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AIBU?

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Original poster

I can bury him under the patio for this, right?

72 replies

Changingplace · 11/12/2025 17:37

‘D’H is currently munching a bag of crisps and he’s poured the bag out onto the cushion on the sofa and is eating them off it.

I can kill him can’t I? Vile human being.

I can also hear every crunch and lip smack and he also just started playing out some shite on his phone even though the tv is on.

OP posts:
AgnesX · 11/12/2025 19:41

Has anyone any tips for shrubs or plants that are winter flowering; perhaps a mix for the man of all seasons ....

ReplacementBusService · 11/12/2025 19:36

Omg imagine if this was a man posting about burying a woman under the patio for slurping crisps off a cushion. I have called 999 and also reported this post to Mumsnet. I am speechless and literally shaking.

Zimniy · 11/12/2025 19:33

Homicide in the public interest. No custodial sentence.

Titasaducksarse · 11/12/2025 19:32

Give me your address and I'll help

Brendahollowayjustlookwhatyouhavedone · 11/12/2025 19:30

That's out and out mink behaviour!!
It's not hard to use a bowl.

Hire a mini digger and bury him deep 🪦⚰️

Kingsleadhat · 11/12/2025 19:30

There's not a jury in the land that would convict you. In fact, you'd probably receive some kind of honour. Maybe an OBE (Outstanding Burial Excuse)

Luckyingame · 11/12/2025 19:29

Oh, I'm not sure if this is a "buryable" offence, although it's odd.
Is it his last bag of crisps? 😁
You reminded me of the comedy series (possibly Saturday evening dinner?), where the wife says to her husband "Martin, don't eat out of the bin!" 😂

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 11/12/2025 19:28

Oh my god! I would have killed him 3 times over for that little lot!!!!

MrsTrellisOgleddCymru · 11/12/2025 19:26

You ought to plan ahead for such occasions! I have a hole I’ve had dug for years just in case it’s needed. So far my DH has been lucky, but I’m afraid if he’d done what yours has, it’s into the pit he goes!

4crackers · 11/12/2025 19:22

BoarBrush · 11/12/2025 19:20

I'm actually sitting here dumbfounded. Why?

Very likely because he knows it is gross behaviour and will seriously antagonise his wife

BoarBrush · 11/12/2025 19:20

I'm actually sitting here dumbfounded. Why?

dontforgetme · 11/12/2025 19:02

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon😂😂😂 fucking brilliant

Catpiece · 11/12/2025 19:00

wtf? That’s a new one on me. I’d smash him to pulp

Motnight · 11/12/2025 18:58

Dig, Op, dig.

Daleksatemyshed · 11/12/2025 18:57

If you do it soon there's still time to do some nice pots of bulbs over him Op. You can look at the daffodils and smile quietly to yourself

Schol · 11/12/2025 18:30

such a shame he went missing when you were out with me and I can account for your whereabouts the whole time.

4crackers · 11/12/2025 18:25

You’re leaving him OP?

RokaRocker · 11/12/2025 18:06

Yea totally BTB (bury the bastard)

Original poster
Changingplace · 11/12/2025 18:04

NewNameNewMeNow · 11/12/2025 17:59

Happy to provide an alibi.

Will give you the nod 😉

OP posts:
wizzbitt · 11/12/2025 18:04

NewNameNewMeNow · 11/12/2025 17:59

Happy to provide an alibi.

Me too. We were with OP in the pub 😉

HoppityBun · 11/12/2025 18:03

In the context of what’s going on here, I think that we can reasonably say that “She” would not have invented plates.

HoppityBun · 11/12/2025 18:03

In the context of what’s going on here, I think that we can reasonably say that “She” would not have invented plates.

Original poster
Changingplace · 11/12/2025 18:03

VoodooQualities · 11/12/2025 17:54

Yes of course you can but Mods can you delete this thread please, the last thing op needs is a paper trail that will lead the cops to her door.

I appreciate your support! Damn, should’ve name changed 😬

OP posts:
Needapadlockonmyfridge · 11/12/2025 18:02

Easier if you have paving slabs than solid concrete...

I gather pigs are also a useful solution. Much less evidence to bury once they've had their fill!

RaininSummer · 11/12/2025 18:01

What a strange and revolting thing to do. Grease marks all over your cushion.