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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have asked my parents for a lift home?

620 replies

coldabdtired · 10/12/2025 19:08

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

OP posts:
cornflakecrunchie · 12/12/2025 11:23

No, @EINSEINSNULL actually I don't, @coldabdtired posted, we've said what we think, & tbh I'm guessing she wishes she HADN'T posted now.. people picking her life apart..

Ddakji · 12/12/2025 11:10

Well, the poll says more than some of these lunatic responses. So at least you know most people aren’t like them, @coldabdtired!

I would definitely subtly rein back on the lifts you’re giving them, OP.

K0OLA1D · 12/12/2025 11:03

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MorningActivity · 12/12/2025 11:03

Actually, I think you should have a sit down with them re expectations.
THEIR expectations of you always giving lifts to them…..

And I think you need to learn to say No to them regardless of the manipulation they’re sending your way (that’s the ‘we say no but you’ve made us feel so guilty’ blablabla).
im pretty sure that if you look carefully, this playing out regularly too. Ensuring complaisance and the one who sort stuff put fir them/smooth over problems is staying your role.

Id also advise you to move out abd start having clear boubdaries on what you will and won’t do. Because if they already have that level of expectations now when they’re still young and healthy (for 2 retired people), imagine what it will be when they’ll start to struggle.

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:50

cornflakecrunchie · 12/12/2025 10:48

It's how it's coming over..

To you, clearly. Don't you think OP needs to actually sit down with her parents and discuss expectations?

cornflakecrunchie · 12/12/2025 10:48

It's how it's coming over..

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:48

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Offering a different perspective isn't bullying.

cornflakecrunchie · 12/12/2025 10:46

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EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:45

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Sartre · 12/12/2025 10:43

I think they were being rather harsh. Most people would jump in the car and drive a short distance to collect a loved one, particularly when it’s freezing cold outside and they didn’t have anything else to do at that time. I’d understand if you regularly asked them to drop everything but this was a one off.

Original poster
coldabdtired · 12/12/2025 10:42

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:38

Right, but the rest of the statement isn't incorrect.
I think you all need to sit down and (re) discuss expectations.

Show quote history

It’s not an expectation though. It was a favour to ask for a lift - maybe one of them was out and about or my brother had finished work and would be able to get me. They said no, I accepted that. It was the way in which they said no that annoyed me. Not the fact they said no. I don’t know what you’re struggling with to be honest.

OP posts:
K0OLA1D · 12/12/2025 10:42

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:39

Nope, not struggling. HTH

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Well you obviously are. Nowhere does op says she expected anything, yet you seem to think she does

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:39

K0OLA1D · 12/12/2025 10:27

You are really struggling arent you

She wasn't expecting shit. She asked for a lift, she didnt expect one. Christ on a bike

Show quote history

Nope, not struggling. HTH

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:38

coldabdtired · 12/12/2025 10:34

I asked, I didn’t expect.

Show quote history

Right, but the rest of the statement isn't incorrect.
I think you all need to sit down and (re) discuss expectations.

Original poster
coldabdtired · 12/12/2025 10:34

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I asked, I didn’t expect.

OP posts:
K0OLA1D · 12/12/2025 10:27

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You are really struggling arent you

She wasn't expecting shit. She asked for a lift, she didnt expect one. Christ on a bike

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:23

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EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:22

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KeepDancing1 · 12/12/2025 10:14

Without the delay, you’re already waiting around for 45 minutes for a bus home after a long day at work - for a journey which takes 15 minutes by car! If you were my daughter, I’d be picking you up at the end of your working day if I was home from work myself

andthat · 12/12/2025 10:09

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EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 10:07

coldabdtired · 12/12/2025 09:56

Well that’s a load of bollocks. As I’ve said a million times, I wasn’t bothered by the fact they said no, it was the way they said it

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With all due respect, have you ever actually sat down and chatted about expectations, on both sides?

Roobarbtwo · 12/12/2025 10:05

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 07:14

Well, that's one take.

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Downright hilarious really - where people can assume you are "very unhappy with your lot". I assume that was aimed at me. For context I no longer live in that flat. I had to move five years ago because the flat I lived in was being demolished.

The entire housing scheme was being pulled down - and I now live elsewhere.

As for the dig that was made about not taking up social housing so that someone else has the opportunity - I made it quite clear that the area I moved into - people didn't want to live there and that's why the council decided to pull them down - the amount of voids.

People shouldn't feel ashamed of taking up any social or council housing if its available to them. I have friends (who live nowhere near me). Both families are in private lets. Both are paying well over a grand a month. One of the houses is damp and it's affecting their health because the landlord is refusing to do repairs.

There should be far more low cost accommodation for people who need it. People shouldn't have to live in insecure tenancies and pay over the odds for them knowing they could be served an eviction notice at any time

andthat · 12/12/2025 10:03

The responses on this thread…

I’ll always help my kids.. don’t care how old they are.

Seems many posters think the minute you turn 18 you are entitled for asking for any help whatsoever. Barmy.

HomeTheatreSystem · 12/12/2025 09:57

coldabdtired · 12/12/2025 09:32

The are perfectly happy with what we are paying and they do not want to downsize at all. They adore their house, the garden and spend all day out there. My dad gets his state pension, my mum has a private pension and they have other sources of income. Don’t make assumptions.

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I was positioning other perfectly reasonable possibilities that you may not have thought of as to why your mum refused to come and get you. You've said they don't apply which is fine. Maybe it comes down to nothing more than they find
driving in the dark, in heavy traffic with blinding oncoming headlights, very uncomfortable and unsafe or they are just innately selfish people. Who knows.

Original poster
coldabdtired · 12/12/2025 09:56

EINSEINSNULL · 12/12/2025 09:53

In their eyes, potentially, yes.

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Well that’s a load of bollocks. As I’ve said a million times, I wasn’t bothered by the fact they said no, it was the way they said it

OP posts:
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