Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unflip

1 2 ··· 20 21 22 23 24 25

Original poster

To have asked my parents for a lift home?

620 replies

coldabdtired · 10/12/2025 19:08

I’m 25, and live at home with my parents. I drive but use public transport for work because it’s cheaper than parking.

tonight the bus home is delayed by 45 minutes. I worked 9-6:30, I was hoping to get on the 7:15 bus but it won’t be at my stop till 8.

i texted my family chat saying I know it’s cheeky but was anyone able to give me a lift if I walked to a different stop and got on a different bus because it was cold and I left the house before 7. My mum has come back and said that I’ve been really selfish to ask as they’re in their pyjamas but they’re going to feel guilty for saying no now because they know I’m tired and cold.

AIBU to have asked? I never ask for lifts anywhere, I drive or get the bus.

OP posts:

Strawberry53 · 10/12/2025 20:35

That’s unkind of them, especially as it’s rare for you to ask, if I rang my mum for a lift she’d come for me no matter where I was or what age I was.

Hlooby · 10/12/2025 20:33

Your mum is basically saying: ‘If you have a problem, I’d rather you suffer in silence so that I don’t have to deal with it’. She doesn’t want to help you, so she’d rather not know to avoid feeling guilty. I would reflect on your family dynamics and think about how healthy they are.

Original poster

coldabdtired · 10/12/2025 20:30

I’m finally on a bus!

OP posts:

Hicupping · 10/12/2025 20:30

I was raised by my Dad he may have never been emotionally there but I always knew there was always a lift if I wanted it. Even decades after I moved out he recently offered to come and get me so I wasn't walking the short distance home from MOT place. Not once has he ever said no or complained about lifts. I'm sorry I think that's bloomin awful from your parents. Leaving you vulnerable in the wet dark for ages because they're in their PJs and then gaslighting you for their guilt at their crappy parenting.

Imdunfer · 10/12/2025 20:30

You asked nicely, all they had to do was say no nicely and instead they guilt tripped you. Not nice or reasonable, OP. I hope you got home and are warm now.

StepAwayFromMyCrutches · 10/12/2025 20:26

pollyglot · 10/12/2025 20:22

Why are you still living with and depending on your parents at 25?

Welcome to young adulthood in 2025 where it is too expensive for people to move out.

The average age for young people to leave home in the UK is around 24 years old, with half of people no longer living with parents by this age, up from 21 in 2011.

Original poster

coldabdtired · 10/12/2025 20:25

pollyglot · 10/12/2025 20:22

Why are you still living with and depending on your parents at 25?

I live with them because there’s a housing crisis and I’m single. I don’t depend on them.

OP posts:

Nicnak2223 · 10/12/2025 20:24

I'm not sure you need more fuel but I'm 38 with a house and 2 kids both my parents and MIL would come out of i messaged this as would I for them ..

Think about the relationship dynamics as you grow and move you. Your parents should guilt tripping you like this..

andfinallyhereweare · 10/12/2025 20:24

yanbu this makes me sad my dad still gives me lifts, getting up early, from the pub, from the station, drove me 10 hours to a uni thing there and back and I’m 37 and don’t live with him. My dad didn’t stop being a dad because I grew up.

pizzaHeart · 10/12/2025 20:23

Hope you make it home OP and having a nice rest. I think it’s time to think about moving out and leave them to sit in their pjs.
Your mum was very very mean and selfish.

pollyglot · 10/12/2025 20:22

Why are you still living with and depending on your parents at 25?

Owly11 · 10/12/2025 20:21

She needs to say either yes or no and cut out all the other crap. You are not responsible for her feelings. It is never unreasonable to ask - and it is always ok to say no.

Bunnycat101 · 10/12/2025 20:20

HeddaGarbled · 10/12/2025 20:14

Maybe this is generational but I think a healthy 25 year old who doesn’t just sigh and suck up a commute delay of less than an hour is being a bit pathetic.

Now I have done a lot of commuting delays and have had to sort myself out but she does have other options so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask. I think it really depends where she is. If she’s in a busy town and can pop into a shopping centre, that’s quite a different hour to sitting somewhere dark and isolated in the cold. If it’s genuinely a 15 minute trip then I think a lot of people would go and get someone in that situation. It’s not like the OP’s parents have to be up and out for work.

abracadabra1980 · 10/12/2025 20:20

What selfish fucker your mother is. Any loving parent would just chuck a big coat on and help their child out. I honestly don't know why people like this have kids. I have just said to both of mine (now left home and both independent of me), that if either of them or their partners need a lift home and are stuck over Christmas, to call me and I'll be there if I can/have had a drink. They never bother me in any way unless they genuinely need me, so why would I not want to help them out, young adults or not. Also, they would do it for me. You reap what you sow.

user1471538275 · 10/12/2025 20:20

I generally believe in reciprocity. It might be transactional but generally I will treat people the way they treat me.

You have given your parents lifts - I think they should have gone and got you.

(Truthfully even if my children didn't give me a lift I would still have gone and got them - because they're exceptions to my rule and I like doing things for them.)

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 10/12/2025 20:19

I'd tell them you do a lot for them and it isn't much to ask for as a one off

fluffiphlox · 10/12/2025 20:19

In my family, it was completely normal for people to offer lifts and collect people from the station. In my husband’s family, nobody would give a lift to anyone. The height of meanness.

Highlights12 · 10/12/2025 20:18

that’s mean & selfish of them. Only time I’d say no would be if I’d had a drink.

m00rfarm · 10/12/2025 20:18

I would be very disappointed with them.

Original poster

coldabdtired · 10/12/2025 20:17

HeddaGarbled · 10/12/2025 20:14

Maybe this is generational but I think a healthy 25 year old who doesn’t just sigh and suck up a commute delay of less than an hour is being a bit pathetic.

i have, I’ve not demanded a lift? I just asked if it was possible

OP posts:

MyNeedyLilacBird · 10/12/2025 20:16

Absolutely awful your mum is and the rest, if they have just ignored the request. Never give any of them a lift again- I'd take great pleasure in declining them next time they inevitably ask

Emonade · 10/12/2025 20:16

Soashamed60 · 10/12/2025 19:12

Unless i was absolutely shattered myself I'd have just put a coat in & gone out in my pj's to fetch my dd. It's been a long day & its dark & cold. Families help each other out, even when you're over 18. You could have then done something nice for her in return

This

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 10/12/2025 20:15

All you did is ask. They could have just said no if they wanted to. UNBU IMO. Just know it's not personal!

HeddaGarbled · 10/12/2025 20:14

Maybe this is generational but I think a healthy 25 year old who doesn’t just sigh and suck up a commute delay of less than an hour is being a bit pathetic.

Catsinaflat · 10/12/2025 20:14

Next time dad is going to golf make sure you have your pj's on.

Unflip

1 2 ··· 20 21 22 23 24 25

Swipe left for the next trending thread