To have asked my parents for a lift home?

I would definitely be less available after this for lifts to golf and rides home after drunken nights out.

I can't imagine where I wouldnt be willing to pick on of my kids up if they were stuck in the cold rain. Unless it was a regular occurrence, but this doesnt sound like it is!

Wow.
I'd stop giving them lifts from now on!
Then remind them of how they wouldn't do the same for you, when they ask.

Reading the words “selfish” written by your mum says quite a lot about how your family treats you. It’s all about how “guilty” you have made them… yet they still didn’t collect you!

I would review your family dynamics, because most parents would be concerned about their child (especially a young woman) waiting for a bus in the dark (I know it’s not late but still!).

They sound so spoilt, and it’s almost like you are being the mature parent and them a bunch of teenagers. Is there others things that they do that make you feel guilty? Or a bad person for asking?

If I were in your shoes the minute I got in I’d be saying “don’t any of you expect any lifts from me from now on!” And I’d stomp upstairs and slam the door! And if they ever asked me for a lift I’d say “nope I’m putting my pjs on”.

What miserable sods!

Im a very anxious driver and I would still have gone to pick a family member up. I may have said can you just walk to x street (meaning somewhere I could easily park) but I would have gone to get them.

If the bus was delayed by hours or cancelled completely then you would not BU.

But it was only 45mins delayed and so I would not have asked for a lift in that situation.

I’m a very soft parent but if my teen DD asked to be picked up then I’d have told her to wait the 45mins as it’s really not that long.

Their reaction was a bit OTT though and they could have just said yes or no.

Oh no OP that is so hurtful given you are a quasi taxi service. Pull back, just be unavailable / busy or just in your PJ’s (!) to be able to give lifts. Uber for dad for golf, for drunk brother and for mum. It works both ways. And if anyone mentions it you can tell them. I would have picked you up x

Bloody hell OP!
Where are you?
I'll come and give you a lift myself!

Honestly, some people...

That’s really crap. Hope it gets there soon.

Your parents are selfish

@coldabdtired YANBU at all OP and I can't understand your DM's attitude. Are your DF and DB aware of your request, or just your DM? The fact that you routinely give them all lifts and rarely, if ever, ask for the favour to be returned makes them a bunch of CFs and your DM calling you "selfish" is priceless! You might like to point this out to them when you get home (which I hope you already are!).

That's really shit. But I would take pleasure in telling them to stick it the next time they dare ask for a lift.

YANBU, OP.

I'm in my 40s but I know for a fact my Dad would still offer to pick me up in the situation you describe, I wouldn't need to ask.
Most of my friends' parents would do the same. Your Mum sounds quite mean.

Did they come and get you?

unless I’d had a drink, I wouldn’t think twice about collecting my dc, and I’ve done it in onesie and pyjamas in the past.

I am 35. Don't drive due to disability and if I needed an unplanned lift, as long as it wasn't a ridiculous distance away I would ask for a lift and my parents would come and get me. In their pj's if they were in them. Dp would do the same for our dc

My kids know they can ask me for a lift in situations like this. I commute myself and it’s no fun waiting that long for the bus. My dad picked me up from pubs / stations etc when I visited home even when I was in my 40’s. He never said no and never made me feel bad. Same for my kids. They both also have my card on their Uber account if ever need to get an Uber in an emergency.

Being in your PJs at 7.15 sounds depressing tbh. I'd stop giving them so many lifts unless it's part of the deal for living in their house.

Horrid. My parents are 78 and would pick me or grandkids up without hesitation. As I would for any of them.

Think they’re very mean and I’d make a point of refusing them lifts. It was cold, why couldn’t they just come and get you?

Stop all these lifts, they can bloody well get taxis or give each other lifts!

Why are they in pjs at 7pm? Do they work early shift and have to be up at 4?

If they have normal hours, they're just lazy, that's awful

Of course, you are not BU to ask, all the kids I know do ask - whatever their age. Sometimes parents say yes, sometimes no. it's no drama. Your parents are a little bit unkind and selfish, are they very elderly?

They're being mean especially if you give them regular lifts.

Tbh even if I was in my PJs, I'd have whacked on a coat and my crocs and drove to get you - as I have done for my DCs a few times over the years! They no longer live at home- one lives 2 hours away and I weirdly miss being the one they call in this type of situation.

Your mum blames you for not being telepathic, and then guilts you by making you responsible for her feelings. I know which I consider to be the selfish one.