Ex says he’s sick of doing shit for me

I'd be so, so annoyed. YABU for that.

Well perhaps he should do his duty and pay for a carer to do his 50% share of parenting. that would give OP the time to order her shopping early.

I’d guess he’d choose paying for a taxi a couple of times a year over that every time.

The thing is alpaca op has a profoundly disabled son. That means Op will be doing a lot of extra care way and above ‘normal’ parenting. So getting a shopping delivered within a two hour timeframe before heading off, saves op having to unpack, then repack the groceries. It’s actually a very sensible plan, if the delivery was on time. Op could not have foreseen her delivery would be delayed.
people really don’t have a clue about having a profoundly disabled child this isn’t a mild, moderate or even severe disability. Maybe look up what covers profound difficulties, then come back with your eye rolling emoji.

Well no one needs to guess why this perf charming man is an ex. Unfortunately I think you need to stop asking him for anything especially when he seems to think that it’s all for you when it’s all for the son that he doesn’t seem to want anything to do with. I would be having a serious conversation with your oldest when you get back no way should he be speaking to you like that. That needs addressing and fast before he becomes anymore like your ex. Hope you manage to enjoy the weekend with your son.

💯

Yeah you were in the wrong for faffing around with the delivery. You should have got it much earlier in the day so you were all ready to go.
There was no need for the verbal abuse though, he's being a prick

All he had to do was wait for a food shop. Honestly I think some of you must have really charmed lives if such a minor inconvenience would cause you to have a tantrum like the one the OP describes.
I have a disabled child. So much of our lives revolve around him and his needs. Every day something doesn’t go to plan, or something inconveniences us. We still do it, because he’s our child, and we love him, and that’s what parenting a disabled child is like, a lot of the time.
The OP’s child is the child of the man we’re discussing here, yet people are defending him for having a baby tantrum because he was mildly inconvenienced on this one occasion. If he parented the child full time he’d be dealing with far more than a minor inconvenience, every single day.
So many male apologists on this thread.

Your oldest can make his weekend spent at Dad's permanent if he can't control his potty mouth. What a disrespectful little shit.

And OP, please learn to drive or ask someone else - he is an ex for a reason and you shouldn't be using him for errands. it will never end well - for you. He holds all the power here.

He’s the disabled child’s father and you are the child’s carer. I assume most or all of the time. Your ex owes you a lot. Hope he pays support and does 50% well. But I doubt it.

I'd be annoyed at the poorly planned food delivery if it was delaying me starting a 3 hour round trip that was a favour to an ex too.

She was trying to arrange food for them all on a long journey, she hardly planned for it to be held up.

But to be fair, arranging it to arrive at the same time as she was due to be setting off is just asking for trouble. She hasn't explained why she didn't arrange the deliver for several hours beforehand, or even the previous day.

Taking his own child on a holiday is "guilting" him? Wow. It is EVERY parent's duty to make sure their children get the best they possibly can.

Deadbeat dads will love you, for sure

Where did she say she is the carer 100% of the time? She has not said what the custody arrangements are . All she has said is that he doesn’t take him anywhere. Even this weekend it was his turn to have him . But she decided to go away with him.

Old enough to choose to live with his dad. Give him that option and see how that shakes down. Ex may be more accommodating to both his children if he means he can get out of being a full time dad

It wasn’t at the time she was due to leave 🤷🏻‍♀️. It says quite clearly in the OP that it was due to come before they left. It was delayed.

This it would be full of diatribes of “King CF!! He books a holiday that is dependent on you being taxi driver and he then pisses about with ordering stuff then plays the sobbing victim? STEP BACK op!! He’s abusing you!!”

I can't believe the focus of some posters is OP not driving when her ex has been verbally abusive in front of their children and has 1 of the children copying him.
OP, you need to avoid any time with him and your DC. Not because he shouldn't help or you asking for help justifies his behaviour but because your children seeing him disrespect you stops them from respecting you. Oldest needs disciplining and a strong word about how he talks to his mum.

I didn’t realise today was the only day ever. She should have had it delivered last night.

I didn’t say it was, but also it would hardly have been rocket science for the OP to have got the food delivery last night instead of at the time she was due to leave today 🙄

The OP says in the her first post that it was delayed. How is that something she can "be a bit more organised" about? Should she make sure that Tesco guarantee that no drivers call in sick on the day she has her order?!

Irrespective of any to the issues in your post, you need to learn how to drive. As the years go by your ex will be less around, he may partner up, move etc, anything can happen. You need to work towards being self sufficient, in an emergency not being able to drive in your scenario is not ideal. Gain back control and work towards getting a licence.

Then he is old enough to be told a few home truths, but I suspect that wont go well. I am willing to bet my house that ex is Disney Dad who lets him game as much as he likes, takes him out to do the fun stuff and doesnt make him do homework/chores etc and you are the mean mum who sets rules and makes him do those things.

He's probably frustrated about all the driving he has to do, esp in the dark. If he was a real arsehole, he'd not have agreed to drive you i think. I'm so sorry that you were in tears. You sound like a lovely mum. Sending you big hugs x

It was his weekend with his profoundly disabled son. In exchange for this humongous inconvenience of waiting for a food shop, he gets the weekend back to himself. Fucking hard life he leads isn’t it?

He is the disabled childs father!! Not a random ex. This would have been agreed far in advance. AND she is the carer 100% of the time.