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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex says he’s sick of doing shit for me

456 replies

PoptyPin · 12/12/2025 20:23

Tonight it was driving me and our disabled son to a little caravan park so our son could have a festive holiday. Asked ex months ago if he wouldn’t mind driving us as I don’t drive, it’s one hour and 15/20 minutes drive.

Ex turned up this evening and I had booked a food delivery to take with us, delivery was delayed by 20 minutes so I apologised and said does he want to come in with our oldest to wait. He was annoyed saying I should have planned it better and it wasn’t fair, he’s not waiting and no way is he waiting in my house. He said he was sick of doing shit for me, I argued that it wasn’t for me, it was for our son who deserves the same opportunities as his sibling, it’s not like he’s driving me to a spa weekend etc. he called me an arsehole and stormed off.

i cancelled the delivery as they kept pushing it back, i sat in the car and told him i had cancelled it, oldest said i was a bitch and how ungrateful I was to Dad. I shouted at him to not call me that and to show me some respect.

Ex put on happy Christmas music and chatted to DS and I cried all the way there as I was so looking forward to a happy, festive weekend with youngest. (It was dark, the kids wouldn’t have seen but I just felt fucking broken in that moment by everything)

Ex struggled to find the accommodation and again said how he was sick of doing this shit for ME. DS joined in with how mammy is ungrateful and I tried to say how it’s not for me, it’s for his sibling who deserves a little holiday, he has profound needs and it’s not easy on my own with him.

Ex dropped off all the stuff for us but fucking hell. It’s the last time I ask him to help us. AIBU? Was I ungrateful? Who was unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
PoptyPin · 12/12/2025 20:31

shellyleppard · 12/12/2025 20:26

Sorry OP but if my child spoke to me like that..... your ex isn't helping the situation. Maybe next time get a taxi?? Your ex sounds horrible. Sending hugs x

Harsh lesson learned - definitely make our own way there next time. I can’t remember if DS said I was being a bitch or that I was a bitch but still. It felt like they both ganged up on me and the whole journey was so depressing.

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 12/12/2025 20:31

What a dick, it's not ok to speak to you that way and sadly it sounds like it's rubbing off on your eldest. It's appalling he called you a bitch and there should've been consequences for that behaviour.

Is your ex picking you up too or can you try and arrange some other mode of transportation? Whereabouts in the country is the caravan park, is an Uber feasible? I don't think you should be relying on him to do things anymore, it might ease the animosity a bit.

Octavia64 · 12/12/2025 20:31

I am divorced

there is no fucking way I would do anything for my ex.

in fact, there are very few people who I would offer to do that sort of drive for as finding holiday accommodation in the dark is a fucking nightmare at the best of times.

I think he was very very nice to agree to do it at all.

sorry probably not what you want to hear.

sharkstale · 12/12/2025 20:29

Disagree with above, I don't think he sounds horrible if he's willing to drive that far to drop you and the kids off for a nice weekend. I think it sounds like he's had enough of doing it though. If you're split up, in all fairness, it's not his job. You should learn to drive to not rely on him. I see your point about your son but really, if you're not together and you have plans that don't even include your ex, you shouldn't be expecting him to taxi you about.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 12/12/2025 20:29

I think you need to find someone else to run you about, or learn to drive. Realistically, an ex isn’t going to do this forever, and he clearly resents it, and is taking it out on you. You need to find another option. Stop relying on him, and you stop him having any control over you.

shellyleppard · 12/12/2025 20:26

Sorry OP but if my child spoke to me like that..... your ex isn't helping the situation. Maybe next time get a taxi?? Your ex sounds horrible. Sending hugs x