To have asked my parents for a lift home?

OP, let me pick up on something. You said, almost in passing ' I regularly get drunken calls from my brother to pick him up in the middle of the night.' This is a huge red flag. What this means is that you're regularly their to as a 'cleaner' for THEIR SON who has such a serious drinking problem that he's incapable of getting a Uber or taxi (or bus or lift from the designated driver or whatever).

What you described in your post are symptoms of the underlying problem.

Rather than focusing on who gives who lifts what I would suggest here is that you read the riot act to the alcoholic entitled brother and move out. Leave them to it.

I know a lot of selfish people who will defend themselves and say well I've had a long day, or I'm tired, or I'm cold, you know what? I'm also tired and cold and have had a long day. So I'm 25 years younger than you are, so what? Does that mean that I should wait outside in the cold in the dark for 45 minutes, if you can pick me up and give me a lift home? No. That's what family's for. Not to be your whipping boy but to be a support for each other. They sound selfish. Tell them I said so

Be sure to buy some pyjamas before next time.

but these ones are happy to ASK for lifts.

I agree with this 100%.

If a family member asked me for a lift in the nice way you did, OP, id either say “Yes” or say “Sorry im in my PJ’s/had a wine/off out (insert other reason) and hope you get home soon”.

The comments about you being selfish to ask and that youve “made” your mum feel guilty by doing so are emotionally immature and just not an acceptable way for an adult to communicate with a loved one, in my view.

I would try hard to move out because you want to put boundaries up around this style of communication. But it’s hard to do that when youre living in your parents home.

My parents wouldn't even pick me up from college after work. It was a really long walk in the dark to the nearest bus stop but only 10 minutes to home by car. We have ferried our girls everywhere within reason.

Lifts were always normal in my family. My parents loved it when I learnt to drive so I could give my brothers lifts on a night out instead of them! I offered to drive my nan to her tea morning every week because the taxi she'd booked to take her forgot to turn up TWICE. Stuff happens, buses are late, trains get cancelled etc. and family are supposed to be there for you when that happens if they can!

I’d throw on my coat but my DM never would have and nor would we have asked.
Not all parents are happy to do lifts

Agree.

Even though they're all now over eighteen, I tell DC if I'm able, I'll always pick them up. I say I might not be delighted, but no questions asked, I'll be there. This is what parents do, or at least it is in my circle.

Ignore the shitty replies. This is disappointing and a sign you should look out for yourself. Good luck

You need to give them a piece of your mind. Cheeky f cadging lifts off you and not wanting to return the favour. I'd give them a proper talking to.

@Fruitbatdancer I think you’re abit cheeky, I’d expect someone in their 40’s to sort out their own transport. But hey, if they’re willing to do it. 😂

Yes I would pick up my DD (mid twenties) at the drop of a hat if she needed it. She doesn’t live with us now but when she did I was pleased to be able to do that sort of thing for her. DH would have done the same too.

Our kids are independent adults now but I love the opportunity to help them out in some way. I’m so sorry you got this response when you asked OP.

several times a year I text my mum and dad and ask for a lift. I don’t live at home, I am a 45 year old married mum of one. I’m always on the last train. I am normally 3 wines in. Once I fell asleep on the train and ended up end of line, dad drove to Margate at 2am. Once I got on the wrong train and ended up in fucking gravesend, mum came to get me. With a friend, at midnight. I have form. They love me. It’s like an annual adventure. I do a lot for them too. It’s what parents do for kids.

I can understand if they both been drinking then yes they cant pick you up. I don't have children but if I did and drove then i would have picked them up regardless their age. Todays world is very different I dont feel safe at night on my own on cold dark streets anything can happen I would really worry for your safety. Or my own safety I remember once some years ago I was stranded had no money to get a taxi so I walked at 7pm at night to friends house to use her phone to call home my mums she wouldnt want me walking alone at all on the streets home. I lived a good 3 hour walk away from town to my home address with no phone battery. My mum was so please I called for help at friends house to get picked up she was bothered for my safety and wouldnt let me walk home alone for hours in the dark. It doesnt matter what age you are or your children are it's your well being and safety comes first

It’s never unreasonable to ask. I think your family were mean - especially as you give them lifts when needed. Even if you’d asked and they’d said ‘sorry - can’t help this time’, that would be ok - but to say you are selfish for asking seems bizarre. Sorry you had such a long wait and maybe match their energy in terms of helping out.
Part of the essence of our family is supporting and helping out if needed - sounds similar for many others. If I could help, I always would.

Wow, that's just so shit of them. Sorry.

I'd do it in a heartbeat @coldabdtired - 61yo mom here to a young adult. Im always happy to offer lifts, no matter on time of day or night - I'd much prefer everyone was home safe and it's always a lovely opportunity for a chat and catchup.

Îd have picked my kids up after a long day at work even if it wasn’t cold and there were transport problems

They’re being lazy and selfish

wow.

I've been repeating an example of someone who ignored the whole point of a post (something about nursery/grandparent not putting a raincoat on small child iirc) to post "but it hasn't rained today?" because it stuck in my mind for nearly ten years as being one of the stupidest things someone has ever said, either in MN or real life, and now here's another one.

How can you get to the age and ability where you are able to post online without understanding that where you are isn't automatically exactly the same as the rest of the world?

Even if it's not as cold as it could be in December, most people would finding waiting outside for a long time in the evening pretty chilly.

I’m always driving out to pick my son up in my slippers, nightdress and coat. Your mum is being mean.

I have a son a similar age to you and have had those calls. As long as he didn’t take the piss I would always collect him if possible. Your parents are unreasonable, and your brother? Maybe stop giving them lifts

Why were the in pyjamas at 7pm?? I would have picked you up without a second thought. I did things like that for my daughter. Even picking her up when she was on a night out at age 18 and was feeling ill after having a couple of drinks which she wasn’t used to.