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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a late invite isn’t a proper invite and to decline on that basis?

112 replies

whinch · 11/12/2025 12:38

Aibu?

OP posts:
Beamur · 11/12/2025 12:45

It wouldn't bother me. 😄
I'd.go if I wanted to.

BillieWiper · 11/12/2025 12:45

I would go if I wanted to see those people and do that thing. I wouldn't really care if it was late. An invite is still an invite.

Clefable · 11/12/2025 12:44

WhereIsMyLight · 11/12/2025 12:43

No. People have budgets and capacity issues so sometimes they want to invite someone but need to invite someone else that they don’t want to first. Sometimes invites aren’t posted until late, someone misplaces them or forgets about them.

If you want to go, you like the person and are free - go. If you don’t like them, don’t want to go or aren’t free - don’t. It doesn’t matter about how late an invitation is.

This. Do you want to go? Do you like this person?

Don’t look to be offended where there’s no need to be.

YellowCherry · 11/12/2025 12:44

Last time I was invited to a 50th I think I was definitely on a B list as it was only a couple of weeks before the event. But I wouldn't (and didn't!) decline on that basis. I'm not bothered if the birthday girl has other closer friends. Go if you want to and you think you'll enjoy it, don't if you don't.

Pollqueen · 11/12/2025 12:44

If you want to go, go. If you don't want to go, don't go. Works for me every time

WhereIsMyLight · 11/12/2025 12:43

No. People have budgets and capacity issues so sometimes they want to invite someone but need to invite someone else that they don’t want to first. Sometimes invites aren’t posted until late, someone misplaces them or forgets about them.

If you want to go, you like the person and are free - go. If you don’t like them, don’t want to go or aren’t free - don’t. It doesn’t matter about how late an invitation is.

Anjo2011 · 11/12/2025 12:43

Sounds like you are making up the numbers after someone else has dropped out (?) If this is the case, I agree YANBU. I’m not being an afterthought guest.

PumpkinSpicePie · 11/12/2025 12:42

Fine to decline. Have people pulled out and they've cast around for replacements?

OrigamiOwls · 11/12/2025 12:41

Needs a bit more context really.

But if I feel like my invitation is an after thought then I'd generally decline.

PinkyFlamingo · 11/12/2025 12:40

Not much info to go on!

NotrialNodeal · 11/12/2025 12:39

Depends is this person a bit scatty usually? If so I would accept if I wanted to go. Otherwise yeah, would feel like an after thought so would decline.

The1976 · 11/12/2025 12:39

No YADNBU

Trust your instincts