Ex says he’s sick of doing shit for me

I think he is we being very nice to do all that driving and I think you should have made sure things were timed to ensure you were ready. I can see why he is pissed off but unless there is a bigger backstory of you doing things, he shouldn’t have been so rude.

You need to sort out alternative transport and help for things in the future. It’s not up to your ex to accommodate your choices. Your child is a whole other matter and needs proper repercussions for that kind of totally unacceptable behaviour.

Clearly if you read the posts they are both his kids.
He can't care for the youngest on his own but agreed to give the OP a lift to a holiday park where she will care for the child on HER own while he just looks after the easier, older child who he lets slag her off.

But, yes, the OP is the only one at fault here. 🙄

His child or not taking you places is not his responsibility, think you need to get some independence.

He doesn’t take our youngest out on his own, definitely wouldn’t take him on holiday!

As I thought, a couple of hours driving in return for zero parenting, he sounds like an absolute hero !

I think theres a lot we don’t know. The delay in the delivery was just an excuse for your ex to get angry. Had that been on time he still would’ve found a reason to get angry.

Some comments here make me really uoset
its sad he can’t recognise this is for your disabled son. Why did you split up?

Then why are you relying on him to do favours for you if he makes you feel so bad?

You need to stand on your own two feet a bit more, I think.

He agreed to give the lift. He didn't agree to be messed around for ages because OP wasn't organised enough to get the food delivered the day before.

So the eldest isn’t his son but they joined forces to verbally abuse you - then he took your eldest son and dropped him where?

FWIW I agree your ex sounds like an arsehole.

But you don't rely on arseholes to do nice favours.

But the OP asked him months ago and he clearly agreed.
If he didn't want to do it or was going to begrudge doing it then why did he agree months ago?

I’d be annoyed if I was him too. You need to arrange things you can take him to yourself - on public transport if need be. Stop relying on him for things on your time, it’s not his responsibility.

You could have arranged the delivery for the day before, to be fair.

If you were giving someone a lift and they were faffing about and delaying you, I suspect you'd be a bit miffed too, no?

it would have been easier to book somewhere you could get to without relying on an ex to drive you.
Are you learning to drive? How often do you ask for help? Does he have his kids on his own?
i would be annoyed if I was doing a favour (which it is if it isn’t hisagreed time with his kids) and you had ordered a food shop that close to the time you were leaving. It could have arrived the day before.
it’s a lot to ask and I think going forward book things you can do by yourself or ask a friend or family member to go with you not an ex that clearly doesn’t want to help.

Why arrange a delivery for 20 minutes before you were due to leave? Why not the evening before or earlier that morning?

I agree that you are unreasonable to have asked the ex to drive you anywhere regardless of the reason. If you had come on here saying my ex-dp has organised a holiday for him and our ds and is asking me to give them a lift to the caravan, it's a 2.5 hour round trip for me aibu to refuse? It would have been an absolute landslide of you owe him nothing, why is he even asking?

The eldest's language and attitude need dealt with as a separate issue.

What a surprise!

He sounds like a real prince.
I can see why he's your ex!

As other ls have said though,make this the last time you rely on him. He agreed to take you but then used the trip as a stick to beat you with.
Don't give him the satisfaction in the future & don't make the mistake of assuming he can see the benefit of the holiday for your shared son. Because he clearly can't.

You need to not ask your ex for favours he’s not a nice guy and it’s an excuse for him to treat you like shit.

The way he behaved was disgusting and there’s no excuses but he would have had the right to be annoyed at waiting for a food delivery! I appreciate it was late but you cut it fine!

Its not your exdp responsibility to drive you around.

Sounds like the boundaries are very blurred and its impacting your dc.

Okay, saw your update. Still your lack of organisation was holding him up.

I think you should have discussed the whole idea properly wtih your ex before you'd booked it, tbh. If your son lives with you full time then you are taking on the caring burden, and ex should be offering practical help, and yes, that should include arranging to get his son to a holiday.

However, if he also has DS a lot of the time, and has also taken him away on holiday without any help from you, then really you should be doing it with help from people other than him.

Also he was probably pissed off at eating a takeaway in the car. That is disgusting in itself.

I think you need to pull yourself together and be a bit more self-sufficient. All this "little caravan park" and "little holiday" and sobbing all the way there and not being able to organise the delivery to arrive before you were meant to be setting off, etc. Could you not have used your phone to direct your ex so he didn't struggle to find the caravan park and predictably lose his temper again?

It all comes across as a bit pathetic and "poor me" I'm afraid, and it sounds like having as little to do with your ex as possible rather than relying on him for things would improve your situation.