To have asked my parents for a lift home?

So, on one hand, as a seasoned London commuter, a delay of 45 mins is so commonplace, it wouldn't have occurred to me to call anyone expecting a lift, I'd just grab a hot coffee and carry on with my life. However, if any of my young adult childten called asking for a lift in that situation, I'd do it without hesitation (well more likely I'd tell DH to do it )

Very mean! I pick DS up in my pyjamas all the time! I don’t understand parents like this. If I called my dad now and asked him to pick me up he’d come, and I don’t live at home!

Maybe they’ve had a drink and don’t want to drive?

Well you know what to do the next time they need a lift!

Hope you get home safely, and then use up all the hot water and eat the last of the biscuits

We used to do this all the time for DD when she lived with us. And she rarely asked! One New Year, she was supposed to be staying in our flat in London, but she texted and said the crowds were so bad she couldn’t get near the tube, and as she was near Paddington, she’d head home after all, and get a taxi from the station. Taxi driver refused to take her as he said she could walk it. She texted us to say she was walking back from the station, we told her to wait, jumped in the car and collected her. It’s what family do.

I remember calling my parents from a pay phone at about 11 years old and asking for a lift up the hill (5 mins in the mid afternoon) because I’d been swimming in rivers all day and was exhausted to do the mile long walk up a hill to get home. I was told swiftly to bugger off as they are ‘not a taxi’ and I don’t think I ever asked them for a lift again.

But that’s very different.

You couldn’t get to work or would have been very late.
Most people would have given a lift in these circumstances.

OP would only have had to wait 45mins.
It’s not that she couldn’t get home.

Their response was rude though.

I hope you replied ‘so is that a no?’ And remember in the future that lifts are only ever provided when convenient. It wouldn’t be convenient for me next time they asked. Pyjamas is such a non issue.

Shes being mean and selfish. I'd regularly pick my dd up if buses are running late, she has a child to get home to, I'd throw a coat over my pj's if I'm already changed. I even volunteered to drop my grand daughter an hour and a half away and collect the following day so she could have a sleep over with her cousin, dd doesn't drive. If no one else is willing to inconvenience themselves for you then stop doing it for them.

So you messaged them at 7 and will be lucky to get home by 9.

just remember how ‘selfish’ you are next time they ask you.

Somehow, the whole thing struck me as casually cruel

I think pathetic is a strong word and unnecessary but I agree and I am quite surprised by these replies.

I would not ask or think to pick someone up if the bus was only 45mins delayed.

I would walk to the nearest shop and back to keep warm if I was cold.

Perhaps it depends on where you live.
Where I live it’s very normal to wait an hour for the next bus but I know some areas only have to wait 10/15mins.

I asked my parents if I could get a lift to work as my car wouldn't start, they were more than happy to and rushed out to help (45 mun round trip) this was about half 8 and they are in their early 70's!
I'd do the same for my daughter and have done many times as an adult, coat over PJ's and job done, no matter what the time.

I hope you got home safe. My Mum used to do the exact same to me, I thought it was the norm to be honest, so it’s actually quite healing reading everyone’s responses.

Meanwhile in the real world...

And how is she dependent on her way back from work, presumably where she earns a salary? With a car she runs them around in.

Not unreasonable of you to ask. They could have just said no sorry, we’re in pyjamas and left it at that. The guilt tripping and calling you selfish is out of order, they haven’t been forced.

Me too. My eldest is 20. Happily went to get her at 3am in the morning recently as she got stranded after an Oasis concert and missed the last train back to her uni digs. 35min journey each way and brought her home.

I was pleased that she called me and her dad, rather than walk in the dark, rain, and alone for 2hours across London. She will always be my daughter. I’d do the same for my son. And my husband (have done similar for him recently too, in my PJs at midnight thanks to cancelled trains). It’s what you do for the people you love and you hope they’ll pay it forward when they have kids/partner.

Yes, I know it’s a bit of a pain, but no OP you were NBU to call and ask.

Wow do parents actually speak like this to their kids? Regardless of your age. Wouldn’t any parent try help their child if they can? I’m 43 and my mum still makes sure she takes care of me when she’s around. She’s the selfish one

I think this is where families can be very different really. I would happily have, and have previously, jumped in the car to drive 15 mins to pick any member of family up, any of my family members would and have done the same without complaint, it’s just what we do. My husband’s parents on the other hand would have acted as though he had asked them to sacrifice a limb and refused, despite the fact that they used to expect him to drop everything to taxi them around at all days & times.

Assuming it is a rare occasion you ask for a lift back from work I would tell them exactly that when you get home. Tell them you were having a bad day, it was freezing, you were knacked and just wanted someone to care enough to give you a lift, when you have care enough to give them lifts when needed. That they should feel bloody guilty but you don't want to discuss any further as you have had it for tonight and you need to time to reflect on it for when they ask for lifts in the future, but for now you are getting some dinner and going to bed to warm up.

I lived at home until around you age and family, regardless of how much you love them, become really difficult to live with as you get older - hope you manage to find an exit strategy soon.

Why is any 25 year old living with their parents these days, do you really and truly have your ask such a condescending question ? And it doesn’t sound like the OP depends on them, she asked for a once-off lift home, which would only take 30 minutes of the driver’s time. It’s no big deal, I’d do it for any of my children if I could. They’d do the same for me.

I hope your mum does feel guilty and mean - I would have picked you up in a heartbeat, pjs or no.

Oh well, no more trips to golf, the pub or anywhere else any of them would like to go. Silver linings.

Hope you get home soon, OP x

I think your family are within their rights to say ‘no sorry im in my PJs’ (although that might make you re-think next time they want a lift). But to say you shouldn’t even ask is horrible.