To think a late invite isn’t a proper invite and to decline on that basis?

Wouldn’t bother me. I got invited to a kids bday party 2 days before last week - clearly to make up the numbers. We happily went!

People are giving different answers as so little info, but from what I can eventually gather is a group of friends agreed to meet for a meal, something you’re sure there was no late availability for, so had to book ages ago, then they realised either they forgot to invite you or had a spare place and asked if you wish to join? And uou feel like it’s a pity invite and they don’t really want you there, so yes sure, decline.

none of us can tell you if the place had late avails. No one can say it’s a pity invite or not. What I can say is we often have to put ourselves out there, and that no one there would be thinking about it being a late invite.

That's all a bit over the top and dramatic ! so if you had 5 good friends that you
invited for breakfast 1 dropped out you would go through your contacts last minute to fill the space ?

Sums it up nicely.

Seems an overly negative attitude to me. I'd be delighted with a last minute invite for a place that's usually booked up. Surely that just means they arranged it with someone else and now they can't go so you're the next people they thought of? which is surely not a bad thing? Unless they have some habit of always making you feel second best or a fallback, it seems a bit harsh to refuse on those grounds.

I've always found assuming the best of people serves me better than I see people faring who frequently seem to find a reason to critique people's behaviour without good grounds. Not saying you're like that, as I said, I don't know if there's history here that might give you good reason to feel annoyed.

Do you want to go? Go.

Do you not want to go? Don't go.

Do you want to have a strop and complain on Mumsnet but do fuck all about it in real life? Congrats, you're already there.

Don't be silly, that's no way to organise invitations. Only very scatty people would do it that way.

Seriously? You think that if you are not at the forefront of someone else's decision making then it is some kind of offence? You seriously can't envisage a situation whereby the organiser claps their hand to their head and thinks "Shit, I've forgotten to invite so and so!" and so then remedies it by GASP! issuing a late invitation!

Here's some news - you might not be the centre of the universe, and sometimes people forget even close friends if they are busy and organising something.

YANBU. Late invitations are very rude except under certain circumstances: for example once I invited a friend of mine to the ballet because my other friend was unwell: there was no a or b list, I just didn't want to go on my own and I was offering the ticket free. It wasn't a case of preferring the friend who filled in to the friend who dropped out, as it was an evening out, not a party.

I dunno.....if I was feeling really pissy, I'd go and do my best shark grin at the organiser.

My mum sends invites out and you can bet she will forget a few people.
Including her own kids.
So she sends more invites out nothing wrong with it.
Its just not everyone can think of everything and everyone.
As a pp as said why do so many people now get offended with the simplest things.
making a mountain out of a mole heap.

Depends who, if it was from me it would be because both of us thought the other had invited or I just plain forgot, I can be quite scatty

As the old Mumsnet adage goes, it's an invitation and not a summons.

It's fine to be asked last minute. Accept or decline based on whether you fancy attending, not based on when you were invited.

Some of the best times I've had involved a last minute, spur of the moment inclusion.

I suppose its ok to feel a bit miffed. But if it suited me to go then I would go but if it didnt suit me I wouldnt bother.

It’s not always afterthought tbh. We had to majorly cut our guest list due to cost but when the obligatory family invites were sometimes declined we could then add in friends we would have liked to come if not for money.

Just go along and drink all their champagne :)

Ok, so there’s a group breakfast and the organiser didn’t invite you and you know they wouldn’t be happy to see you. Clearly you don’t get on. Your friend has realised you’re not invited but invited you anyway because they want you to be there. But you genuinely can’t go anyway.

So you’re not an afterthought. The person organising it doesn’t like you and you aren’t surprised by this. It was deliberate choice on their part to not invite you. Your friend still wanted you there because they like you and want to spend time with you, despite knowing it’ll piss off the organiser. I don’t really see the problem. Especially as you also have plans.

I would go, but I cba to waste my time on being petty, we all have different budgets and different priorities and I am fully aware I am not the main character in my friends and acquaintances lives.

You weren't the first choice. So what? We won't be everyone's first choice and if we declined everyone who didn't see us as first choice we probably wouldn't have much of a social circle.
If you want to go then go, if you don't then don't. Spitting your dummy out and declining just because you weren't invited straight away is petty.

Life's too short to be always standing on one's pride.

It's fine if you aren't available, but I don't see a need to be offended that you weren't invited first. Any guest list will necessarily exclude someone and that's fine. If I decide to have a dinner party and only have space for eight that doesn't mean I don't like people nine and ten on my list. No one is top of everyone's list and it's nice to socialise with different groups at different times.