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Original poster

To feel guilty for being signed off work 26 weeks pregnant??

40 replies

tigerlilt · 11/12/2025 11:57

Basically that. I have an extremely demanding and stressful job (a&e nurse) and i’m really really struggling. I’m at high risk of pre term labour and i’m worried the stress and non stop nature of my job is going to push me over the edge. I deal with high emotion, stressful situations daily, don’t get breaks and my manager has done nothing to help. I’ve been suffering from pain, exhaustion, anxiety and have been to MAU several times due to injuries (a blow to the stomach being one of them) at work.

Im already going off at 31 weeks due to being told baby girl could come any time from 32 weeks, and have 2 weeks annual leave from the end of december anyway. I spoke to my midwife on monday and she has suggested getting my GP to sign me off, at least for a few weeks.

So basically, am I being a wimp for being signed off when I only have 10 shifts left with my annual leave, and should i feel like a dick for being signed off just before christmas?

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 11/12/2025 14:34

You are being ridiculous. If you are ill take the time off you need. If you are ill, cancel your annual leave!

Dulcie6 · 11/12/2025 13:59

Go off sick & don’t feel guilty.

We are all just number in work. You have to look after yourself/your baby.

I had been off for 5 months due to seizures during pregnancy. Line manager told me ‘this is why we’re lucky we can work from home’. I thought nope, fuck you, and went off sick. People in the workplace don’t give a shit about anyone.

Pumpkinmagic · 11/12/2025 13:15

Nothing to feel guilty for, if you are feeling the way you are and your midwife has recommended you are signed off then I would listen to your midwife. Don’t feel guilty, try and relax and rest and have some time to look after yourself before baby arrives. You have to look after yourself, no one else will put you first.

NoKnit · 11/12/2025 13:12

Think I voted the wrong way whoops

You should not feel the slightest bit guilty about this. In plenty of countries in Europe you'd be off automatically anyway as a nurse not allowed to work whilst pregnant

Sleepsto5anta · 11/12/2025 13:06

I'm not NHS but am public sector and the key thing in my organisation is to be signed off on sick leave, not mat leave, to ensure you're not using up your mat leave early.

Pregnancy related sickness isn't counted for discipinary actions, promotions etc.

And absolutely take the sick leave - you need to put you and your baby first. As you say, it's only 10 shifts, they'll have to manage. Your manager has been unsupportive, so don't feel as if you owe them anything personally.

Original poster
tigerlilt · 11/12/2025 12:40

InveterateWineDrinker · 11/12/2025 12:32

I'd really, really check this. My sister had her mat leave triggered at 32 weeks after being signed off with a pregnancy-related condition. This was admittedly nearly 20 years ago but it completely torpedoed her plans and finances and there was nothing she could do about it.

Show quote history

I’ve done a lot of research as was worried about this and i’m 99% sure. Can anyone confirm?

OP posts:
InveterateWineDrinker · 11/12/2025 12:32

tigerlilt · 11/12/2025 12:07

I don’t think so- i’ve expressed how much i’m struggling and nothing has been done. I was worried about this but I’ve been assured they can’t trigger early mat leave unless i go off sick after 36 weeks?

Show quote history

I'd really, really check this. My sister had her mat leave triggered at 32 weeks after being signed off with a pregnancy-related condition. This was admittedly nearly 20 years ago but it completely torpedoed her plans and finances and there was nothing she could do about it.

GripGetter · 11/12/2025 12:26

Writing this as a former 25 weeker, of course YANBU.

SiberFox · 11/12/2025 12:25

You are extremely replaceable at work. You aren’t replaceable at all for your family. Priorities! You’re absolutely not being ‘lazy’ and making the right decision

FullOfMomsense · 11/12/2025 12:19

If you quit they'd replace you within a few days. It's just a job, you owe it nothing. What would you say to a patient in your situation?

Original poster
tigerlilt · 11/12/2025 12:07

Hankunamatata · 11/12/2025 12:00

Would your trust not move you to admin role in the dept?

I was moved after a risk assessment. Plus I really didnt want my maternity leave triggered early.

Edited

I don’t think so- i’ve expressed how much i’m struggling and nothing has been done. I was worried about this but I’ve been assured they can’t trigger early mat leave unless i go off sick after 36 weeks?

OP posts:
Spanglemum02 · 11/12/2025 12:01

No. You need to get as far along as you can with pregnancy and work is not helping with that. Having a baby prematurely is incredibly stressful and risky and doesn't always end happily.

Hankunamatata · 11/12/2025 12:00

Would your trust not move you to admin role in the dept?

I was moved after a risk assessment. Plus I really didnt want my maternity leave triggered early.

blowingBubblesinABreeze · 11/12/2025 11:59

please, please don't feel guilty. Think of it as prioritising the needs of your baby.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 11/12/2025 11:59

Yabu 🙄 they will cope without you

Take time to enjoy your pregnancy and prep for your lovely baby 🥰

And Merry Christmas 🎄