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Original poster

Husband building up resentment

237 replies

Jamans · 11/12/2025 23:56

I hired a decorator recommended by someone I know. My husband wasn't keen on him and wanted someone else but I went with my friend's recommendation.
It turned out to be a disaster; the final cost was double our estimate as we had to get someone in to fix the mess.
We've taken a big financially hit and it's set us back.

However my husband is seething. He won't initiate conversation with me and tends to avoid me as much as possible. I don't know what to do. I've apologised. He's taken no interest in the house or our finances.
Ive apologised and there isn't much more I can do.
i think he needs to come to terms with what's happend so we can move on.

OP posts:
Pinkissmart · 12/12/2025 07:06

As in a painter decorator or an interior decorator?

Winterwonderwhy · 12/12/2025 07:03

I would be pissed too. Why didn’t you get other quotes?

randomchap · 12/12/2025 07:02

Sounds like he's furious and dealing with it badly

Has anything happened like this before? Hasty decisions meaning wasted money, or him acting like this?

Original poster
Jamans · 12/12/2025 05:40

steff13 · 12/12/2025 02:34

If he didn't like the decorator why didn't you choose someone you both liked?

I wanted it done quickly and this person came with a personal recommendation. My DH wanted to get quotes from other people.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jamans · 12/12/2025 05:38

Lurkingandlearning · 12/12/2025 02:21

Have there been other times when you did what you wanted to do regardless of his opinion? It just seems like a bizarre reaction from someone who has no interest in the house or money.

But it would be an understandable reaction from someone when there is history of what they say being disregarded. Maybe he is at the end of his rope and can’t be bothered to waste his breath.

He has shown no interest in the house or money ever since I hired the decorator. He was very keen in investing and saving but every since this mess he seems to have switched off. He says I can make all of the decisions going forward.

OP posts:
IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 12/12/2025 03:31

Our of interest, how did he go from doing such a good job of decorating her house that she recommended him, to making such a hash of your decorating that it was bad enough someone else had to do the whole job again.

steff13 · 12/12/2025 02:34

If he didn't like the decorator why didn't you choose someone you both liked?

Lurkingandlearning · 12/12/2025 02:21

Have there been other times when you did what you wanted to do regardless of his opinion? It just seems like a bizarre reaction from someone who has no interest in the house or money.

But it would be an understandable reaction from someone when there is history of what they say being disregarded. Maybe he is at the end of his rope and can’t be bothered to waste his breath.

Pigeonsandgiraffees · 12/12/2025 01:31

You made a decision in good faith and chose someone who had been recommended to you. This is perfectly normal. You couldn't have known in advance that this person would be unsuitable, and if you had known this, obviously you wouldn't have hired him.

What is it about these facts that your husband is struggling so much with? Or is he just a bully, OP?

TheCosyViewer · 12/12/2025 01:30

These things happen, wasn’t your fault. It’s frustrating and annoying of course but your DH is being childish and showing his true colours. Stop apologising and tell him firmly if he doesn’t stop sulking, you can’t see a future together.

Vaxtable · 12/12/2025 01:17

He needs to grow up

i would just let him sulk and just carry on as normal, being bright and breezy

LakieLady · 12/12/2025 00:19

He's being childish, but I can also understand him being pissed off.

You can't turn the clock back though, so he needs to just suck it up.