Husband almost dropped baby whilst drunk

He is an alcoholic if he can't stop drinking to avoid endangering the life of his small child. I think you're so used to seeing him drunk that you don't notice it any more.

You should leave.

But he's in the house drunk now? I think that's everyone's worry. Can someone come round?

When I was a drunk, if my partner had locked himself in a room....I would have just carried on drinking until I didn't really know what was going on. Would have thentried to get into room. Not because I was violent, but because I was off my tits.

I know he's not me, but generally we are all extremely problematic, unable to risk assess, dramatic, as someone said upthread dead behind the eyes and unable to comprehend what we are doing. No off switch. All terribly dangerous when a baby is nearby.

Leave, go to your parents, anyone THEN tell them and let them know why you've taken the steps you have
Locking you and your newborn in a room to keep safe? Oh come on now
Call someone to help you gather your stuff and get out of there
If he's as comatose as you say he is then you have the perfect chance
Seriously!!

You’re deluded, OP. Put your baby first, always. She doesn’t have a choice here does she? But you do and it’s your number one priority always to protect her from anyone who might harm her including her waste of space father.

I feel for you so deeply. Please just put yourself and baby's needs first, he's not doing that with this behaviour x

What the actual fuck OP?! This guy's behaviour is very dangerous.
Don't listen to him. Of course you're not being dramatic. We are talking about the fragile life of your own tiny baby. You are the only human on this planet she can depend on. Your instincts, your heart, your brain are screaming at you to keep the baby safe.
I'm actually glad you reached out to your mum and to MN to reassure yourself that you are right.
Unless your DH gives up alcohol completely for the rest of his life, you must not be around him anymore.
When he is sober you must tell him how scared he makes you feel for your baby's life. He is the man you trust to protect his family. He either gives up alcohol for good or you leave. No middle ground.

And what if he’s never on the mend? What if he doesn’t improve, or have any intention of it?

There's obviously a problem here and you know your baby isn't safe, sounds like you know that.

I suppose it's easy to say leave and never go back. Alcoholism is a disease and if this is a partner you love and see a future with, hopefully you can get distance for a while and urge him to seek help? I know he's not admitting it now, but the stark reality of his family being gone might prompt him.

This thread has seriously peaked my anxiety. I used to be a binge drinker (alcoholic) like your OH, and the thought of holding a baby pissed makes me feel ill. I was such a fucking hazard, a baby would not have lasted long. I either would have dropped baby or passed out on top of baby. No way. Wouldn't even want to be in the same house with a baby as a binge drinker, let alone same room.

“He wouldn’t give her back to me and I started crying at that point, scared. I finally managed to coax her off of him but this has stuck with me”.

God, this part made my heart drop, OP. You should never be in this position, that must have been so scary for you.

In all honestly, OP. I’d want to be elsewhere. You shouldn’t have to experience this everything he goes out drinking. Bless you, sending bigs hugs to you x

Leave for your child's sake women's aid and child services can help

Glad you've reached out for help in real life.

Honestly OP, can you leave him? Blackout drunk people are a unique kind of hell. I left my husband who was similar solely because of his drinking. He wasn't violent or anything, just dead behind the eyes after a few drinks, no off switch and had no sense of care or responsibility towards me when drunk. Still makes my skin crawl when I picture him in that state.

He’s an alcoholic sadly.

He is 100% an alcoholic unfortunately. He can't control how much he drinks and is clearly not in control of his actions around your baby.

LEAVE.

take it from someone who’s been there.

Of course you can’t prove he would have dropped her until he actually drops her and he may convince people you overreacted by acting before that could happen but what’s the alternative?
If you are sure she’s in danger, you are right and the opinion of someone who wasn’t there is irrelevant.

Leave absolutely leave.

Well he's certainly getting pissed on the regular isn't he!! When's your time away?
Hopefully he won't pick her up since she's older and should be more settled re night time is for (somewhat) sleeping, so if he's back home at night there's no need for him to be picking her up and carrying her around as she should be in her cot/your bedroom
Just tell him to sleep on the sofa so he doesn't disturb you two and I'd be seriously considering telling your and his family if they're supportive about how much he's been drinking.. think about realistically is he safe when he's smashed or is he a liability.. could you banish him to spare room etc..

Perhaps he can do dry january
Going forward I would be thinking if he doesn't take it seriously you will be making plans to leave!

functions perfectly fine during the day and is an amazing father when sober.

I'm not saying this to stick the boot in, I'm saying this because I've been where you've been and I absolutely understand where you're coming from. But you need to reframe the situation. "He's a great parent when he's not pissed out of his mind" is not a high enough bar. What it actually means is "sometimes he gets so drunk I can't trust him to be a good parent. But even though he knows he's a shitty parent when he's really drunk, he still goes out and gets that drunk."

At minimum, the bar should be at "I know that sometimes I drink a bit too much so when I thinks that is likely to happen I arrange, with prior notice to my wife, to stay somewhere else that night." More realistically, the bar should be at "I've got a really young baby at home so I'm not going to get so drunk that I can't be relied upon to make sensible decisions about her care. If, once I start drinking, I can't reliably control how much I drink then the obvious decision is to not drink at all."

YABU simply for staying with a dangerous alcoholic who is a physical risk to your baby.