take him to the cleaners financially, let everyone know what a liar he is, make his life hell!

His poor children.
He's cheating scum, and now you know for sure and they do too.
Don't ever defend him if it does come up, but I would just wait until it does.

I would not say anything in earshot of your children, they already understand and acknowledge. You are stronger in your position. He has been outed in front of everyone. He must have inside been knarled. Nothing else needs to be said.

However you could pocket this, and up to you but your next opportunity away from the kids you could casually mention that the wedding speech was interesting and confirmed what you already knew. It may open up old wounds and possibly cause resentment from him (ask yourself is it worth it for the children). However a casual mention while you walk away with your head held high, I bloody would.

Must have been a smug moment for you, and even more delicious in front of his friends and family. However shame for your children.

You won't gain anything from it. He will just double down and it will look like you are still hung up on him. As hard as it is (and it is) just let it rest.

Ach no. Let it go.

It's a waste of your own energy.

I would leave it, but be available to talk to your boys. If they want to know more, then their dad is the one to be doing the explaining, not you.

What a crass friend you ex has! Saying something like that in front of the boys, very stupid.

It's been 10 years, I think you have to let it go and just be glad you're rid of him!

Agreed

I initially read this as being 2023/4 … but it’s 10 years ago OP!!

Let it go … I know the wedding was recent but it’s doesn’t matter now.

He’s a prick. The best revenge is a life well-lived.

What a stupid thing to say in a speech. He’s never going to admit to the affair, and what difference does it make. Move on and be glad he’s gone. What’s that saying, ‘when a man marries his mistress it creates a vacancy’ 😉

I would like to not say something, but I probably would.

Well he’s pretty much owned up in his speech and to his children, so they know now what a snake he is/ was. I am sure a few other guests there would have done the maths. I’d call it karma, leave it and get revenge by living your best life.

I wouldn't go out of my way to say anything.

Having said that, if the opportunity presented itself during the course of a conversation (do you still communicate with each other?) then I would be very tempted to say something - but in a laughing, off-hand way 'haha, yeah, I heard about the speeches at your wedding. Rumbled!' type thing. Not in a 'you lied to me, and now I have proof' kind of way.

He lied to you at the time in order to make his getting away from you easier. That’s what cheaters and liars do.

Calling him out on it now serves no purpose other than to rake it all up again which will cause hurt to you and may cause him and his wife to retaliate in animosity involving your children.

Liars don’t change. He will be lying to his wife at some point so just let them get on with it and step back from any drama they create and be serene and dignified in co parenting your children.

I thought he had admitted it and said he did it because he thought you were having an affair?

either way op….. this is all many many years ago. Focus on your present and future .

Poor boys. Agree with all saying move on. Surely not a news flash that your ex is a pig. Shrink him to absolutely nothing in your life.

The fact you’re focussed on this is a bit concerning op.

Surely your life has moved on to such an extent that he’s a distance memory

Speak to your kids but not your ex and he’s proved himself to be a liar. Be glad you’re not with him, well done for maintaining your dignity and resisting all urges to throw a few punches, ha ha!

Nothing to gain by saying anything, everyone already knows now.
How are the boys after? I would make sure they can talk about it with you if they neeed to but also encourage them to talk to him

To who? He knows you know now. That's enough.

Focus on talking to your children