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Original poster

To refuse to go to party week before Christmas

108 replies

Coffeesoon · 10/12/2025 21:55

It's mil birthday a week before Christmas and shes having a party. Meal out in restaurant with 25/ 30 people. We have been sick for Christmas before and i dont want to be sick this year or the kids.
I dont want to incase we pick something up in a busy restaurant, dh thinks im.being ridiculous. Sil has form for bringing her kids to things when they clearly have coughs and colds without telling us and then giving it to my kids!
Am I over thinking this and should I just go? Dh thinks its not an option to not go and that he and the kids will be going whether I go or not.

OP posts:
Bobiverse · 10/12/2025 22:10

Are you removing your kids from school, taking time off work and shutting yourselves away from now until Christmas?

It’s her birthday and then Christmas. That means family. How boring to refuse to attend a party because you might get sick, when no one is sick. You’re being really selfish and really miserable. I’d bet you’d go if it was your mum.

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 10/12/2025 22:07

RubyWinehouse · 10/12/2025 22:06

If hubby and kids are going you still run the risk of catching whatever bug is going round.

I think she wants none of them to go.

RubyWinehouse · 10/12/2025 22:06

If hubby and kids are going you still run the risk of catching whatever bug is going round.

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 10/12/2025 22:06

Yeah I also think you’re being ridiculous, you can’t expect him not to go to his mothers party, their grannies party, as you’re worried you will catch something, unless something missing where you’re vulnerable even if you did you’d be fine for Xmas,

Butterflywings84 · 10/12/2025 22:02

Yeah that is overkill unless you are otherwise locking yourselves away for the whole week - no more likely to get ill as a result of that gathering than you are from work/school/public transport/ shops.

mindutopia · 10/12/2025 22:02

Yes, I think you’re being ridiculous. It’s a restaurant, not a COVID ward at the height of the pandemic. Surely, the kids are in school a week before Christmas, and at the moment, our school is exploding with respiratory infections, vomiting bugs and chicken pox.

I’m immunocompromised with cancer and I’m not avoiding going out. What’s the point of hiding at home just for one day of presents and a roast? I’d much rather be out living my life.

EchoedSilence · 10/12/2025 22:01

Are you going to avoid all busy places in the week leading up to Christmas?

Luxio · 10/12/2025 21:59

A week before Christmas most people are still at work and children are still at school/nursery. You will likely be going into shops, Christmas events and mixing with lots of other people so in my honest opinion it sounds like you just don't like your MIL rather than you want to avoid illness.

It's her birthday and of course you should all attend a family meal.