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Original poster

Brother has appointed himself executer of will AIBU to be concerned about this

37 replies

User00000043297 · 12/12/2025 14:06

My parent died a couple of years ago, with an incomplete will, I think it was drafted but not finalised but apparently that doesn't matter and for all purposes, no will has be left so laws of intestacy applies instead. For various reasons a couple of years went by (I'm not sure how relevant the reasons are, but I'm caught between creating an unreadable long post and drip feeding!) and now new solicitors have been engaged by surviving parent as estate really needs to be wound up. I don't know much about law. I know my surviving parent did not want to be an executer and I thought there would be a discussion about who among our siblings would. There are 4 of us. I have since found out that a couple of months ago my brother applied to be sole executor. Now I understand this isn't a fun job, it's time consuming and can be stressful, so on one hand, I feel I should probably just be grateful I don't have to worry about it and appreciate it has been taken out of my hands. But on the other hand, I'm struggling with there having been no prior discussion (or update since). I'm not saying there's any reason to assume there's something fishy going on. But could there be? Is this just an attempt to expedite things? Is there any benefit to being executer that I am missing? Would it be sensible or a waste of time to apply myself... sorry for the long post. I just don't know if I'm being silly or it is a little off. Any thoughts very welcome.

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 12/12/2025 14:24

Sorry, cross post

poetryandwine · 12/12/2025 14:23

User00000043297 · 12/12/2025 14:19

They were married yes, I think the assumption was that the estate passed to the spouse, that's what was in the draft. Apparently this isn't the case, but I think I'm reading conflicting information online about how anything remaining is divided.

Show quote history

I am seeing what I quoted above as the law for England and Wales since 2014, OP.

Are you in Scotland or NI?

Original poster
User00000043297 · 12/12/2025 14:23

poetryandwine · 12/12/2025 14:20

Nowadays in England, amounts over £322,000 are shared between the surviving spouse and children

Show quote history

After initial 270k has gone to spouse? We are in Scotland if that makes any difference, I'm not sure

OP posts:
Original poster
User00000043297 · 12/12/2025 14:22

stichguru · 12/12/2025 14:18

In terms of what happened when your parent died, is there any good reason to believe they didn't want everything to go to your surviving parent? If not, then there is no need for an executor or anything. Everything will be eventually transferred through marriage. Just make sure your surviving parent writes a clear will and names the executor(s) clearly.

I'm even more confused now - yes, the draft will said everything was to go to remaining parent, and we assumed that was all fine and what would happen. Then new solicitors were contacted by my brother who said this wasn't permitted, an unsigned will is not good enough and intestacy is the only legal way forward

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 12/12/2025 14:20

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 12/12/2025 14:12

I am a little confused. Were your parents married? If so, surely the estate just passes to the surviving parent if there was no will left with any other instruction.

Has your brother been appointed sole executor of the surviving parent’s will?

Nowadays in England, amounts over £322,000 are shared between the surviving spouse and children

Original poster
User00000043297 · 12/12/2025 14:19

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 12/12/2025 14:12

I am a little confused. Were your parents married? If so, surely the estate just passes to the surviving parent if there was no will left with any other instruction.

Has your brother been appointed sole executor of the surviving parent’s will?

They were married yes, I think the assumption was that the estate passed to the spouse, that's what was in the draft. Apparently this isn't the case, but I think I'm reading conflicting information online about how anything remaining is divided.

OP posts:
stichguru · 12/12/2025 14:18

In terms of what happened when your parent died, is there any good reason to believe they didn't want everything to go to your surviving parent? If not, then there is no need for an executor or anything. Everything will be eventually transferred through marriage. Just make sure your surviving parent writes a clear will and names the executor(s) clearly.

MissMoneyFairy · 12/12/2025 14:16

Do you know why its taken so long if your parent died several years ago. You brother would need to have applied for letters of administration, do you know who the solicitors are and why they are not being administrators. Who does your surviving parent say are the administrators of the estate. Just because he applied doesn't mean it was granted. What have the solicitors been asked to do, if he is sole executor then why appoint a solicitor.

poetryandwine · 12/12/2025 14:16

Hi, OP -

I am sorry about the loss of your parent. It sounds like it has been difficult for your surviving parent to move forward.

Laws of inheritance under intestacy are very clear, and different in each nation. The executor has a duty of trust to all heirs.

I agree your sibling should have discussed this, but I don’t think it necessarily follows that they are trying anything underhanded. Your surviving parent’s solicitor will certainly protect their interests and may be willing to act for you, too. The executor owes all the heirs transparency.

Any chance your parent has asked this solicitor to be the executor?

Greggsit · 12/12/2025 14:14

Unless your brother appears likely to be ripping you off, then there's no benefit to him in doing it. You've already said that a solicitor was appointed, so there will be oversight of what he does. Just be grateful someone is stepping up and doing a thankless task.

Snoopysimaginaryfriend · 12/12/2025 14:12

I am a little confused. Were your parents married? If so, surely the estate just passes to the surviving parent if there was no will left with any other instruction.

Has your brother been appointed sole executor of the surviving parent’s will?

Sunflower3000 · 12/12/2025 14:09

Being an executor is a pain, and it’s harder when there’s more of you (as often, all the executors have to sign all the things, so if you’re geographically dispersed that’s makes everything take longer). But - there should have been a discussion, and potentially concerning that there hasn’t been. Can you ask for an update / how things are going / if they need any help, just to get a bit of an idea of what’s going on?