Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Colleague spreading his stuff on my desk

138 replies

Notyouthful · 11/12/2025 08:58

Have asked him many times not to do this. Currently in training so unable to move desks. When he went to the toilet I put all his stuff on his desk. He was upset on returning. Raised this with the development coach and she had a word with him. He still does this.

What are we supposed to do with him?

OP posts:
PInkyStarfish · 11/12/2025 09:38

Do you mean that he is messy so when his own desk is full he moves stuff over on to yours?

If so, pick it all up and put it in the bin. You’ve asked him enough times to keep stuff off your desk.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 11/12/2025 09:38

“Why do you keep putting your stuff on my desk when I’ve asked you not to?” Make him explain himself.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 11/12/2025 09:35

Move it back. Every. Time.

I am not sure how he articulated his "upset" bit I'd be as "upset" as he is.

teawamutu · 11/12/2025 09:34

QueenArnica · 11/12/2025 09:25

Yes really, that’s my view you’re free to express another 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not really a view though, is it? More a sneer.

What do you think the reason is?

Livpool · 11/12/2025 09:33

Keep moving it back - he sounds like a weirdo

itsthetea · 11/12/2025 09:33

Get a bin bag and move stuff from your desk into the bag?

Timetochillnow · 11/12/2025 09:32

Move the desks apart a little, request a desk devider or create a wall with box files!

don’t engage with playing ping pong with his items!

if he’s naturally messy or ADHD he may appreciate clearer physical boundries

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 11/12/2025 09:32

You need one of those spray bottles of water. A little pssht pssht every time he puts something on your desk should do it.

Hmmmmwineandchocs · 11/12/2025 09:29

Keep pushing it back to his desk/put your bag on the edge of your desk as a barrier

QueenArnica · 11/12/2025 09:28

surreygirly · 11/12/2025 09:13

Power play
Really !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL

Yes really. That’s my view and you’re free to have another one 🤷🏻‍♀️

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 11/12/2025 09:26

Come on, OP - we need to know exactly what kind of stuff he puts on there, why/how/when and more details about how he reacts when you put it back!

TheMorgenmuffel · 11/12/2025 09:26

You keep moving it back and every time you do, you tell him to stop.

Either that or put everything he puts on your desk into the bin. While you make eye contact with him.

QueenArnica · 11/12/2025 09:25

surreygirly · 11/12/2025 09:13

Power play
Really !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL

Yes really, that’s my view you’re free to express another 🤷🏻‍♀️

BreezyPeachGoose · 11/12/2025 09:24

How about a light taser each time he does it, gradually increasing the intensity?

ForMyNextTrickIWillMakeThisVodkaDisappear · 11/12/2025 09:20

I’m another who wants to know how he voiced his “upset” when you quite reasonably, put all of the things that belonged to him back on his desk. What on earth would he have to be upset about?

Northerngirl821 · 11/12/2025 09:17

It sounds like he’s deliberately trying to antagonise you so if it was me, I’d play him at his own game. I’d start using his stuff or putting it away in a box or a drawer. If he says anything, cheerfully say “oh it was on my desk so I assumed it was mine/for me”. If he complains about you, claim it was an innocent misunderstanding because the stuff was on your desk. I wouldn’t show any signs of upset, I’d be pleasant bordering on patronising. “Oh dear, I’m SO sorry your pen ended up in my drawer, that must have been SO upsetting for you, oh well never mind!”.

Rattai · 11/12/2025 09:16

Is his desk chaotic? Do other people dump stuff on his desk so he uses yours as overspill?
We need more info

LivingDeadGirlUK · 11/12/2025 09:16

I used to be the one with the messy desk (have a clear desk policy now so I have a messy backpack full of stuff instead now!). My colleague used to build a wall with box files between us as there was no desk divider. When I went on mat leave they swept everything into a box and returned the box to me when I got back. I would never have taken offence, I knew it was chaos. Sometimes one of my colleagues would pick up something at random and it would be from 5 years ago, absolutely no reason to keep it. I did clear my desk before I left, with 13 years worth of stuff it took about a week...

rwalker · 11/12/2025 09:15

Personally I wouldn’t of moved it back to his desk when he went to the toilet
the time to move it is when he puts it there in the first place

all that said there is a lot of information missing and there might be be a valid reason

what is he actually putting on the desk

Yamahahaha · 11/12/2025 09:14

surreygirly · 11/12/2025 09:13

Power play
Really !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL

So what is your explanation for his behaviour?

surreygirly · 11/12/2025 09:13

QueenArnica · 11/12/2025 09:07

OP I would ask him outright, “What do you hear when I say please stop putting your things on my desk?”

He’s either got to say that he’s heard exactly what you said in which case you can ask, “why are you not respecting a reasonable request” or if he claims he didn’t know you can take the opportunity to clarify again for him and check he understands.

I would then follow up with an email copying in a manager spelling out all the occasions you have spoken to him culminating in this last one when you have checked he has understood your request.

This is highly likely to be power play and you need to take yourself out of the game by asserting your boundary. Please don’t sucked into keep moving his stuff back, he’s not worth your energy and it’s probably what he wants.

Good luck!

Power play
Really !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 11/12/2025 09:13

Id tell him ... if I find things on my desk that I don't need I will bin them.

Springtimehere · 11/12/2025 09:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BruceAndNosh · 11/12/2025 09:11

Brefugee · 11/12/2025 09:07

put anything that lands on your desk that is not yours in a box. Do not let him have access to the box.

Just before lunch, and just before the end of the day, put the box on his desk.

lather rinse and repeat.

I like this!

Seeline · 11/12/2025 09:10

What sort of stuff is it?

I might just put anything I didn't need in the bin.... Clear desk leads to better work environment.