Colleague spreading his stuff on my desk

You need to set some rules, ‘Anything that comes on to my desk… :

• Is mine;
• is binned/ blown up/ damaged/ put in jelly/ sold/ painted pink/ hit with a mallet…’

I take being admonished in good spirits and drag my stuff back to my desk but it doesn’t change my overall chaos and I get told off frequently.

don't you think other people get fed up with having to tell you 'frequently' to move your crap out of their space?

Go all Johnny Castle and say ‘this is your desk space, this is my desk space’ - I uttered these same words last week only to be met with a bemused look from my 22 year old colleague.

5 pages trying to get the OP to explain what is actually happening and she's not coming back is she?

Yesterday I was at a HIIT class. The benches are quite close together and one of the exercises needed space. The man next to me had spread his billion dumbbells all around his bench so was using "my" space (they're numbered spots, each has its own mirror and equipment). I was hot and sweaty and the exercises were timed so, pissed off though I was, I just moved my bench away from him to give myself more space. He saw me do this, said "thank you" as he clearly thought I was clearing even more space for him, and then encroached further into my space. This is after he'd thrown my towel off of my dumbbells on my rack onto the floor in my space to access my heavy dumbbells (which he thought I wouldn't be using).

I heard him, stopped my exercise, pushed my bench right up to the edge of the border between his, hemming him in between me and the wall. I don't think he could believe what I did, just stood there open mouthed. He left the class early.

These men think they DESERVE more than you. It makes them feel like men. They need to be told they're little men, with little dicks, and to play in their own little playpens.

Oh so not happening ,I'm very territorial over personal work space and he would be under no illusion that anything on my desk that's not to do with my work will be treated as refuse and binned.

If you placed it carefully on his desk you need to change your method. Scoop it into a bin... If he proclaims what have you down to his stuff. Claim you thought it was crap abandoned on your desk. And maybe he needs to manage his stuff better.

You’re dealing with a dickhead who doesn’t understand personal space. Can you make a ‘wall’ from a desk tidy / books / bookends so he can’t just spread things by shoving them forward? Obviously, you shouldn’t have to, but having to repeatedly move his ever-encroaching crap is going to get very tiring.

This is me! I am quite a chaotic person and I tend to arrive in a flurry, sit down chatting away, plug in my laptop while still talking and leave an array of lunch bags: chargers etc around me. Some people say to me very clearly…get your rubbish off my desk! Others more of my mindset barely notice and all our stuff mingles together! As with so many things in life, your personality will dictate how you respond. I take being admonished in good spirits and drag my stuff back to my desk but it doesn’t change my overall chaos and I get told off frequently. Office life will always bring its little bug bears!

I think we really need to know what stuff it is. Beyond a laptop, keyboard, water cup and notepad/pen what stuff does he have? I'd be temped to "capture" it and put it in my desk.. "oh I thought it was mine it was on my desk". But of course the real way is to pull him up when he does it. I'd say "for christ's sake ian, stop piling your crap on my desk" and make him pick it up. No way would I be copying in managers on an email about this!

Anything on your desk he clearly doesn't want, so bin it

He doesn't have a cousin who has a bedroom full of her own clothes but then also stores an additional big rail of her clothes in her brother's bedroom that he uses once a week, does he?!

Why did you wait until he went to the loo to move his stuff back on to his desk? Why aren't you moving it back, in front of him, as soon as he does it? (And if he gets upset, asking him why he thinks it's OK to keep doing this?) Push back (literally and metaphorically) - verbally challenge his behaviour and stop being so passive.

I had this once. Make a wall of cheap cardboard magazine files, filled with all your very important stuff. (Bonus if heavy books to reinforce the boundary). Innocent, innocuous, yet effective

Hang a carrier bag from the corner of the desk and if he moves things on to your desk, pick them up and drop them in the bag...........

Just put it back, straight away. Can you make any kind of barrier using say, filing trays, to clearly mark the edge of your desk?

I had something like this once, with a colleague, who was very deliberately crossing boundaries /playing a personal dominance game. The next time he did the action when there were other colleagues around to witness it, I was ready. I took hold of his hand mid action and held it still, made eye contact and asked him very loudly if he had comprehension or memory problems, as he had been asked not to do what he was doing multiple times, both by me and boss. He was gobsmacked, stuttered, never did it again. I think it was the combo of challenging the physical action by physically taking and controlling his hand, and the making of a scene with witnesses - who were politely baffled but could see my point. Ive never been sure if his power play was conscious and deliberate, or subconscious and automatic, but he didn't like it being witnessed by colleagues either way

We were once in a hotel with a pool. We finished and went to shower and change and this guy who had inexplicably taken his suitcase to the poolside had dumped it in one of the only two cubicles while he went for a lengthy shower. There were plenty of lockers and other places to leave luggage.

I moved it out so me and the kids could get changed and he boo-hooed at DH about how valuable it was when he got back; we'd just finished changing by the time he arrived.

DH later went to use the toilets in another bit of the hotel and he had spread the contents of the case all over the bathroom, DH was struggling to find a bit of floor space he hadn't covered.

Does your colleague have an Invernessian accent?

Next time you catch him manspreading, sweep it theatrically onto the floor or into the bin.

Agree with making a barrier. You can actually buy desk partitions, but you could knock one up really easily and cheaply, get bookends and prop up files, or move your inbox if you actually have one and it's not all computerised.
Other than that, everything that was placed on my desk would be tipped onto the floor under his, or into the bin. I wouldn't be stacking in neatly anymore. Push it off the back (preferably into some difficult to access crevice).

But there is someone next to him! He's not entitled to more space, and unless he has severe learning difficulties he must realise this. He can't just annexe the OP's desk. Does he think he's Vladimir Putin?

Seems reasonable if he persists.

Also if he needs that much paper or other things, I'd question his ability to do the job. Given how much work is done electronically.

I would throw in bin. 🤷‍♀️

What a twat. Just keep pushing it back. I also would ask Why do you keep putting your stuff on my desk when I have asked you not to? Is there a reason why you feel entitled to continue encroaching on my space? I would then reiterate that you do not want his stuff on your desk and that moving forwards, if he places anything on his desk, you will no longer be returning it, it will be going in the bin as you will assume that he doesn’t want it.

I was just thinking of this.

He may fall on one. Pierce an organ.