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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is our postman a cheeky fucker?

232 replies

Sam9769 · 11/12/2025 11:02

I have just lost 3 stone in weight and decided to buy a new second hand wardrobe through Ebay. I will admit that I have been purchasing a lot of clothes etc.
Our postman keeps commenting to my husband about the parcels arriving on a daily basis. On one occasion he said to my husband "She must have bought the whole shop by now! The other day he said "There were no parcels for a few days, so I thought that things were under control!"
This is not even a postman we have known for many years, he's only been our postman for about 18 months.

I feel annoyed that he thinks that he has any right to comment on my parcels.
He's job is to deliver the mail and keep his opinions to himself.
Is he a cheeky fucker or AIBU?

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 12/12/2025 02:52

He’s commenting to your husband about your spending and said it’s out of control.Yes, he is a CF.

If you had said it was your MIL instead of your postman you would’ve got entirely different responses.

whattheysay · 12/12/2025 02:48

We have a lot of deliveries to my house and I make jokes like this to the postman and delivery people because I think they must be sick of having to come to my house so often

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/12/2025 00:43

Poor postie. He’s only making conversation

my delivery man says I keep him in business

am I offended

course not

Silverwinged · 11/12/2025 23:08

Growlybear83 · 11/12/2025 19:37

I was responding to the comment by the previous poster who said that the postman ‘would never say it about a woman’ which is clearly an inaccurate generalisation. Of course people have different experiences but the poster had clearly not taken on board that some posties DO make similar comments to men, and contrary to what she believes, do not end up with a black eye.

Show quote history

This postman clearly doesn't. This postman is not the same as your postman. It's a completely different situation. How come you can't see that? This postman ignores OP and clearly isn't joking or he would make the same jokes with OP about her husband if a comparison could be drawn to your situation. Since this is not the case, it's clearly a different situation.

BeanQuisine · 11/12/2025 21:33

MeanWeedratStew · 11/12/2025 20:53

My main takeaway from this thread is that UK posties still knock on the door and talk to people. Here in Australia (at least in my city), they dump your parcel by the front door and fuck off. If you’re very lucky, they might ring the doorbell to let you know it’s there.

Anyway. As you were.

Edited

Depends on where you are in Oz. I live in a small country town and the postie and I have been on first name terms for many years. He always knocks and we often exchange a few pleasantries.

We share a laugh sometimes but he's always polite, never cheeky.

MeanWeedratStew · 11/12/2025 20:53

My main takeaway from this thread is that UK posties still knock on the door and talk to people. Here in Australia (at least in my city), they dump your parcel by the front door and fuck off. If you’re very lucky, they might ring the doorbell to let you know it’s there.

Anyway. As you were.

paulhollywoodshairgel · 11/12/2025 20:07

My Evri guy and I are on first name terms 😂😂 I didn’t get a parcel for a while and he said he thought I was dead I laughed 😂😂

Original poster
Sam9769 · 11/12/2025 19:48

Sassylovesbooks · 11/12/2025 15:57

He's trying to be funny, as in humourous! He's not trying to offend you or your husband! When I moved back to my parents after a relationship break-up, I opened the front door to our postman who was only a few years older than me (so probably very early 30's), and he said 'Morning sexy, you look gorgeous'!!! I was so shocked, I stood there doing goldfish impressions!! 🤷

Is this banter too?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sam9769 · 11/12/2025 19:43

NarnianQueen · 11/12/2025 14:56

I think it’s cheeky to say it to your husband! Little snitch 😂

My DH from now on shall be known as LS "Little snitch".
Thank you. That suits him perfectly!

OP posts:
Runrunrudolph · 11/12/2025 19:39

brunettemic · 11/12/2025 19:26

Furious? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Well it looks like you are easily amused.

Growlybear83 · 11/12/2025 19:37

Zov · 11/12/2025 18:45

This clearly doesn't happen with the OP though, and it doesn't happen with some other posters. Newsflash! People have different experiences! And other peoples experiences are just as valid as yours, as is their opinion, and their right to be pissed off.

Show quote history

I was responding to the comment by the previous poster who said that the postman ‘would never say it about a woman’ which is clearly an inaccurate generalisation. Of course people have different experiences but the poster had clearly not taken on board that some posties DO make similar comments to men, and contrary to what she believes, do not end up with a black eye.

Original poster
Sam9769 · 11/12/2025 19:33

WilfredsPies · 11/12/2025 16:34

Ah, it was a joke and some of us just didn’t understand it. Great. Perhaps you could explain it? Which bit of it are we supposed to find funny? Was it the bit where he implied he’d thought that the OP’s husband had managed to get her ‘under control’? Was that the funny bit?

Show quote history

That is exactly how I felt. Thank you.
The suggestion that I was out of control and he thought that my husband had kicked me into touch and finally got me under control but he hadn't after all because another parcel has now rocked up!
I didn't mind so much the comment about buying the whole shop or other less funny repetitive comments!

OP posts:
brunettemic · 11/12/2025 19:26

Runrunrudolph · 11/12/2025 11:17

Well i agree with you OP.

How condescending and patronising the guys talking about the little woman in that way.

I would be furious. And if your H is joining in with this patter I would be having words with him.

Furious? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Maverick66 · 11/12/2025 19:24

Give me a break!!

Zov · 11/12/2025 18:47

EXACTLY @Funnywonder

Funnywonder · 11/12/2025 18:46

At first I was going to say he’s just being funny. Then I remembered that I don’t find this type of thing funny at all. It’s the repetitiveness. Same joke over and over. The patrolman who used to stand outside our DCs’ primary school was very friendly, but he made the same joke EVERY SINGLE DAY. ‘ Oh hurry up, you’re late today Funnywonder’. Or ‘Oooh, cutting it close today’ Or ‘You’re early today. What happened?’ All on the same theme. I was never actually late picking up my child. I just didn’t want to stand about. He was actually a lovely man. DP got on with him like a house on fire, but then he didn’t have the constant flipping jokes. Funny that …

Zov · 11/12/2025 18:45

Growlybear83 · 11/12/2025 18:42

As I said in an earlier post, my postie and the Evri driver make exactly the same type of comments about my husband’s shoe purchases as they do about my frequent parcels. We both laugh about it with them.

Show quote history

This clearly doesn't happen with the OP though, and it doesn't happen with some other posters. Newsflash! People have different experiences! And other peoples experiences are just as valid as yours, as is their opinion, and their right to be pissed off.

Zov · 11/12/2025 18:43

HD = DH obvs. And he says 'why shouldn't she?' (drive OUR car..) Not why shouldn't I let her?!!' Too late to edit!

Growlybear83 · 11/12/2025 18:42

Silverwinged · 11/12/2025 18:17

Because, 1) he would never say it about a man and 2) it's a trope about "women be shopping" and 3) ignores OP, whose packages he is actually delivering, and talks to her husband about her instead and 4) acts as though her husband is her keeper (like OP was living in Qatar or something).

You think he would show such behavior to a man? Ofcourse not, he'd likely end up with a black eye.

Show quote history

As I said in an earlier post, my postie and the Evri driver make exactly the same type of comments about my husband’s shoe purchases as they do about my frequent parcels. We both laugh about it with them.

Zov · 11/12/2025 18:38

Silverwinged · 11/12/2025 18:17

Because, 1) he would never say it about a man and 2) it's a trope about "women be shopping" and 3) ignores OP, whose packages he is actually delivering, and talks to her husband about her instead and 4) acts as though her husband is her keeper (like OP was living in Qatar or something).

You think he would show such behavior to a man? Ofcourse not, he'd likely end up with a black eye.

Show quote history

This. ^

It puts me in mind of the sexist arseholes I have had to endure over the years (sometimes when I have been with DH.) They see me getting out of the car - our car that we share - and say to HD 'blimey mate, you let her drive your car?!'

DH to his credit says 'it's our car so why shouldn't I?' Confused

AND whenever we're out together, and I am buying something, someone (usually a man, but occasionally a woman) says 'spending all his money are ya?' Or they say to him 'letting her spend all your money are ya?!'

I usually pipe up 'it's OUR money actually, we both warn money, and we both spend money!' (Sometimes DH says this...)

.

Silverwinged · 11/12/2025 18:17

Growlybear83 · 11/12/2025 17:44

@SilverwingedWhy is what the postman said sexist?

Because, 1) he would never say it about a man and 2) it's a trope about "women be shopping" and 3) ignores OP, whose packages he is actually delivering, and talks to her husband about her instead and 4) acts as though her husband is her keeper (like OP was living in Qatar or something).

You think he would show such behavior to a man? Ofcourse not, he'd likely end up with a black eye.

Growlybear83 · 11/12/2025 18:00

suzyowl668 · 11/12/2025 17:58

Yanbu bloody cheek! Probably wouldn't make those comments to a man.

Well my postie and Evri driver make very similar comments to me and my husband. Nothing sexist or rude about it at all.

suzyowl668 · 11/12/2025 17:58

Yanbu bloody cheek! Probably wouldn't make those comments to a man.

Growlybear83 · 11/12/2025 17:44

@SilverwingedWhy is what the postman said sexist?

Silverwinged · 11/12/2025 17:42

Shouldbeworkingnotreadingtalk · 11/12/2025 11:06

The next thread will be from someone saying that these days no one talks or makes polite conversation (ie in shops) .. I can see why you’re mentioning it, but honestly. … Unclench. … and well done on losing the weight.

He's not talking to her though, he is loudly talking about her and making sexist comments to her husband. I wouldn't want to talk to such a bellend either.

I am wondering though, why OP doesn't order everything in one go.