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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More about school absence - what is lawful?

108 replies

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:19

I’ve had my arse handed to me over the attendance of my children as according to school records it’s nearing 80%. They have said that without GP letters they won’t authorise any further absences. Both of my children have had minor surgery and then follow up appointments and as the hospital that they’re under are nowhere near school, if the appointment is in the middle of the day they’re missing a whole day, which whilst not ideal is unavoidable.

The tone of the emails has been awful, and I’ve replied saying I’m committed to their attendance and education. But frankly I’m losing patience - why does it even matter how they choose to record it? I’d much rather they were in school but I also won’t send them if they’re genuinely unwell, or drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Barrenfieldoffucks · 11/12/2025 08:27

Hol9191 · 11/12/2025 00:05

I'm an attendance officer in a school and probably shouldn't be saying this but don't worry about it. It's all about figures and it's just dragging their overall percentages down which they won't like. Since the guidance changed last year, you honestly have to jump through a million hoops to actually fine a family for attendance. It used to be quite straight forward but not now, your local authority won't even consider fining you for a child with 80% attendance. I spent 6 months trying to get one over the line for a child with 16% and a parent that didn't care at all and even that was a battle for them to process. If you're engaging with the school and giving evidence of appointments, there's not much they can do, the snotty emails you're getting are because they have targets to hit percentage wise. Schools are businesses these days sadly

As an attendance officer, surely you're aware of the impact of missing an average of a day a week?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 11/12/2025 08:26

REDB99 · 11/12/2025 02:21

When you get the appointment and it’s at a time that means you miss a whole day at school you call them and say it isn’t a convenient time, can you have one later in the afternoon (even if it is for a different day). Your child then goes to school for most if not all of the day and then goes to the appointment.
How long does it take to drive 30 miles? An hour at most, max an hour with the orthodontist, then an hour back. How does this warrant a whole day off school?
You need to stop maxing excuses for taking a child out of school for a whole day for one appointment. Look up what 80% attendance actually means, it’s classed as being persistently absent from school and has a significantly detrimental effect on a child’s education.

Agreed. I have had 2 kids go through the orthodontist, and they go every 6 weeks. At one appointment, they arrange the next, I ask for early-ish morning and late-ish afternoon...so I can take them and then drop them back after, or collect early. If that isn't possible on the exact 6 week day so be it. I would not let them miss a whole day for an appointment, that's bonkers! Do you at least ensure they're keeping up with their work at home? I'm guessing not.

One of the above kids also has about 5 or 6 days off a year for sporting events, and has still never got down close to 80%. That's an average of a day a week off school.

What are you doing to mitigate the impact this will have on their education? And why are you so surprised the school are 🙄🤔

Thatcannotberight · 11/12/2025 08:25

As frustrating as it is, go to morning registration then leave. That will halve your missing sessions. A friend's daughter has had lots of very early orthodontist appointments, so she misses morning registration, but arrives just after tutor time and misses NO lessons. Her attendance is 82%, purely for missing registration. The system a farce.

darkestdecember · 11/12/2025 08:19

Soontobe60 · 11/12/2025 07:59

Schools have a cut off time for attendance when the registers close. In my school a child who arrives after 9am is marked as late that morning. Unless there’s an accepted reason, it will be marked as U.

Yes I know; that’s what I said.

Frynye · 11/12/2025 08:16

It’s frustrating but try to remember it’s not the schools fault either. We all have to play the game a bit, you will find the school much more helpful if you do. One of my kids has a lot of hospital appointments due to a serious health condition. We always try and get the in in the morning even if it means picking up within the hour. The school really do appreciate the effort

ACynicalDad · 11/12/2025 08:08

RhaenysRocks · 11/12/2025 08:05

But nobody needs straight 9s unless they are aiming for Oxbridge, which most people aren't. My DD could probably get that if she didn't have ND issues which makes her attendance and energy levels wobbly. I will be perfectly happy of she gets a decent crop of 6-8s. And again, I'm a secondary teacher with a very academic background.

I’m taking issue with it didn’t affect, it absolutely did. The better your grades the more choices you have. Even with 9’s and A*’s you don’t need to go to Oxbridge, but you can do almost anything. Get 4’s instead of 5’s and 6’s your opportunities are narrowing.

RhaenysRocks · 11/12/2025 08:05

ACynicalDad · 11/12/2025 07:54

Did they get straight 9’s? It absolutely will have affected them.

But nobody needs straight 9s unless they are aiming for Oxbridge, which most people aren't. My DD could probably get that if she didn't have ND issues which makes her attendance and energy levels wobbly. I will be perfectly happy of she gets a decent crop of 6-8s. And again, I'm a secondary teacher with a very academic background.

Soontobe60 · 11/12/2025 08:00

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:57

That’s a good point. The emails are coming from an “admin” email address but are signed “Mrs. Jones” or “Miss Smith” but the teacher’s own email addresses are not in the distribution. (And Mrs. Jones would never just sign off as “Mrs Jones” because she’s not an ignoramus and has signed everything previously “Jane Jones, Head of Year”)

I think this might be an overzealous attendance clerk. But in any case, they can’t ask for a bloody GP letter for all future absences can they?

Ask your GP receptionist to send you a text reminder when you book the appointment.

ACynicalDad · 11/12/2025 07:59

Local authorities can access attendance data in real time and will call the school out, it is vital they are in this. Medical providers are used to being asked for letters for school age children, you can even screenshot the spinning texts. If you do that and get them in on time on other days their attendance will be 100%.

But now I’d ask the providers for duplicate letters, (if you don’t have a portal you can download from) it won’t take long…

Soontobe60 · 11/12/2025 07:59

darkestdecember · 11/12/2025 07:28

It is, yes. It’s annoying because my son is down as having missed half a day and he didn’t, he was late in because our car broke down en route. Has 100% attendance apart from that. Sigh.

Schools have a cut off time for attendance when the registers close. In my school a child who arrives after 9am is marked as late that morning. Unless there’s an accepted reason, it will be marked as U.

Soontobe60 · 11/12/2025 07:57

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:57

That’s a good point. The emails are coming from an “admin” email address but are signed “Mrs. Jones” or “Miss Smith” but the teacher’s own email addresses are not in the distribution. (And Mrs. Jones would never just sign off as “Mrs Jones” because she’s not an ignoramus and has signed everything previously “Jane Jones, Head of Year”)

I think this might be an overzealous attendance clerk. But in any case, they can’t ask for a bloody GP letter for all future absences can they?

Surely if they have medical appointments you’d have appointment letters / emails / cards?
When I book a dentist appointment I get a text message and slip of paper with the appointment on. For hospital appointments I’ve always had proof. It sounds like you’re keeping both DC off school when one has an appointment. If so, one of them will definitely get unauthorised. I’d be booking ortho appointments either at the start or end of the school day so at least they do most of the day in school. 80% attendance over a year equates to 76 half days over a school year, which is over half a term off school. Over 5 years in secondary school that means they’re missing a full year of education.

ACynicalDad · 11/12/2025 07:54

SillyCecilia · 10/12/2025 23:55

Ignore them. Not sure what they can really do. Ds had low attendance around 80% and it don’t affect his education at all.

Did they get straight 9’s? It absolutely will have affected them.

gogomomo2 · 11/12/2025 07:51

And as far as gp letters etc, if they have a medical condition that is necessitating frequent absence then the school needs to be aware of this, if the 80% attendance (which is the equivalent of missing one day per week) is for a variety of reasons you need to be considering whether it’s a genuine blip and not going to be repeated or whether you are prioritising convenience over education. Yes I did take my dd in for one hour before picking her up to go to appointments, and yes even if there was only 60 minutes left I would drop her back, she missed a lot of school for a couple of reasons but she only missed what she had to

Lookingforthejoy · 11/12/2025 07:48

You need to take them in if they can be there for an hour.

Yea, it matters how things are recorded in case they decide to prosecute you. They can’t ask for GP letters for illness unless they believe you’re faking it - look up the DoE guidelines. They can ask for copies of appointment letters and they won’t authorise a full day off if they child could attend for part of the day

winterbluess · 11/12/2025 07:44

Interpink · 11/12/2025 00:58

I’ve gone back over emails and I think they have marked them absent when they may have missed registration etc but there’s no way they’ve missed that many days.

I collected DS for a dentist appointment and took him back half an hour later and it still came up as a missed session.

gogomomo2 · 11/12/2025 07:42

Surgery is unavoidable but orthodontist appointments are not acute treatment so should be made at times where school time missed is minimal if at all, my dc saw theirs at 5pm. If they need to be seen in hospital and the clinic was in the morning, I always requested 9am so I could get them back to school in a timely manner.

Meceme · 11/12/2025 07:38

Interpink · 11/12/2025 00:58

I’ve gone back over emails and I think they have marked them absent when they may have missed registration etc but there’s no way they’ve missed that many days.

If they've missed registration or arrived after registers have closed (usually 20-30 minutes after registers open depending on LEA/trust policy) they are automatically marked as absent for that session and this WILL count towards total absences. The school has no leeway in deciding that.
If they arrive late but registers are open they would get a late mark rather than absent.

darkestdecember · 11/12/2025 07:28

Crazybigtoe · 11/12/2025 07:15

Yes. But for absence calculation purposes, there are 2 key points in the day. So if kids are late, and miss that first registration, then it's calculated they have missed half a day- even though they may have attended all bar 20 mins of that morning.

It's this way at the 4 secondary schools my children have attended and the 3 primary schools. Yours may be different.

It is, yes. It’s annoying because my son is down as having missed half a day and he didn’t, he was late in because our car broke down en route. Has 100% attendance apart from that. Sigh.

FrenchBunionSoup · 11/12/2025 07:28

Both of my children have had minor surgery and then follow up appointments and as the hospital that they’re under are nowhere near school

I'd much rather they were in school but I also won’t or drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

I'm a bit confused, is this an orthodontist based at a hospital or are there two separate issues (i.e. the hospital is far away and the orthodontist is far away).

If it's the latter, is there not a closer orthodontist?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/12/2025 07:22

An 'over zealous clerk'? Really?

Seeing as that person will be completing the forms for the head to sign for referral to the local authority for penalty notices, a better attitude towards the person who is doing their job would be more productive.

80% in the first week of term isn't so bad, but by now, it should have vastly improved bar actual illness, disability or a bereavement.

adaywithy · 11/12/2025 07:20

Nincompoo · 11/12/2025 07:13

Helpful to who?!

it would be helpful to the kids’ education

Crazybigtoe · 11/12/2025 07:15

RhaenysRocks · 11/12/2025 06:56

Assuming this is secondary school they'll be registered in every lesson. Also, I teach secondary and have two teens who have both struggled with EBSA. what I know is that "gaps in learning" at this age , with attendance of 80% might end up equating to a few marks missed on one of two or three exams papers and if they are reasonably diligent with their out of school revision, they'll be fine. They may not get the grades they're technically capable of but enough to move on to next steps. I'm increasingly disillusioned with the system I am part of and it's straitjacket approach to complex issues.

Yes. But for absence calculation purposes, there are 2 key points in the day. So if kids are late, and miss that first registration, then it's calculated they have missed half a day- even though they may have attended all bar 20 mins of that morning.

It's this way at the 4 secondary schools my children have attended and the 3 primary schools. Yours may be different.

Nincompoo · 11/12/2025 07:13

verycloakanddaggers · 10/12/2025 23:35

It would be helpful to do this when you can: drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

Helpful to who?!

StarsTwinklingPomanders · 11/12/2025 07:10

Iant it awful that parents with sick children have this pressure on them ! Absolutely ridiculous

ScaryM0nster · 11/12/2025 07:06

It sounds like there might be a mix of a few different kind of abscences here.

Some
unavoidable medical ones, for illness or necessary health appointments. Some for convenience, where some school would have been possible around an appointment but you / your child decided it wasn’t worth the effort, and some that are potentially for cosmetic appointments (which is what most orthodontic appointments are - not all, but most), and some from being late.

Some of those are unavoidable, some are choices being made in your household. It may be worthwhile revisiting the household view of school attendance. Is it a priority, or secondary to everything else. It might have drifted slightly further down the list because there’s been a lot happening and an adjustment might be appropriate