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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boss being intimate in his office

135 replies

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 11:54

A colleague recently told me that my boss and his wife are actually not having lunch in his office everyday but getting it on. I’m fairly new to the medium sized business.

I don’t know why but I feel that this is highly inappropriate. I rarely go in the office. And neither do other colleagues it’s where boss does his paperwork mostly as the owner. I just think it’s highly unprofessional. AIBU? It’s a place of work. I told dh and he didn’t see why I was bothered

OP posts:
deluxeducks · 11/12/2025 13:12

I might find it unprofessional, but as long as it didn't affect me personally (didn't have to hear it, sit on the sofa in his office, etc), I'd just ignore or pretend I hadn't heard that. There are many worse things a boss can do, and if you're otherwise satisfied with the work environment, why does it really matter? You don't have to admire everything about the man to work under his leadership.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 11/12/2025 13:07

I'd be more concerned if it was the married boss getting it on with the secretary. I'd also be wary of going anywhere near that room in case of.... secretions. Probably take a UV lamp.

Offices are such sordid places, aren't they? It's his company, therefore his office, you can make your disapproval known but you can't really tell him 'no'. Just leave it all be and let whatever happens, happen.

ChattyCatty25 · 11/12/2025 13:06

I find it gross. Just because they're being discreet doesn't mean it's acceptable - especially if other people have to be sitting on seats or at tables where there have been bodily fluids.

He probably walks around his office afterwards touching everything with dirty hands.

Greggsit · 11/12/2025 13:05

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 11:59

He often airs it out!

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Or to put it another way, sometimes he opens the window. You haven't really provided much evidence that the rumour is true.

BettysRoasties · 11/12/2025 13:05

HelpMeGetThrough · 11/12/2025 13:04

Perhaps his wife has him on a Performance Improvement Plan.

Need the laugh back 😂😂😂

Nevernonono · 11/12/2025 13:04

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:57

Perhaps I could build a pile of lever-arch files to hide behind.

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Hmmm, I think with the age of scanners etc, lever arch files are on the wane..

You’ll just have to be discreet, sorry.

But get him to practise his poker face.

HelpMeGetThrough · 11/12/2025 13:04

Perhaps his wife has him on a Performance Improvement Plan.

IwishIcouldconfess · 11/12/2025 13:03

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:21

No one hears or sees anything. But like I said we come to work to work. Not be involved in each others sex lives

Had he asked you to join him??

Faceonthewrongfoot · 11/12/2025 13:03

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:40

sure but it’s also MY workplace. It’s just grim imo.

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Well its not really is it? You said yourself you very rarely go in.

CustardySergeant · 11/12/2025 13:02

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:21

No one hears or sees anything. But like I said we come to work to work. Not be involved in each others sex lives

But you're not involved. He's not demanding employees come and watch is he? Just do your work. That's what you're paid to do.

ilovesooty · 11/12/2025 13:02

You rarely go to the office. Don't get involved in unsubstantiated gossip.

IwishIcouldconfess · 11/12/2025 13:02

Are you always so uptight @Ksassi

Maybe you need a quickie at lunchtime........

butterdish93 · 11/12/2025 13:02

This is healthy, natural and normal and also non of your business!

as long as they’re discreet and still get his work done then I don’t see the problem.

good for them, so many marriages are sexless.

InterestedDad37 · 11/12/2025 13:01

What if it was just him, and he was rumoured to be 'pleasuring himself' every lunchtime? Would that be more/less gross?

pizzaHeart · 11/12/2025 13:00

CrossChecking · 11/12/2025 12:03

If they are having sex in his office then they are clearly being discreet about it given you had no idea prior to your colleague telling you.

What choices do you really have here? Excuse me boss but rumour has it you are shagging your wife in your office and I don't like it? Just stop imagining them having sex and go back to imagining them having sandwiches and it'll be fine.

This ^
and by the way I would be more worried about others shagging someone after hours as your table and chair might be involved in that .

HerVagestyTheQueef · 11/12/2025 13:00

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:56

Civilised is the perfect word

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Sharing unfounded gossip is not remotely civilised.

And I can’t believe that, even if this is happening, it’s a daily occurrence.

Just get on with your job and mind your own business.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 11/12/2025 12:58

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn - posted on wrong thread

Yamahahaha · 11/12/2025 12:58

sprigatito · 11/12/2025 11:58

Well, does his office stench of sex or not?

First time I've come across "stench" used as a verb.

TheTaupeScroller · 11/12/2025 12:57

Runrunrudolph · 11/12/2025 12:52

Yes another thread where the responses are unbelievable.

I agree with you OP.

If it is true it is disgusting - totally unprofessional and double standards. And even if it's not true but the employees believe it to be true then it's still pretty gross because they are sitting there working believing the bosses office is being used as a sex boudoir.

I don't know what you can do about it OP apart from look for another job where people still know how to behave in a civilised manner.

IF is the main word here

I think it's highly inappropriate for the OP to post gossips about her boss with no proof whatsoever on social media during working hours

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 12:57

Nevernonono · 11/12/2025 12:55

You’ll be under the desk, it’ll be fine!

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Perhaps I could build a pile of lever-arch files to hide behind.

Megifer · 11/12/2025 12:57

It is inappropriate but keep your beak out until/if it starts actually affecting you.

Chances are if you raise this rumour, which is all it is at this stage, it wouldn't end well for you and your gossiping colleague.

pinkdelight · 11/12/2025 12:56

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:40

sure but it’s also MY workplace. It’s just grim imo.

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Some people's workplaces are hotels where lots of shagging goes on only a door away. It wouldn't bother me as long as it was out of sight/out of mind and all was otherwise fine at work.

Original poster
Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:56

Runrunrudolph · 11/12/2025 12:52

Yes another thread where the responses are unbelievable.

I agree with you OP.

If it is true it is disgusting - totally unprofessional and double standards. And even if it's not true but the employees believe it to be true then it's still pretty gross because they are sitting there working believing the bosses office is being used as a sex boudoir.

I don't know what you can do about it OP apart from look for another job where people still know how to behave in a civilised manner.

Civilised is the perfect word

OP posts:
Sillysoggyspaniel · 11/12/2025 12:55

Meh, nice for a relationship to have a bit of long term passion. At least they are having sex with their own spouse which isn't usually the case with office sex.

roastedrapidly · 11/12/2025 12:55

I very much doubt they're having sex in his office at lunchtime - your colleagues sound immature and a little bit toxic. I'd be wary of them tbh.