Newborn circumcision

Best never done at all.

Your scrambling different issues together.

this twat still wants to have his son mutilated for no reason. He just needs to be told it's not happening.

the barbaric multinational needs to stop.

you don't need counselling to understand cultural things change. He doesn't need to see it as abuse to recognise it's no longer acceptable.

...try re-reading the conversation.

HE wants to do it to his Son!!!

No, you shouldn't be agreeing to strap your child down whilst someone cuts part of his body off, regardless of your husband's culture.

If you marry someone in certain cultures, this is their belief. Didn’t you discuss it?

Acknowledging that you were mutilated, for any reason, is never going to be a simple process. Especially when the ignorant are still carrying out the mutilation routinely today.

Or perhaphs all that can be avoided by him simply acknowledging his parents did what was culturally expected & they thought was right st the time. But with better education about it he can choose differently.
Which is the case for nearly all case of child abuse. It's still a process to go through.

not everything has to involve so much navel gazing & therapy/counselling.
Great, then I suppose the issue will be solved in no time, right?

Or perhaphs all that can be avoided by him simply acknowledging his parents did what was culturally expected & they thought was right st the time. But with better education about it he can choose differently.

not everything has to involve so much navel gazing & therapy/counselling.

Why does he need to have a piece of anatomy removed? Hold your ground.

Hi @Mumtobe2025x3 I hope I'm not too late with this thread. I absolutely agree that it is a barbaric procedure and well done for standing up to your husband. But if you want to effectively resolve this issue, you need to understand that it's not just about religion or culture. I assume your husband is circumcised himself; so if he were to acknowledge that ritual cirumcision is a form of child abuse, he would need to accept that he himself has been abused/failed by his parents, and it's something very painful and hard to come to terms with. Denial or brushing it off (my parents did X Y Z to me and I turned out very well) is much easier and comfortable. And it's one thing that allows child abuse (including circumcision and FGM, while I appreciate the latter is way more barbaric) to continue. In the long term if you want to solve this issue I recommend reading on intergenerational continuity of child abuse and possibly couple conselling.

There is no compromise. The husband will get it done without her permission. I hope I am wrong but doubt it.

That's the compromise. That the bairn decides for himself.

No is a full sentence! I wouldn’t either, screw religion, that poor little baby having a foreskin removed b
because of a book is crazy - fuck the parents too and tell them you’ll take them to court if they start saying they’ll do it anyway

There are several people on this thread saying that it's preferred rather than required for Muslims. I would look into this if I were you - find the religious backing (find a respected book or teacher who says this) so that you can show your DH and he can show his family that it's not required.

There's no compromise here because either you circumcise your baby or you don't. One of you will have to acquiesce to the other.

And since it's your son's foreskin not yours (and it's certainly not his grandparents') then the only correct way forward is to not go ahead based only on your husband and his family's opinions. If it's traditional for Muslims to do it, let your son make his own decision to do it or not, when/if he makes the decision to be a Muslim.

Good on you OP. Why is it you that has to compromise on this? Why not him? At least, if you leave it, your son has an option.

My DH is circumcised and my sons are not. Why put a tiny baby through such a thing, with the risk of serious complications, if it's not necessary? I would only have circumcised for sound medical reasons, never choice.

My sons are now young adults and have said they are glad that I left the choice up to them. They feel it should be their body, their choice.

It's absolute madness to do that to a child, it's unbelievable that it's still legal.

Do not let his mother look after your child and don't let him either. I don't know how you could stay married to someone who has admitted to wanting to cause injury to your baby.

That's no mean feat to stand your ground in this situation, OP, bloody impressive!

Just keep a close eye cos your DH's idea about compromise seem a bit different to everyone else.

Good luck

It's child abuse. Don't do it.

Stand up for your child. Its barbaric, disfiguring mutilation and has absolutely zero benefits.

I would hate to feel pressured to have my baby boy circumcised. I understand the religious beliefs but personally I find it unnecessary and potentially risk taking. Also it should be a boy's choice to have it done, not enforced. This is where different beliefs clash and it's unfair for one to force the other.

I'm glad you've come to a firm resolution, MtB and of course you aren't being unreasonable. I hope your husband and his family can come to terms with it. I'm afraid that because of their reluctance to use his correct name, I would be cautious of leaving him unattended with them for a very long time. I'd also make it very clear to them that having it done without your consent is a criminal offence and medical misconduct that you would report.

Stick to your guns, you've made a totally reasonable decision and he's your baby.

I have seen a circumcision and I can confirm it IS barbaric, and it IS a form of mutilation.

Your baby is now quite old to have this done. The child I saw was 2 weeks old.

I can confirm he screamed like I’ve not heard an infant scream. Perhaps 2000 years ago when wandering the desert a foreskin was a risky thing to have (although I doubt that too) but now it is just a ridiculous cultural practice based on an archaic belief system.

Please don’t mutilate your baby. I say this as a mother whose son had a circumcision due to phimosis - under general anaesthetic. And it was still bloody painful for the poor kid.

I’m Jewish op and agree it’s barbaric.