Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boss being intimate in his office

135 replies

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 11:54

A colleague recently told me that my boss and his wife are actually not having lunch in his office everyday but getting it on. I’m fairly new to the medium sized business.

I don’t know why but I feel that this is highly inappropriate. I rarely go in the office. And neither do other colleagues it’s where boss does his paperwork mostly as the owner. I just think it’s highly unprofessional. AIBU? It’s a place of work. I told dh and he didn’t see why I was bothered

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
BauhausOfEliott · 12/12/2025 11:03

Yamahahaha · 11/12/2025 16:32

They're not being that discreet if other people know.

Show quote history

The only reason other people 'know' is that the wife's cousin tells everyone. There's no evidence that she's even telling the truth. So yes, as nobody has ever seen or heard anything untoward, I'd say they are in fact being pretty discreet. Or - and I think this is more likely - the cousin is talking nonsense.

Illbethereinaminute · 11/12/2025 19:42

I can't say I would be bothered by this but I've worked in places where sex on the job happens in cupboards and all sorts.

I have had sex at work although slightly different circumstances in that I worked in a hotel and often stayed over because I was doing a late/early. I had permission on occasions for my husband to sleep over too and sometimes just snuck him in anyway. I had finished work for the night so wasn't being paid, all extra ciricular activities happend off the clock but happened in the workplace nonetheless.

Perhaps why it wouldn't bother me, especially if I was hardly there!

QueenOfHiraeth · 11/12/2025 19:04

This is exactly the type of situation for which the saying "Not my circus, not my monkeys" was invented

Cardamomandlemons · 11/12/2025 19:00

It's probably just an office running joke. If you've never had any reason to suspect, and all you have to go on is one gossipy comment, you can completely disregard it.

oviraptor21 · 11/12/2025 18:47

Mind boggling how many people think this is OK.

Yamahahaha · 11/12/2025 16:32

CrossChecking · 11/12/2025 12:03

If they are having sex in his office then they are clearly being discreet about it given you had no idea prior to your colleague telling you.

What choices do you really have here? Excuse me boss but rumour has it you are shagging your wife in your office and I don't like it? Just stop imagining them having sex and go back to imagining them having sandwiches and it'll be fine.

They're not being that discreet if other people know.

BeNoisyFish · 11/12/2025 14:37

In a way it's sweet it's a married couple, I'd be more annoyed if it were the manager and junior staff or useless colleagues leaving me to answer the phone while the bugger off together.

FOJN · 11/12/2025 14:32

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:07

I don’t know. The workplace is supposed to be a professional environment. It just feels inappropriate to me

Well they're not leaving the door open or popping a "do not disturb, shaggers at work" sign on the door handle so I'm not sure how it's unprofessional.

You have zero confirmation it's true; you're the one being unprofessional by participating in office gossip.

Maybe they did it once and the wife mentioned it to her cousin because it was so out of the ordinary and a bit of a giggle and now it's become gossip about it being a daily thing.

BeNoisyFish · 11/12/2025 14:24

ChattyCatty25 · 11/12/2025 13:06

I find it gross. Just because they're being discreet doesn't mean it's acceptable - especially if other people have to be sitting on seats or at tables where there have been bodily fluids.

He probably walks around his office afterwards touching everything with dirty hands.

Some people use the toilet and dont wash their hands so you should always assume everything is dirty.

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 14:17

ChattyCatty25 · 11/12/2025 13:06

I find it gross. Just because they're being discreet doesn't mean it's acceptable - especially if other people have to be sitting on seats or at tables where there have been bodily fluids.

He probably walks around his office afterwards touching everything with dirty hands.

You're thinking about this in an awful lot of speculative, graphic detail for someone who professes to find it gross.

Nevernonono · 11/12/2025 14:15

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 14:14

But get him to practise his poker face.

I mean, he would, in a way, be poking my face...

Show quote history

Where is the laughing emoji!!

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 14:14

Nevernonono · 11/12/2025 13:04

Hmmm, I think with the age of scanners etc, lever arch files are on the wane..

You’ll just have to be discreet, sorry.

But get him to practise his poker face.

Show quote history

But get him to practise his poker face.

I mean, he would, in a way, be poking my face...

BauhausOfEliott · 11/12/2025 14:12

CustardySergeant · 11/12/2025 13:20

"Sunshineandgrapefruit · Today 13:12
Firstly his wife's cousin should stop gossiping and spreading rumours. That's unprofessional. Secondly, it's not your business what he does with his wife if that even is a hat he is up to."

Oh, I didn't realise they were involving hats in their shenanigans. That is shocking. 🤠

Edited

🎵You can leave your hat on... 🎵

shellyleppard · 11/12/2025 14:09

@Brendahollowayjustlookwhatyouhavedone 🤣🤣🤣

Brendahollowayjustlookwhatyouhavedone · 11/12/2025 13:59

shellyleppard · 11/12/2025 11:58

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions why did I read this in Sheldon cooper voice 🤣🤣🤣

Engaging in coitus 👍😁

Faceonthewrongfoot · 11/12/2025 13:36

ChattyCatty25 · 11/12/2025 13:06

I find it gross. Just because they're being discreet doesn't mean it's acceptable - especially if other people have to be sitting on seats or at tables where there have been bodily fluids.

He probably walks around his office afterwards touching everything with dirty hands.

But what are you finding gross? There's no actual evidence this is happening beyond the wife's cousin telling a new starter "ooh, you'll never guess what Dave and Linda get up to in their office every lunch time, pfnarr pfnarr". Maybe they did it once when the office was deserted and Linda stupidly told her cousin who has massively exaggerated it to every day. Maybe they've never done it and the cousin is a shit stirrer. Maybe Dave once came out of his office with his tie wonky and someone else started the rumour. Maybe they're at it like bunnies every lunch time. We don't know. The OP doesn't know. I don't imagine the cousin or any of the other employees know either, since the OP said they rarely even go in to the office.

The only thing to find gross in this situation is the spreading of unsubstantiated gossip.

ThreeTescoBags · 11/12/2025 13:26

Ksassi · 11/12/2025 12:21

No one hears or sees anything. But like I said we come to work to work. Not be involved in each others sex lives

You're only as involved as anyone else who has read this thread, i.e. you've heard some gossip about it happening.

ginasevern · 11/12/2025 13:24

Well I suppose at least it's his wife, which makes a bloody change from my office life experience.

ocool · 11/12/2025 13:23

Are you sure it's his wife?

Anyway, I reckon they are co sleeping with two little baby monster twins at night.

Mischance · 11/12/2025 13:21

Doing the "paperwork"! - that's a new one!

CustardySergeant · 11/12/2025 13:20

"Sunshineandgrapefruit · Today 13:12
Firstly his wife's cousin should stop gossiping and spreading rumours. That's unprofessional. Secondly, it's not your business what he does with his wife if that even is a hat he is up to."

Oh, I didn't realise they were involving hats in their shenanigans. That is shocking. 🤠

MiddleChildX · 11/12/2025 13:19

At least it’s with his wife 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mydogisblackandwhite · 11/12/2025 13:17

Maybe they have young children and its their only time for a bit of nooky 🤷🏼‍♀️ i would be wary sitting on the chairs tho

Mydogisblackandwhite · 11/12/2025 13:17

Maybe they have young children and its their only time for a bit of nooky 🤷🏼‍♀️ i would be wary sitting on the chairs tho

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 11/12/2025 13:12

Firstly his wife's cousin should stop gossiping and spreading rumours. That's unprofessional. Secondly, it's not your business what he does with his wife if that even is a hat he is up to.