Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Snotty reply from ‘friend’

160 replies

TheOpalFox · 12/12/2025 00:13

If you asked someone what there up to and they replied what do you think I’m uoto at this time.
Would you be annoyed ? That’s a snotty reply in my eyes ?

OP posts:
Springtimehere · 12/12/2025 04:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Andonemorething25 · 12/12/2025 04:00

TippityTappity2 · 12/12/2025 01:01

This! Far too many people on this planet are very comfortable with their disrespect. It’s jarring.

Show quote history

But the Op started it by sending a pointless message!
I think it’s rude to interrupt someone’s evening just because you are bored.

Snorlaxo · 12/12/2025 03:59

It’s hard to know if it’s snooty or not because it depends if friend does the same thing at 9pm (9pm on a Thursday) or not. If she does and she feels that you don’t listen then it’s understandable. If it’s something that you’d like to hear about and would never guess in a million years , then it’s a conversation starter and not rude. If she doesn’t want to talk to you because she’s in a bad mood then she should have ignored your message until she felt like talking to you.

SheSaidHummingbird · 12/12/2025 03:52

@TheOpalFox No. A snooty reply would be "Please use spellcheck."

TableLegs001 · 12/12/2025 03:28

I wouldn’t make a fuss if they were clipped or short in other texts then I’d be annoyed but a one off reply I would probably not think too much of it.

DoreensLemonDrizzle · 12/12/2025 03:20

Do you always ask the same question? There is a woman in my friendship circle who asks that exact thing, and it is irritating.

marmalade007 · 12/12/2025 03:08

It's a bit of an odd question from a friend. More normal would be "Hi. You busy? I'm bored . Up for a chat?"

JayJayj · 12/12/2025 02:22

I mean 9pm on Thursday, chances are chilling a bit before bed??? What answer was you expecting? If you wanted to chat I’d have started a conversation not just “what you up to?”

WallaceinAnderland · 12/12/2025 02:19

What DO you think she was up to OP? You know her better than us.

OuijaBoard · 12/12/2025 02:18

If her meaning isn't obvious (e.g., she does the same thing at 9PM every night, or every Thursday night, or whatever) then I don't see the point in automatically taking offence. I'd probably have replied "no idea; that's why I asked!"

Topseyt123 · 12/12/2025 01:50

It's a bit of a rude response. If I didn't want to answer or engage with anything at that time I'd probably have just ignored the message until tomorrow.

I must say though, I'd find it a bit odd and irritating if someone just messaged me saying "what are you up to?" at that time, or at any time really. So maybe there's more to this?

FuzzyWolf · 12/12/2025 01:43

As the saying goes, ask a stupid question…

Hankunamatata · 12/12/2025 01:41

Id reply 'tap dancing?'

MsAmerica · 12/12/2025 01:18

Your post is too vague. Maybe you were calling at a time when you should have been expected to know that the person had been sleeping, or was preparing for an exam, or packing for a trip, or recovering from an illness.
You sound very thin-skinned.

StrawberryJangle · 12/12/2025 01:10

What was your answer?

QuickPeachPoet · 12/12/2025 01:04

Smiless · 12/12/2025 00:20

9pm...do they have young kids? Sounds like the response a frazzled mama might send while getting kids to bed.

Absolutely shit excuse for being rude.
If she doesn't want to be nice, she can just not reply. OP would have got the message that she doesn't want to talk.
And calling her 'mama' to make it sound cute does not make it any better. Reproducing does not give you a green light to be a twat.

TippityTappity2 · 12/12/2025 01:01

Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:48

Still no need to be rude to people. An old saying.....if you have nothing nice to say....say nothing!

Show quote history

This! Far too many people on this planet are very comfortable with their disrespect. It’s jarring.

TippityTappity2 · 12/12/2025 00:59

I’m assuming you know this person well and you’ve read between the lines. I would say that’s not the response I would send to a true, mutual friend, or expect from one. You clearly didn’t expect that reply, so is it out of character for them?

In any relationship, communication is key. Tell them how you feel and ask for clarification surrounding your friendship. Maybe they’re not feeling the same way you are. Even if they’re going through something, you don’t deserve to feel insecure in your friendship.

PollyBell · 12/12/2025 00:55

She could have worded it - ask a stupid question? But she didn't

CherrieTomaties · 12/12/2025 00:55

Depends on the friendship I think.

Me and my best friend of over 20 years talk to each other like that. We’re really sarcastic with one another and call each other dickhead.

However, if it was to a friend I wasn’t as close with I wouldn’t send something like that.

ChampagneJen · 12/12/2025 00:53

There’s clearly more to this story, though it’s probably not a page-turner…

ScaredOfFlying · 12/12/2025 00:51

what were you trying to achieve by sending the message? It’s a really lazy way to communicate- makes the other person feel obliged to write a coherent response but you haven’t offered a single bit of info about yourself or said what it is you want to talk about. I’d send you a snotty reply too.

Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:48

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 12/12/2025 00:45

Maybe they think you're irritating asking the same questions over and over

Still no need to be rude to people. An old saying.....if you have nothing nice to say....say nothing!

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 12/12/2025 00:45

Maybe they think you're irritating asking the same questions over and over

Jenpen31 · 12/12/2025 00:44

I just dont think there was any need for that reply OP. 9pm isnt that late.....even if you are settling down for an early night.....just say so. No need for sarcasm. 9pm is early to me though. I'm a night owl.....