My BIL was always the golden child of MIL. He’s the youngest and the only one she took to live with her in the divorce. The rest including my DH stayed with FIL.
She has never hid the fact he is golden child, would constantly ring us telling us about how amazing he is and never ask about us and our children. Her relationship with the rest of her children has suffered as a side effect and SIL is almost no contact with her. I’ve never had a great relationship with her either.
She became ill a few years ago and became very dependant on BIL. They became almost emeshed. She would not visit us (2 hours drive) at all, we would only visit her. The whole time she would tell us how amazing BIL who lived with her was. I could feel a lot of resentment from DH.
BIL has recently gotten married and is almost no contact with her now. MIL constantly rings us crying about how he won’t see her, won’t answer the phone, ignores her etc. Their wedding was awkward with his wife almost ignoring her. He has actually moved near us and we get on with them really well. His wife is lovely and she hasn’t gone into detail but she has not had an easy time from MIL.
MIL now visits us all of the time I think hoping to see BIL. She drops gifts for him off at the house yet nothing for us or our children. BIL will not come and see her when she is here always making excuses he is busy. He and us have told her not to leave gifts but she still does.
The more he ignores the more she tries to put on us. Inviting herself for Xmas I think trying to find a way to see BIL. She gets incredibly jealous if she finds we have done anything with FIL and BIL is there.
I am at my wits end now because I know she only comes to see us and kids now BIL is near by. AIBU to say enough is enough and also BIL needs to take some responsibility here?