Newborn circumcision

You would make it illegal even in countries where it saves thousands of lives every year, and is reccomended by leading health organizations?

It’s evil - it’s GBH inflicted by the babies own parents.

Okay, so you'd be okay with it (or, at least, not denounce the parents as abusers) if it had a significant health benefit.

Appreciating that, even in developed countries, it is only relatively recently (around the 1970/80s) that scientific opinon started to shift on the risk/reward analysis, at what point did (for example) Christians in the US and UK who continued the practice - perhaps not spending their days keeping fully abreast of the latest scientific analysis - cross the threshold from "responsible parent" into "child abuser"?

Again, I do think that the lack of compelling medical benefits in modern day developed countries means that it is ethically wrong on a bodily autonomy basis, but a lag between shifts in public perception and scientific analysis is not unusual, particularly when even the current consensus on the purely medical aspect is nuanced.

It's male genital mutilation! Simple as!

Agree with you completely Gringle x

Circumcision should be illegal globally. It's the ritualistic mutilation of a child. Absolutely appalling that your husband would even consider allowing it to happen.
My parents raised me with the belief that religion is nothing but a choice - and your child should make his own choice as to whether he wants part of his penis being removed.

It was widely practiced in the UK, for health reasons, for a time (prior to hygiene improvements and medical advances, post WW2).

It is still widely practiced (though diminishing) among non-religious people in the US.

The feelings of a person defending a baby against completely unncecessary abuse most definately trump those of any dickhead who thinks that it is ok.

A parent who causes completely unnecessary suffering to their child has failed in their moral duty as a parent and, frankly, is a fucking arsehole.

I desperately hope you feel able to
advocate for your son in this scenario because he needs you to. The fact that this is still allowed for non medical reasons is outrageous. It isn’t less traumatising because he is young. It will hurt him.

So, in those countries it could be argued that it is a medical necessity then? At worst a medical preference? But OP isn’t in one of those countries is she? Nor are the ones in developed countries who do mutilate their children so that point is moot. So, again, parents who care more about their culture/religion than they do their children are abusers.

"Medical necessity" is a high bar. In many countries, the World Health Organization explicitly reccomends it on a health benefits basis. Are parents in those countries - acting on expert advise to deliver positive health outcomes - child abusers, because it doesnt meet the "necessity" threshold?

What you mean is his views don’t trump hers AND VICE VERSA. I know there’s a general disregard for the feelings of anyone male on here but you can’t marry into a different culture and expect only your feelings to be taken into consideration. It doesn’t work like that. If his feelings don’t trump hers then her feelings don’t trump his either. That’s what an equal partnership looks like.

They’re often not done under any anaesthetic

I would not risk putting a healthy baby under general anaesthetic unless it was to 100% needed!

This. barbaric unless medically necessary.

Benefits that outweigh the risks?
if this were the case then surely it would be widely practiced outside of religious circles?
it is certainly not the case that most uncircumcised boys and men experience complications of having a foreskin requiring intervention, so what do you mean?

Cutting off body parts of newborn babies, entirely without medical necessity ie ‘body modification’, in the interests of religious or cultural beliefs is child abuse. It is mutilating the genitalia of children, unable to give permission. Any form of unnecessary mutilation of a child does not command respect and neither does their religion or cultural beliefs.

It is absolutely not the same as fgm. How ignorant.

I am strongly opposed to neonatal supervision in modern, developed countries (on a bodily autonomy basis) - but honestly I think your attitude is hyperbolic and really quite hateful.

In terms of medical benefits vs risks - those are pretty much a wash in the context of developed countries in the 21st century. In many places around the world, though - and probably just a few generations ago in developed countries, the medical benefits have outweighed the risks.

It's not surprising that a medical procedure that for most of human history and in many places today, has been or continues to be beneficial, has not immediately ceased when the risk/reward analysis has become more marginal.

I really do disagree with it and would support it being banned in the UK (save for out of medical necessity or for adults with informed consent), but child abusers, unworthy of respect? Absolutely not.

It's very different to FGM. It's not about a patriarchy trying to preserve virginity or reduce sexual enjoyment. It does have health benefits.

It's mutilation no different to FGM.It needs to stop and only mothers can lead the way. Using religion as an excuse for barbarism is not ok . do not back down.

OP try to read up about the reasons circumcision is done in Islam. Contact an Imam to understand the religious reasons behind it. I do think it’s outdated like so many religious requirements from all religions, but it will serve you well to have facts when being questioned by the in laws.

Also from their perspective, as annoying as they are (which is amplified after having a young baby) they probably are worried that it’s not in line with Islam.

Speak with your husband. When you don’t communicate it can blow up into much bigger problems. I’m sure you accommodate a lot so your husband will be understanding. Good luck!

Yours is the better position by default as it doesn't involve harming a baby (or anyone not old enough to consent).

It bodes well that you're able to change your mind on this, you're mumming hard & your responsibility is to your son and absolutely no one else - not your DH & not his family.

Stick to your guns, be calm & clear & confident that YOU are right in every single way on this one thing. There's no battle to be had cos there's only one possible outcome - your son not being butchered.

He might have no memory but the body keeps score.

TBF if this destroys her marriage it's not much of a marriage

I'd probably be OK with it, but the OP isn't, and that is that.