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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boss being intimate in his office

135 replies

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 11:54

A colleague recently told me that my boss and his wife are actually not having lunch in his office everyday but getting it on. I’m fairly new to the medium sized business.

I don’t know why but I feel that this is highly inappropriate. I rarely go in the office. And neither do other colleagues it’s where boss does his paperwork mostly as the owner. I just think it’s highly unprofessional. AIBU? It’s a place of work. I told dh and he didn’t see why I was bothered

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 11/12/2025 12:38

You jelly OP 😏

KoiTetra · 11/12/2025 12:38

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:07

I don’t know. The workplace is supposed to be a professional environment. It just feels inappropriate to me

Can anyone see or hear?

If his private office has glass walls or the whole office can hear them then yes 100% I agree with you totally inappropriate.

If no one can see or hear them then so what, as another poster said, his company, his office, his wife, crack on.

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 12:38

mumofoneAloneandwell · 11/12/2025 12:36

God forbid a woman try to keep her man happy 🤷‍♀️

good sex makes women happy too! It's a man's job!

Not sure how good it is when you often do it in a place where you must keep quiet, once in a while I get, but every lunchtime?

MissMoneyFairy · 11/12/2025 12:37

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:21

No one hears or sees anything. But like I said we come to work to work. Not be involved in each others sex lives

I'd no one sees or hears anything then how do you know apart from 2nd hand gossip from a relative, has anyone ever knocked on the door to find out.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 11/12/2025 12:37

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 11:59

He often airs it out!

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😭😭😭

Happyapplesanspears · 11/12/2025 12:37

In my mind they started as colleagues, then started shagging at lunch time before finally getting married. They need to meet every lunchtime as one is worried the other will find someone else to have the lunch time shag with.

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 12:36

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:32

Well let’s assume it is true. I’m shocked more people don’t think this is highly inappropriate

Let's assume you go to the staff toilet with vibrator.

Is it appropriate?

I mean, if we are "assuming" based on nothing, can you discuss how you masturbate in the office, because the cleaner's cousin of the baker down the road happened to have told us?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 11/12/2025 12:36

God forbid a woman try to keep her man happy 🤷‍♀️

MissDoubleU · 11/12/2025 12:35

I think if it were obvious and you had to listen to it etc then absolutely it would be inappropriate.

I can see how it would make anyone uncomfortable to be unwillingly dragged into someone’s else’s fetish. Getting off that there are people right outside who can hear them or know what they’re doing, or that it’s “the office” and they might get caught. You haven’t consented to be drawn into that sort of game.

However, like I say, if you had no idea it was happening until you were outright told then I would say it’s being kept private enough to be their business. You don’t have to like it but you don’t actually know for yourself that it’s happening.

Salvadoridory · 11/12/2025 12:34

Unless its a school or children's home, who cares?

Faceonthewrongfoot · 11/12/2025 12:34

So, in an office that neither you nor most of your colleagues go to, your boss is apparently having sex on a regular basis with his wife? And you only know this because the wife's cousin has told you, nobody has actually seen any evidence of it happening?

I mean, if it were true, then yes, its a bit grim. But since it sounds like a rumour that nobody can actually back up with evidence, I'd ignore it as gossip and get on with my day...

Beerlzebub · 11/12/2025 12:34

Was I the only person reading this who thought "Good for them!" 😆

MissedItByThisMuch · 11/12/2025 12:33

Well I find it quite refreshing that he’s shagging “being intimate with” his wife rather than his secretary. That doesn’t happen often on MN.

Honestly I’m not sure why you’re getting so worked up about what is really just salacious gossip that may well not even be true.

NotrialNodeal · 11/12/2025 12:33

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:07

I don’t know. The workplace is supposed to be a professional environment. It just feels inappropriate to me

That's the kick for them I suppose.

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:32

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:28

that is vile.

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It made me LOL.

RumNotRun · 11/12/2025 12:32

But you said no one really goes into the office, so there's no risk of you interrupting anything or seeing/hearing anything. If it's not when other people are around (so no kink about shagging where they can be overheard as a PP suggested) then who cares? It would be different if you went into the office every day and they were up to jiggery pokery (as my nan used to call it) while you're next door, but if no one else is there, I genuinely don't see the issue?

Original poster
Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:32

Well let’s assume it is true. I’m shocked more people don’t think this is highly inappropriate

OP posts:
sprigatito · 11/12/2025 12:32

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:28

that is vile.

Show quote history

It is, but you sort of brought it on yourself by posting this indignant bosom-hoiking thread about something that you don’t even know is happening! You’re not being “involved in their sex life”, are you, if all you have is a silly rumour. You could just get on with your job and leave other people be.

Beerlzebub · 11/12/2025 12:31

So you had no idea about this, until your boss's wife's cousin told you 🤔

BillieWiper · 11/12/2025 12:31

How do they know if the door is locked and curtains drawn? Can they hear sex noises?!

What do you want to try and do about it? He owns the company so answers to noone.

And of course he'll deny it and probably discipline you for defaming him or rumour spreading or something?

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 12:31

If she starts screaming in her best porn star voice and you hear loud spanking and banging against the wall, you can get your knickers in a twist.

When you have no idea and no way of knowing what they are actually doing, let it go.

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:30

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:25

If it were one of his staff it would be seen as massively inappropriate and possibly a sacking offence. But just cause he’s the owner it’s acceptable? If I had my own business I wouldn’t have double standards. We should all maintain professionalism.

Show quote history

Again, you don't even know if it's true.

Nobody has ever heard or seen anything happen. Therefore, how is it affecting/involving you? Ultimately, you just don't like the thought of something that may (or may not) happen in your boss's office - a thought which only even occurred to you in the first place because someone else, not your boss, gleefully made a point of telling you.

Dollymylove · 11/12/2025 12:30

MartinAynuss · 11/12/2025 12:27

As long as he wipes the spunk off the walls and desk, I don't think I'd be too bothered

And makes sure his fly is zipped 😉

JudgeBread · 11/12/2025 12:29

Mind your business. It's not like he's railing her over the photocopier, you wouldn't even have known if the office gossip hadn't told you, and you have no idea if it's actually true or not.

So. Mind your business.

labamba18 · 11/12/2025 12:28

The boss’ cousin is the one hugely in the wrong, they are either making stuff up or spreading private details - either way is fire them if I was the boss!

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