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AIBU?

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Xmas dilemma

127 replies

deviantfeline · 11/12/2025 04:54

A good friend (Joan) moved away recently after a difficult breakup. She’s coming back for a couple of days over Xmas so her son can spent time with his Dad and GP so she’ll be alone on Xmas day.
Me and DH are having a quiet one with a friend on Xmas day(Paula). Paula knows Joan but not very well and she has said she finds her a bit too much. Paula is naturally quiet but is engaged when it’s just the three of us. Joan loves to spend hours talking about herself very loudly and not listening to others conversations so she naturally dominates any chat which means Paula sits in silence as she bangs on about her own stuff
Joan has asked to join us on Xmas day.
AGGH what do I do? I don’t feel I can leave a friend alone on Xmas day but then again I don’t want Paula to feel squeezed out and she thought it was a quiet one with just the three of us.
If I ask Paula she will pull a face and say sheepishly ‘sure’ which leaves me in same place.
AIBU to tell Joan to come and hope she pipes down enough for Paula to get a word in? Or should I make excuses to Joan for lunch and tell her to come for drinks later or something.

OP posts:
TheAutumnCrow · 11/12/2025 05:11

Can’t you ask Joan to come along but to pipe down a bit for Paula’s sake?

Ask her to be mindful of your other friend, tone it down a bit, and try to engage with Paula a little more because she’s one of life’s lovely introverts. Joan must have noticed, surely?

deviantfeline · 11/12/2025 05:05

I should probably say I love Joan and would love her to be there and I think she would inject some much needed hilarity into the day but I suspect Paula would think otherwise hence the dilemma

OP posts: