Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask do you think people always look their best when a healthy weight

209 replies

Xoxoxxo · 12/12/2025 16:58

Not fat shaming I’m very overweight myself and not been a healthy weight for a long time so can’t even imagine what I would look like at a healthy weight

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Naws · 12/12/2025 17:53

Motnight · 12/12/2025 17:48

It's an interesting question. Lots of people here on the WLI threads have reported that when they are still officially overweight people are telling them that they have lost enough weight and to stop.

I've lost over 7 stone in the last 15 months or so. I definitely look miles better than I did before. Healthier and more comfortable.

It's because they're used to seeing them overweight.

If they went to a different town where they didn't know anyone, people would probably still think they looked overweight because they can see them objectively if you see what I mean.

Bambamhoohoo · 12/12/2025 17:51

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:49

She's not overweight now is she? And when she was a teenager was she actually underweight or just very slim?

Who knows the answer to either, the point is the skinniest can be isn’t always your best look.

some people in this thread seem to be only considering the extremes. My point is- on most people, it doesn’t matter. As I said, 2/3 stone either way, no real impact.

Naws · 12/12/2025 17:50

So many people say they look 'haggard' at healthy weight but truthfully, they're probably just not used to it.

If anything, the jowls that often come from carrying a lot of weight on the face and neck, can look just as bad if not worse.

So I wouldn't worry about it and just aim for a healthy weight for your general health, not your looks.

Bambamhoohoo · 12/12/2025 17:49

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:48

Bigger as in on the heavy side of healthy, large breasts and buttocks as indicators of fertility and wealth, sure. Obesity is not celebrated as desirable anywhere apart from maybe mauritania where women can be force fed to obesity for marriage which is far more about making them huge as an advertisement of their father's and then their husband's wealth and status than actually desiring obese bodies.

We aren’t talking about obesity. That wasn’t the question.

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:49

Bambamhoohoo · 12/12/2025 17:48

I reckon mossy looks amazing with some weight on.

Yes she objectively looked better when she was 25- as everyone does- but I would suggest that she would not look better being her 25 year old weight now.

She's not overweight now is she? And when she was a teenager was she actually underweight or just very slim?

Bambamhoohoo · 12/12/2025 17:48

I reckon mossy looks amazing with some weight on.

Yes she objectively looked better when she was 25- as everyone does- but I would suggest that she would not look better being her 25 year old weight now.

To ask do you think people always look their best when a healthy weight
Motnight · 12/12/2025 17:48

It's an interesting question. Lots of people here on the WLI threads have reported that when they are still officially overweight people are telling them that they have lost enough weight and to stop.

I've lost over 7 stone in the last 15 months or so. I definitely look miles better than I did before. Healthier and more comfortable.

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:48

Bambamhoohoo · 12/12/2025 17:44

It’s not because there are plenty of cultures where bigger women are celebrated.

plus, obviously, we’re actually generally disgusted by starvation.

Bigger as in on the heavy side of healthy, large breasts and buttocks as indicators of fertility and wealth, sure. Obesity is not celebrated as desirable anywhere apart from maybe mauritania where women can be force fed to obesity for marriage which is far more about making them huge as an advertisement of their father's and then their husband's wealth and status than actually desiring obese bodies.

Leavmealone · 12/12/2025 17:48

I lost 5 stones and was constantly told I looked ill so I put a stone back on. I am now at the top end of healthy weight but look and feel so much better.

Bambamhoohoo · 12/12/2025 17:44

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:42

It's not socialisation, it's evolution.

It’s not because there are plenty of cultures where bigger women are celebrated.

plus, obviously, we’re actually generally disgusted by starvation.

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:44

Catza · 12/12/2025 17:40

I don't know... I used to work with this gorgeous voluptuous woman who looked 100 times more put together than me on an average day. So I am not entirely sure how much weight matters in terms of "looking your best". Extreme outliers excluded, of course.

She would have looked even better if she was a healthy weight. There really aren't any exceptions to this IMO.

sprigatito · 12/12/2025 17:43

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:42

It's not socialisation, it's evolution.

It’s both. Socialisation is an evolutionary feature in humans.

andanotherproblem · 12/12/2025 17:43

Yes absolutely, I used to be skinny, size 6/8 and was constantly complimented on my looks, received more attention. Now I’m overweight, I can’t stand to look at pictures, never receive compliments and no attention whatsoever

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:42

Toothfairy89 · 12/12/2025 17:14

I don't know. I think we are socialised to think that thinner is more attractive tbh, so when someone is thinner we automatically think they must look better, and features typical of someone larger are automatically "unattractive"

I personally feel better when I'm thinner and feel more confident in myself but tbh I'm not sure if I actually think people around me actually look their best when thinner

It's not socialisation, it's evolution.

Naws · 12/12/2025 17:41

I think in general people do, yes.

Having said that, according the NHS BMI calculator I could gain over a stone and still be in the healthy range.

But I'd look and feel awful.

Catza · 12/12/2025 17:40

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:33

You'd look shiter if you were obese or underweight though

I don't know... I used to work with this gorgeous voluptuous woman who looked 100 times more put together than me on an average day. So I am not entirely sure how much weight matters in terms of "looking your best". Extreme outliers excluded, of course.

GaIadriel · 12/12/2025 17:39

Yes in general. Except when somebody has a high weight/BMI from being muscular but isn't fat (e.g. athletes).

boxofbuttons · 12/12/2025 17:37

Agreed with a PP that you have to choose between face and body. At the 'ideal' weight for my body my face looks much less nice - I suit having slightly more filled out cheeks, I look younger and less haggard.

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:35

Frequency · 12/12/2025 17:08

Mostly. Although I think some people suit being heavier. Adele, imo, looked better, bigger. Her smaller frame is, of course, healthier for her, but to me, she looked more attractive when she was bigger.

She was also a teenager when she was fat. Youth confers layer of beauty which fades very quickly especially if you're obese.

BillieWiper · 12/12/2025 17:35

I don't think I do. But I have been diagnosed with ED. I don't really believe I have it anymore but I still see me at a healthy weight being too big.

I think it's because I have very wide shoulders, and a short torso. Weight goes on my top half and belly only and legs look disproportionately skinny.

Tryingatleast · 12/12/2025 17:35

People don’t know when to stop with weight loss. I’m fed up of people being excited that they’ve lost too much weight, I’ve friends that look gaunt and are eating ridiculously, having cut out whole food groups they needed (carbs, dairy and advocados are the enemy my ass!!), posturing at other friends who don’t feel the need to lose weight and not realising they’ve turned cranky and food obsessed!

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:34

Toddlerteaplease · 12/12/2025 17:08

I looked awful at my ‘healthy weight’ I was far too thin.

If by healthy weight you mean BMI 18 then maybe - but nobody will believe you looked too thin at BMI 25. That's ridiculous.

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:33

Catza · 12/12/2025 17:03

Always? No.
I am a healthy weight and some days I look positively shite.

You'd look shiter if you were obese or underweight though

NancyMitfordsLeftGlove · 12/12/2025 17:32

Yes, absolutely.

FreeOnFriday · 12/12/2025 17:26

Toddlerteaplease · 12/12/2025 17:08

I looked awful at my ‘healthy weight’ I was far too thin.

Don’t be silly.