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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boss being intimate in his office

135 replies

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 11:54

A colleague recently told me that my boss and his wife are actually not having lunch in his office everyday but getting it on. I’m fairly new to the medium sized business.

I don’t know why but I feel that this is highly inappropriate. I rarely go in the office. And neither do other colleagues it’s where boss does his paperwork mostly as the owner. I just think it’s highly unprofessional. AIBU? It’s a place of work. I told dh and he didn’t see why I was bothered

OP posts:
gannett · 11/12/2025 12:55

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:21

No one hears or sees anything. But like I said we come to work to work. Not be involved in each others sex lives

But you're not involved in it at all? You don't even know for certain if it's happening, which is the definition of "not involved".

The cousin is definitely being inappropriate though - either spreading unnecessary gossip or making up a weird sex lie.

HelpMeGetThrough · 11/12/2025 12:55

Shagging at lunchtime, so they are having a “grub screw”.

Nevernonono · 11/12/2025 12:55

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:53

I'm afraid this thread has just made me drift off into a pleasant daydream of, um, 'surprising' my DP in his office with an under-the-desk blow job.

Sadly his office fully open plan.

You’ll be under the desk, it’ll be fine!

Screamingabdabz · 11/12/2025 12:54

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:32

Well let’s assume it is true. I’m shocked more people don’t think this is highly inappropriate

I agree op. It’s absolutely inappropriate and unprofessional. I think the cool girls are on to wind you up. YANBU.

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:54

And even if it's not true but the employees believe it to be true then it's still pretty gross because they are sitting there working believing the bosses office is being used as a sex boudoir.

But that isn't the boss's fault, as he isn't the one who has been making up a load of bullshit and spreading it around the office.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 11/12/2025 12:54

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 12:38

good sex makes women happy too! It's a man's job!

Not sure how good it is when you often do it in a place where you must keep quiet, once in a while I get, but every lunchtime?

Show quote history

Hard agree, my post should read:

good forbid he try to keep his wife happy!!!

You Know Yes GIF
Nevernonono · 11/12/2025 12:54

I’m not sure this is believable!

I mean just why on a regular basis would you be shagging in the office and always at lunchtime?

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:53

I'm afraid this thread has just made me drift off into a pleasant daydream of, um, 'surprising' my DP in his office with an under-the-desk blow job.

Sadly his office fully open plan.

Runrunrudolph · 11/12/2025 12:52

Yes another thread where the responses are unbelievable.

I agree with you OP.

If it is true it is disgusting - totally unprofessional and double standards. And even if it's not true but the employees believe it to be true then it's still pretty gross because they are sitting there working believing the bosses office is being used as a sex boudoir.

I don't know what you can do about it OP apart from look for another job where people still know how to behave in a civilised manner.

Lemonysnickety · 11/12/2025 12:50

Ah another one of the randomly implausible MN posts appearing more regularly these days.

As an aside I think having nookie with your other half is a perk of having your own business if bad TV shows are to be believed.

InSpainTheRain · 11/12/2025 12:49

Years ago I worked in a factory, there were 3 rumours that went round all the time: the CEO was shagging his PA every lunch time, the factory manager had a child with a woman on the factory floor and she was allowed to start later in the day so she could take the child to school, the receptionist was having an affair with a guy that run the maintenance team. I don't know about the last rumour, but the first two were completely untrue as I found out for sure later after I'd left. I was only pleased I hadn't furthered the rumours! So maybe your boss does shag his wife in his office - or maybe they just have lunch together and a chat!

Dgll · 11/12/2025 12:49

Loads of people do inappropriate things at work. This seems pretty harmless.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 11/12/2025 12:45

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:32

Well let’s assume it is true. I’m shocked more people don’t think this is highly inappropriate

But why would we assume its true?

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:45

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:32

Well let’s assume it is true. I’m shocked more people don’t think this is highly inappropriate

I don't think people are saying it's not 'inappropriate'. I think people are just saying that they wouldn't care and pointing out that it doesn't actually affect you or your working day in any way whatsoever, inappropriate or not. Technically it's probably inappropriate, but it's also not actually causing anyone any problems and your reaction seems really OTT to me.

Some people would think it was 'inappropriate' and 'unprofessional' for you to be posting on Mumsnet during your working day, but I think most of us would say 'Well, I suppose technically people probably shouldn't post online on company time, but meh, who cares? As long as they get their job done, I'd just ignore it.' I just think the same applies to your boss dipping his wick at lunchtime.

BunnyLake · 11/12/2025 12:44

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 11:57

The wife’s cousin (works here) is the one who told me. Everyone knows it and just ignores it. Act like it’s perfectly normal.

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He’s the boss so do you want to leave the company because he isn’t going to?

I can’t judge, I have indeed had shenanigans myself in the office (when such things were just greeted with a knowing smile and not a P45).

FeliciaFancybottom · 11/12/2025 12:44

Are they doing the desk sweep of passion?

BettysRoasties · 11/12/2025 12:43

Unless you can see or hear them at it, it doesn’t matter.

Wont be the first or last people to have sex at work.

Serpentstooth · 11/12/2025 12:42

Have they invited you to join them? No ? Then mind your own business. Perhaps they're writing redundancy notices behing their closed doors.

HelpMeGetThrough · 11/12/2025 12:41

Are you employed by Matt Hancock OP?

BeNoisyFish · 11/12/2025 12:41

Is it a medical place of work or one with children around?
Even then I'm sure couples have done it in their surgeries and classrooms and specially if they own it. Sometimes a couple lock the office to nap or let their guard down not because they are having sex.
Do you or the cousin fancy the boss?

APatternGrammar · 11/12/2025 12:41

YABU to believe unsubstantiated gossip.
If you would have seen/heard it yourself of course it would be wildly inappropriate.

blankcanvas3 · 11/12/2025 12:41

I’ve had sex with my husband in his (very private) office and it’s bloody good fun 🤷🏼‍♀️ why is the wife’s cousin telling you this anyway?!

WinWhenTheyreSinging · 11/12/2025 12:40

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 11/12/2025 12:21

YABU to use the phrase "being intimate".

Amen to that. Why has this ridiculous twee-ism taken hold on here?

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 11/12/2025 12:40

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:32

Well let’s assume it is true. I’m shocked more people don’t think this is highly inappropriate

Yeah, I'm with you, OP. It's very inappropriate. What if someone walked in on them?

Original poster
Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:40

KoiTetra · 11/12/2025 12:38

Can anyone see or hear?

If his private office has glass walls or the whole office can hear them then yes 100% I agree with you totally inappropriate.

If no one can see or hear them then so what, as another poster said, his company, his office, his wife, crack on.

Show quote history

sure but it’s also MY workplace. It’s just grim imo.

OP posts: