To have asked my parents for a lift home?

In their eyes, potentially, yes.

Why is OPs living situation of any relevance whatsoever?

OP asked parents a perfectly reasonable question obviously hoping they’d say yes but understanding if they said no, but instead got told she was selfish for even asking the question. That’s not on.

have they talked to you since @coldabdtired

Well there's your answer. The pair of you are probably not paying them enough and they are feeling somewhat resentful. It may also be they would like to downsize to somewhere smaller and cheaper to run whilst they still have the energy and funds to do so but can't because they feel obligated to provide you and your DB with somewhere to live whilst you get on your feet. Have you shared your moving out plans with them? Ie by x date I'll have this much saved and will buy somewhere with friend / partner etc or are they in the dark and just hoping it's not going to be too much longer? They are 4 years below SP pension age so are probably living off private pensions and concerned about how long their funds will last. Maybe try and have an adult conversation with them about the impact you're each having on the other's future plans and see where that takes you.

It's relevant to the overall picture, much as might feel intrusive.

Completely agree, @Deliaskis. We’re in our seventies, and we are lucky enough to have a group of friends who will always drop anything if any of us is in a bind for whatever reason. If we were near our children, we would of course do the same for them, and they for us. Normal family and friends behaviour, nothing like this alternate universe some people appear to inhabit.

Gosh there are some tw*ts on this thread 😮! YANBU OP. I'd have picked up DD in such a circumstance. I live a few minutes from my parents and we often help each other out with e.g. lifts from medical appointments where there is no parking, car mechanics on service day, social things etc. I would certainly just grab a coat and whizz out and get you in such a circumstance. I have no idea why some people have such a problem with young adults living at home. It's completely irrelevant to the actual question really. And without wishing to make assumptions, the fact you work at a hospital suggests you're not an investment banker on £100k in your 20s, and so it's perfectly flipping obvious why you might be living at home, and why you might choose cheaper public transport to work instead of expensive parking. It's really not difficult to understand and I don't know why people are making such a thing of it. Aside from that, it's always ok to ask for help... you never know one of them might have texted back saying actually I'm just out in the car and not far from you I'll come get you now. It's just what... normal families and friends do really. It's really not an outrageous thing to have asked.

How much are you paying your parents in rent and what does it include? Is your brother younger or older and does he pay the same?

Well, that's one take.

If anything op, your situation is less problematic because given that you are not taking up social housing, it means someone else has the opportunity.

Op, I think someone is very unhappy with their lot and is using you to make themselves feel better about their own situation.

You have done and are doing nothing wrong!! And while you aren't paying market rates for your housing, there's a good chance you are more than covering you expenses - which means you are effectively subsidising your parents...

I think thats mean of them! None of our young adult dc drive and DH and I are an unofficial taxi service. The joke among my dd (20) and her friends is ",Shall we just get a J-uber?" (My name begins with J!). I don't begrudge them if we're not busy. Rather that than think of them cold and miserable!

Big hug for you, @coldabdtired
Sometimes I'm almost embarrassed to be a member of mumsnet.
I do hope you've had a much better day.

It’s them not you. Shame on them.

Absolutely. And 99% of the time I do but I live in the arse end of nowhere and tqxi’s aren’t always available and there is defintely no Uber. So it’s an ‘uber-mum’ and she is a SUber duber!! I would go to the end of earth for her and she’d do same for me.
people on Mumsnet are wierd.

This wouldn't have been an issue in my family. Sorry your mom is like this. Hope she compensates in other ways.

I’m really sorry people are piling on you for having the audacity to still live at home at 25. I moved out at the same age but I lived in Scotland, so much cheaper /easier to do. I live on the south coast now myself and I don’t know how anyone on minimum wage survives. I would have come out to get my son in those circumstances without needing to be asked as that’s what family do. I’d have done the same for my dad, sisters, mates too. I also bought an electric blanket last year and it has changed my life!

The average age for moving out of the family home is much older than it used to be so I am surprised the OP is being given a hard time. She is working, has a car and helps her family out with lifts which only seems to work one way. Our daughters bought their own places in their twenties but we helped them as we were in a position to. Even though they no longer live at home they live in the same town as us and either my husband and I would help them out with lifts if needed and have done all sorts of trips like delivering forgotten lunches or wellies/pr kit to schools for grandchildren or picking up from night out or station. They do the same for us if needed. Why the dramatics that a 25 year old just politely asked (not insisted) for a favour. Then got guilt tripped from a mother who couldn’t be bothered to make a 15 minute drive. What miserable self centred people are on this thread?

No one is saying there's anything wrong with you or your mum living in social housing or being subsidized by doing so. They are pointing out that you are having a go at OP for being subsidized and that is hypocritical of you. It's not your housing situation that's the problem, it's your judging of someone else for not doing something that you couldn't do either.

Good lord, OP. I’m goggling at some of these harsh responses! If you were my DD then I would have bunged my coat on and driven to meet you without hesitation. And I would be happy for you to still live at home, and wouldn’t rely on you to ferry me around if I can’t be arsed returning the favour. FWIW, I got my first job at 16, left home at 18 and didn’t rely on my parents from then on. Doesn’t mean to say that I expect my own DD to do or to be the same. Times change. It’s so much harder for young folk these days compared to when I was in my 20s in the 1990s. You were perfectly reasonable to ask for a lift. Hope you’ve properly thawed out now.

Most social housing is heavily subsidized by state money. Even for those who pay their entire rent from their wages and don't get any benefits, most social housing is purchased or built using significant state money that the rent does not repay. Even affordable housing that developers are required to provide mixed in with their other units to gain planning permission is subsidized by the non-social occupants. Some social housing built in more recent years is done using private finance that the association will have to pay back from rents, but it will use al rents including from subsidized housing to do that and will only have got the loan at a good rate because of that income stream of rent from subsidized housing.

This isn't to criticise those who live in social housing. It should be there. If anything it should be more heavily subsidized and more widely available. People should be able to have a home they can afford without having to choose between heating and food, etc.. It's to emphasize that there is nothing wrong with OP being subsidized by living at home.

For a young single person, the average waiting time for social housing in my area is over 5 years.