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AIBU?

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DD(15y) off ill from school...now wants to come grocery shopping

160 replies

CelestialCandyfloss · 12/12/2025 18:00

And I know why...so she can try to strong arm me into buying her sweets and treats 😒
She's been complaining of a tummy ache and feeling sick. I relented and let her stay home. I've had an awful 11 months with work and quite frankly I am burnt out and crawling towards the Christmas break. She's been ill on and off lately. I am sympathetic (she gets bad period pains), and has been involved in friendship dramas that I talked through with her, but she does also take the piss. I'm a single parent so have to be both good and bad cop.
She's now screaming and crying that she wants to come with me to Tesco to do the shopping. I've said no. If she's too poorly to go to school, then she's not going to be trotting round Tesco throwing all sorts in the trolley. I buy her snacks but she always wants more.

She's having a full on screaming fit. She takes treats out of the fridge and cupboard. I've done EVERYTHING I can possibly think of over the years to stop her with this bad habit.

AIBU to not take her? In fact I've just finished work (WFH today), am exhausted and just feel like not bothering at all.

OP posts:
Parker231 · 12/12/2025 18:09

No - if she’s not well enough for school, she can’t go out shopping. If she’s behaving like a child, treat her like one - take her phone off her and no treats to eat.

Has she work from school to catch up on - she could be spending her time doing that.

CelestialCandyfloss · 12/12/2025 18:09

sprigatito · 12/12/2025 18:03

Is the screaming and crying typical for her at 15? On the face of it I don’t think a trip out for some treats and a bit of fresh air is incompatible with being off school ill, especially if the problem is period pain and she feels well enough to go. I would not, however, be rewarding tantrums, and if I couldn’t afford to indulge demands for treats this close to Christmas I would expect her to take no for an answer.

She's pretty defiant and always liked to get her own way. She had period pain and was off two weeks ago; this is a separate illness - feeling /being sick and having tummy ache. She refuses breakfast but buys cakes in school. Turns her nose up at food I make. Her BFF Is super fussy, I believe she has ED and I'm so worried my daughter is so sugar addicted

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 12/12/2025 18:08

she will be better by monday
i would let her

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 12/12/2025 18:06

I was never off school ill ... my mum made us stay in bed if we were too ill for school. No phone, tablet, tv. Could read a book if bored.

Pereniallyannoyed · 12/12/2025 18:06

Fuck, no.
She is 15, not 5. You need to have the backbone here and tell her that. Too sick for school, too sick to go out in public. That’s how it works in the adult world. Get used to it.

Also, there’s enough disease out there at present. Keep your sick kid home and stop spreading germs unnecessarily.

WillowRowanHolly · 12/12/2025 18:05

Just don’t go. Put your pjs on.

Lennonjingles · 12/12/2025 18:05

Tell her you will get her sweets, shopping on a Friday evening is manic. If today is the only day off, then no, if she’s been off a few days and today feeling better, then yes.

sprigatito · 12/12/2025 18:03

Is the screaming and crying typical for her at 15? On the face of it I don’t think a trip out for some treats and a bit of fresh air is incompatible with being off school ill, especially if the problem is period pain and she feels well enough to go. I would not, however, be rewarding tantrums, and if I couldn’t afford to indulge demands for treats this close to Christmas I would expect her to take no for an answer.

TomatoSandwiches · 12/12/2025 18:03

You've said no, that's it, stick to it, let her scream and cry, do your shopping in peace.

Tryingatleast · 12/12/2025 18:03

Is she not worried about teachers seeing her? To be fair it’s Friday evening, if she comes with you it just means she got better I’ve the day but has to be in Monday morning. Might give you a break to just bring her but I get it’ll be irritating and like giving in

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