DD(15y) off ill from school...now wants to come grocery shopping

Exactly. Rolling eyes, huffing, the odd slammed door, a shout of ‘it’s not fair’ all probably normal. This crying and screaming behaviour is certainly not normal for any teens I have met. And I have lots of good friends who have been through this stage w their kids.

Yeah thats not so normal but if she has food issues then its understandable

If OP’s daughter has seen her friend get her own way by using this tactic, it must be more common than you think. It’s not a rare event, certainly. Did your children never eat all the Advent calendar chocolates by December 3rd?

She takes treats out of the fridge and cupboard. I've done EVERYTHING I can possibly think of over the years to stop her with this bad habit.

Don’t have treats at home at all. Tell her her behaviour shows she’s addicted to sugar and now can only have treats on a Saturday. Then hide away while she screams the house down and it all blows over…

No judgement on the tantrums. I know plenty of door slamming teens who tantrum about screen time, appropriate clothing or staying out too late.

I wouldn't buy sweets for a child with gastric symptoms though. Surely that would make it worse?

When she's well, explain that you decide what food to buy and she decides whether to eat it. If she's buying junk food herself there's no need for you to buy it too. So I wouldn't. Do online shops or don't take her with you.

I’ve a teen girl and no we don’t have screaming fits and demands of sweets and such.

She asks and accepts a no she might grumble but she certainly does not tantrum about it. If she started crying because I wouldn’t take her to Tesco I’d think she had gone a bit loopy tbh.

The very fact she is 15 and screaming and shouting would be a hard fucking no from me!

Generally I wouldn’t have a problem if she was feeling better and wanted to get out of the house. But that behaviour? Nope. No way.

I am a bit baffled at you saying she takes treats out of the cupboard and fridge. I stopped policing what my son ate long before he was 15. If it's in the house he can have it. If you don't want her to have it, don't buy it.

Also I think it's fine for her to come to Tesco if she is feeling better, so long as it is after school. People can feel better as the day goes on. That said, my mindset is a little different as my son had a lot of time off school in years 8 and 9 because of stomach aches (the drs put it down to stress related IBS). He would have barely left the house if I only took him out when he'd been in school earlier that day.

@CelestialCandyfloss the screaming fit at 15 from being told no isn't normal.

Just keep doing what you are doing and reiterate that if she has a tantrum then she will absolutely not have treats for a week, and that she needs to treat you woth respect and not behave like a toddler. If my 15 year old did that I'd also take his phone for 24 hours!!

If she is taking them out the cupboard and fridge then I'd stop buying them at all and stick to fruit.

Not over sweets, it's not.

But it is absolutely normal for a lot of teen girls to still have tantrums and shout and cry and stomp around the house and slam doors

If she does not have SEND, then the solution to raiding the cupboards is to not buy any treats. OK, there will be some tantrums, but you're getting those anyhow once she's eaten all the existing treats - noise cancelling headphones or acoustic filter ear plugs will take the shrillest notes out of it.

It'll make Christmas cheaper.

Really? Screaming and crying to go shopping at 15? My kids are young adults and I cannot imagine they or their friends doing this at 15 at all. I didn’t when I was a teen. Is this really common in most households?? Genuinely?

I think posting on here for advice rather than engaging with the tantrum is sensible.

WTF? Mumsnet literally exists so parents can ask for advice. I can’t understand why you would choose to post something so needlessly unpleasant.

Perhaps OP has indeed taught her daughter that screaming and shouting is wrong, but her daughter for one of a hundred possible reasons does it anyway? You can do everything right and still end up with a kid who doesn’t do what it says on the tin.

Either way it's not normal.

I took screaming meaning shouting not actually squealing

Deal with what dd needs ignoring if she is going to act like that. Op going up there is going to escalate things further dd needs time to calm down

Tantrums, yes, but not a full-on screaming fit over sweets.

She's been complaining of a tummy ache and feeling sick.

Then the last thing she needs is sweets. Bananas, rice, toast, and applesauce.

And screaming tantrum? She must be feeling a whole lot better. 🙄 I wouldn't take her just for that bullshit alone.

Sorry but your child is having a tantrum, you are burnt out and rather than deal with it you are posting on here. You must have more free time on your hands than you realise

Having a screaming fit at 15? I'd be telling her to cut out the toddler tantrum and grow up. If she was too ill for school then she's too ill for Tesco. And I'd be telling her that the consequence for having a tantrum is that she gets fuck all snacks

I don't think tantrums in teenage girls is out of the ordinary

If there’s one thing I have learned the hard way it’s that teenage girls can be dramatic, no matter what they’ve been taught in the past.

You’re probably right about your daughter copying her best friend’s behaviour. I remember a time when I had to ban my younger DD from watching Tracy Beaker for the same reason. Stay strong @CelestialCandyfloss and hope for a peaceful day tomorrow.