Newborn circumcision

"Women victims of FGM are disfigured and are often left with life long debilitating consequences."

Yes because no male has ever suffered disfiguring life altering consequences or even died from botched circumcisions...🤔

Even plenty of male "survivors" try to "restore" their removed foreskins, by stretching what skin they have left.

It's ignorant and unnecessary violence committed on an innocent boy. That's all it is. Even worse that it's in the name of religion. Fight your corner. You have my support, and that of most men I know.

By aligning male circumcision which is unnecessary, to FGM which is life altering mutilation is outrageously disrespectful to the female victims of FGM. Males survive circumcision and go on to have healthy sex lives and procreation. Women victims of FGM are disfigured and are often left with life long debilitating consequences.

Please don’t use the word ‘irrelevant’ when justifying conflating the two. They’re a world apart.

That said, I would also outlaw cultural male circumcision. If religious groups can’t teach their sons to just wash their cocks properly they need to start. It’s the 21st century ffs.

Oh OP! I'm in a similar-ish boat (married to a Muslim) except I've said the whole time that I'm not doing that to my hypothetical son, so would be less of a surprise to my DH if the time came & I objected.

It actually doesn't say anywhere in the Qur'an at all about circumcision and you're perfectly allowed to change your mind about your son once he arrived. I'd start off pushing the first point and watch them to try to justify that. It's difficult where you've got the wider family involved but I'd refuse to engage with them on that and just speak with your DH. It's your son, not theirs!

As other posters have said, in the UK both parents need to give consent too so they can't go above your head!

Good luck xx

Exactly! Just tell them you’ve had it done. Failing that, tell them to fuck off.

It's not like DH's rels will ever get to see whether it was done or not?

"That's like comparing someone taking 2 adult teeth out of a 12 year old's mouth, (under anesthetic,) to someone pinning a 12 year old down to a chair, and smashing all their teeth out with a hammer (with NO anesthetic!)
Nowhere near the same thing."

This is not really a fair analogy. Plenty of boys have their foreskin removed in non sterile environments without anaesthetic. Nelson Mandela described how it was for done to him and how he had to stand in a line with a village elder moving down said line and the boys needing to prove their manliness by remaining silent throughout.

Both are a form of mutilation.

This is not a compromise I would make, knowing it means my baby has an unnecessary medical procedure that comes with both pain and risk of complications. There are a growing number of people from religious backgrounds that typically have circumcised who are not doing it anymore.

If he wants to follow this practice as an adult that is his choice. This should not be done on infants.

I have a friend who compromised and agreed to this for her sons, to appease her husband, she deeply regrets it. I have other friends who have refused and feel very confident with their decision.

FYI there are Facebook groups for both Jewish & Muslim parents who don't want to circumcise. I have a friend who joined one and received lots of support.

I would get a statutory declaration signed by a JP stating that you do not consent to having your child circumcised. I would then file it away somewhere safe (friend’s house?). I would then make it very clear to DH and family that now that you have read about it, you are strongly against it and if this is done to your child against your will, you will have charges laid against them. It is not a religious requirement, but a cultural one.

I despair of some people. I really do.

And nor did it originate from any faith that exists in the modern world.

Well, yes - that aligns with everything I have said.

There are no reasons for routine circumcision that are not bettered by simple hygene and safe sex education.

In a world - and certainly in countries such as the uk - where soap and condoms are a thing, circumcision should only be legal if strictly medically necessary.

And the idea didnt come from those countries

But the countries they promote it in are all majority Christian, and none are in the Middle East?

Its the same thing in that its mutilation of the genitals. The reason and method is somewhat irrelevant in terms of the comparison of why both are abhorrent and abusive.

Do we compare and contrast different types of other assault and say one is worse than the other? Its like the bad old days where people dismissed rape in marriage as not being quite as bad as stranger rape down an alleyway.

Both pretty bad right?

Don’t do it!! If your husband was really religious surely he wouldn’t have married you, or would have expected you to convert. My family is Jewish but I would never circumcise my child.

I think the WHO like the UN have some questionable lobbyists which result in a skewed support for ME countries cultures at times.

I dont agree with the WHO

Repeating this

It should be illegal, no ifs or buts

Medical reasons only.

Fucking sick in the head!

I am religious, but no way would I put a child through an unnecessary medical procedure in the name of any God.

It’s not about ‘feelings’ through is it? It’s one party being concerned about putting a baby through surgery which in the Uk, is medically unnecessary unless there is a specific condition that requires it. Surgery that although very safe, of course carries risks. In the UK, three babies have died in the last 20 years as a direct result of circumcision.
Concern isn’t ‘disregarding’ the feelings of anyone. It’s a sane, loving and sensible parental response to putting a healthy baby through surgery, exposing him to unnecessary pain and risk.

Gosh how arrogant of you to come on and tell me what I mean. Actually what I said is what I meant so no need to rewrite my post for me. If you have a different view then post on your own behalf not on mine thanks.

Your argument is non sensical in this situation there’s no compromise for circumcising a baby you either do or you don’t. So sorry but in this scenario one person’s view will trump another. Like it or not that is how it works in this situation and it has nothing to do with equal partnerships.

It’s nothing to do with disagreeing because it’s a male view point that’s just a lazy argument on your behalf to try to invalidate someone’s opinion. I’m always going to side with the person choosing not put a baby through pain for cultural beliefs. If the OP had a baby girl and her husband’s family wanted to cut her genitals would you be telling everyone that his feelings should be taken into consideration and it must be an equal partnership? I doubt it.

Sorry, but this is not the case.
Google will tell you anything. You need to look and understand proper medical studies, their bias and their implications.
Historically, large studies showing a benefit vs risk for infant circumcision have been mostly undertaken in America, with a likely significant cultural bias. Some of these studies have also been done in countries where benefits may be greater due to greater risk of STIs, HIV or different hygiene practices.
More recent large scale meta-analysis have showed that there is no clear health benefit for healthy infants in the UK, other than where it is medically necessary for specific reasons.
I’m sorry that your OH had to have it done and it is a more difficult procedure as an adult. However, a small proportion of adult males requiring treatment or circumcision obviously doesn’t justify unnecessary surgery on a baby.
At least 3 baby boys are known to have died in the last 20 years post circumcision and as a direct result of the surgery. There will have been may more who suffered complications, short or long term.

I feel you OP. My son was born prematurely and had a lot of health problems and the last thing I would do was let him be circumcised. My DH well I suppose his family kept pushing it and I was so so scared they were going to take my son and do it anyway.
Eventually he got to around 6 years and my DH was like it’s happening this year no more faffing and I said over my dead body, if you have to disown your son because of it then go ahead. My son was absolutely petrified of it too , as well as being ASD.
We had a few weeks of not talking and he spoke to his parents who were sad (🙄) but respected my decision as a mother. I do get sick of his aunties and cousins asking ‘why is he not circumcised’ - like why is my son’s penis of so much importance to you ?! They have called my son dirty before and look down on him as if he’s not accepted. Makes me really angry but luckily minimal contact with them.
I really hope you can meet a mutual agreement 😢 it’s really hard when you are actually put in that position.